Results 1 to 16 of 16

Thread: Need some answers

  1. #1
    Regular Member Comm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Nicholasville, KY
    Posts
    135

    Need some answers

    Ok, guys, I need some good answers...

    I have had my CCW for many years now, and for the most part never put my primary weapon on till I was ready to leave the house. My family knew this, and my wife and kids, (now 17, and 18) knew that I carried, but never told anyone.
    I have started to wear another weapon around the house in a retention holster, a Ruger SR40C I recently purchased, just to get the feel of the weapon, and if I like the holster.
    Now, here is my problem.... My kids and wife have started to "express" their displeasement with me carrying my weapon around in the house in plain view. My youngest daughter says she doesn't feel safe with me carrying around like that, and my wife has taken her side. I have tried to tell them that even in daylight, we are vulnerable in the house, and we all need to be prepared. My other weapon that I always carry is a Ruger 380 in a Bulldog pouch, which hides it completely, and by looking, you would think it's a large cell phone case, so I'm guessing the size didn't really bother them, but the SR40C is!

    So, if any of you have had similar issues with family, let me know how you dealt with them. My only option right now, is to not carry around the house, and to strap on when we go out.

    Thanks, Comm

  2. #2
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Olive Hill, Kentucky, USA
    Posts
    186
    Quote Originally Posted by Comm View Post
    Ok, guys, I need some good answers...

    I have had my CCW for many years now, and for the most part never put my primary weapon on till I was ready to leave the house. My family knew this, and my wife and kids, (now 17, and 18) knew that I carried, but never told anyone.
    I have started to wear another weapon around the house in a retention holster, a Ruger SR40C I recently purchased, just to get the feel of the weapon, and if I like the holster.
    Now, here is my problem.... My kids and wife have started to "express" their displeasement with me carrying my weapon around in the house in plain view. My youngest daughter says she doesn't feel safe with me carrying around like that, and my wife has taken her side. I have tried to tell them that even in daylight, we are vulnerable in the house, and we all need to be prepared. My other weapon that I always carry is a Ruger 380 in a Bulldog pouch, which hides it completely, and by looking, you would think it's a large cell phone case, so I'm guessing the size didn't really bother them, but the SR40C is!

    So, if any of you have had similar issues with family, let me know how you dealt with them. My only option right now, is to not carry around the house, and to strap on when we go out.

    Thanks, Comm
    Perhaps a detailed conversation about why she feels unsafe might help. Is she afraid the gun will jump out of your holster and fire at her? What specifically is her fear. When she sees that her fear is not rational, perhaps she will change her views.

    I seldom deliberately carry in the house, but there are pistols where I can quickly retrieve them if needed. Additionally my Ruger 380 is often in my pocket just out of habit.

    Other than those suggestions, you might just have to tell them you choose to be able to protect them at all times and they just need to accept it.

    Gary

  3. #3
    Regular Member 09jisaac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Louisa, Kentucky
    Posts
    1,694
    Same as Mroverlay, it seems that they are being irrational and using 100% emotion to base their decision on. Most antis use this approach and we all know how hard it is to sway their opinion. It is hard to reason with them that modern guns don't just "go off" even though they know that you have carried for years and I am guessing without any negligent discharges? Like what was said, it isn't a rabid dog that will just attack with no warning. It isn't going to just climb out of the holster and shoot your wife/daughters multiple times. With a good holster it'll right their through a hurricane. Also the gun is EASILY the safest if it is in possession of a competent person especially worn in a modern holster designed to be carried (as opposed to quickdraw competition holsters). Your daughters, being old enough to know better this wont apply to you, but I ALWAYS keep my M&P ready to go(no external safety). So when my niece, who turns 2 in July, is around I don't chance leaving it in my room where I hope she can't get. So I either wear it or hide it out of her reach. I would not be able to live with knowing that my gun killed someone I love, so I limited the chances every chance I get.

    So OP, it is difficult sway someone who already has their mind made up. If you can get by with it then don't even try to persuade them into accepting it, just carry your gun around anyways. Exactly like we do with all the other antis.
    No man alive can beat me in a fair fight: It's not fair to chase a man down and beat him.

  4. #4
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    KY
    Posts
    127
    While it won't be of much help for you now... Did you introduce your kids to firearms by teaching them safety and marksmanship? I was introduced to weapons around 3 years old. At first it was this is a gun and don't ever touch it unless I tell you to. Over the years, safety, marksmanship, cleaning, assembly, ect. was added, until I was about 13, then I got a key to the gun cabinet. We went shooting routinely and even some organized stuff within the fish and game club, like trap and skeet. Gun were an everyday part of life for us. I have 2 children now, they will be 4 and 3 this year. I've began the same process with them, except I'll probably expand on a few things. But I anticipate by the time they are adults, they will be thoroughly trained and seasoned with the use of rifles, shotguns, and handguns for fun, practice, hunting, and self-defense.

  5. #5
    Regular Member Comm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Nicholasville, KY
    Posts
    135
    Quote Originally Posted by garyh9900 View Post
    While it won't be of much help for you now... Did you introduce your kids to firearms by teaching them safety and marksmanship? I was introduced to weapons around 3 years old. At first it was this is a gun and don't ever touch it unless I tell you to. Over the years, safety, marksmanship, cleaning, assembly, ect. was added, until I was about 13, then I got a key to the gun cabinet. We went shooting routinely and even some organized stuff within the fish and game club, like trap and skeet. Gun were an everyday part of life for us. I have 2 children now, they will be 4 and 3 this year. I've began the same process with them, except I'll probably expand on a few things. But I anticipate by the time they are adults, they will be thoroughly trained and seasoned with the use of rifles, shotguns, and handguns for fun, practice, hunting, and self-defense.
    Well, I tried... but the wife didn't think the "girls" needed to be around guns of any kind. Now that said, I have very gradually introduced them to my guns, and drilled safety into their heads. We've been shooting at our farm for some time, and really, they just don't seem "interested" in shooting. I tried, but I guess I failed as a father, and as a avid gun enthusiast.
    Maybe they have become bored with me every time I go to the store just to buy ammo, and they wanted makeup....so maybe it's a girl thing, but I was hoping they would follow my lead.

  6. #6
    Regular Member bigdodge25's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Louisville
    Posts
    31
    Here is two links ot mid-day hom einvasins when people were home. I seen another video somewhere that had a brekdown of a home invasion during the day where all the people were shot and killed all because they didnt have a gun beside them or on them. I usually always have my gun somewhere around me when im home on the couch or whatever. I even take one with me if I going next door to hang out with my nieghbors.

    http://www.kmtv.com/news/local/129280493.html

    http://www.thelakewoodscoop.com/news...-invasion.html
    G19

  7. #7
    Regular Member neuroblades's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    , Kentucky, USA
    Posts
    1,240

    A Pat On The Back, Some Advice & A Story. :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Comm View Post
    Well, I tried... but the wife didn't think the "girls" needed to be around guns of any kind. Now that said, I have very gradually introduced them to my guns, and drilled safety into their heads. We've been shooting at our farm for some time, and really, they just don't seem "interested" in shooting. I tried, but I guess I failed as a father, and as a avid gun enthusiast.
    Maybe they have become bored with me every time I go to the store just to buy ammo, and they wanted makeup....so maybe it's a girl thing, but I was hoping they would follow my lead.
    Hold on now, Comm. You're being far too harsh on yourself there buddy. To say that you "guess you failed as a father and as an avid gun enthusiast", is a pretty harsh thing. You haven't failed as a father or a gun guy, in the least! Some gals are just more inclined to guns than others, many things work to shape their overall POV of guns from their peers, home environment, school environment, social POV's and the media of course. As long as they KNOW gun safety, you've achieved the main goal! Just don't push them into the "gun corner", let them know that when/if they would ever like to go shooting with their "Old Man", you're there. Let them come to it and in time they will.

    I can tell you something that just came to mind as I was writing this and though it might sound bad to say, please understand that I'm only adding this because it might help you and it's something that I learned about the hoplophobe mentality. My girlfriend had a very bad experience when she was a little girl that involved a gun. When we first met and she told me about it, I knew that it wouldn't be right and honest if I didn't make her aware of the fact that I do carry a sidearm. I figured that she'd freak out at the very least or at the very worst, break off the relationship when I told her but to my surprise, she didn't! Let me be very straight with you on this, she was very afraid of firearms when we met! But over the period of a few months of her knowing me and watching me shoot and I can not stress enough, watching my gun safety; she has gotten over her initial fears of firearms in general. She has no problems with my carrying OC/CC at her place or even when we go out for the night. Why was this, what caused her change in thought; TRUST! She had feared guns not because of them being guns but because she didn't trust those that had them! TRUST is a key issue and it might be something that you need to sit the wife and girls down and have a serious discussion with them about. If they trust you to carry outside the household then they in theory should trust you to carry inside the household, logically. I'm not sure if this might be the issue in your situation but I found it to be in one of mine.

    But never do like I did in my previous relationship with a female that didn't like guns, NEVER stop carrying because of someone else's fears of your gun! That's what I did for a time and I vowed that I'll NEVER do that ever again!

    As for carrying in the home, I can fully understand where you're coming from about wanting to wear the new gun and holster to get the feel of it and to familiarize yourself with it, but if that's the only reason for carrying it in to house then you have 2 options as I see it.

    1. Carry on and explain to them clearly why you are carrying it in the house and let that be that.
    2. Not carry it in the house and just learn from actual OC/CC in public.

    Now, if you're actually carrying in the house for self-defense purposes, then I'd suggest carrying your .380 concealed as you had mentioned earlier.

    Personally, as I see it myself, a man's home is his castle and if a man can't be himself in his own home then where can he truly be himself!

    Now as a slight disclaimer; I live alone, I do carry in my house ALOT! When I'm not carrying in my house, there's ALWAYS a weapon within 20 feet of any location in my house! I do carry when I'm at my girlfriend's house as well and she's well aware of it.

    Well, I've written more than I had intended to but I hope that something I've written here will serve you well in your situation, Comm.
    Got SIG? MOLON LABE

  8. #8
    Regular Member Comm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Nicholasville, KY
    Posts
    135
    Quote Originally Posted by neuroblades View Post
    Hold on now, Comm. You're being far too harsh on yourself there buddy. To say that you "guess you failed as a father and as an avid gun enthusiast", is a pretty harsh thing. You haven't failed as a father or a gun guy, in the least! Some gals are just more inclined to guns than others, many things work to shape their overall POV of guns from their peers, home environment, school environment, social POV's and the media of course. As long as they KNOW gun safety, you've achieved the main goal! Just don't push them into the "gun corner", let them know that when/if they would ever like to go shooting with their "Old Man", you're there. Let them come to it and in time they will.





    Well, I've written more than I had intended to but I hope that something I've written here will serve you well in your situation, Comm.
    Thanks neuroblades... I needed that, and I will try that this weekend. We have family meetings, and I will call this one to talk about this. It may turn out to be a screaming match, but hopefully they will understand that it's for their protection that I'm doing this. I think the kids, (One starting college, and the other is a Junior in HS) have become "conditioned" by the school system that they feel they are protected and nothing will harm them. I made my oldest go with me to get her pepper spray at my local gun shop, and she did not know why I was doing this. I told her that she needed to have it in her hands when she leaves the dorm or classroom at all times, but I know she won't, and I can only pray that she doesn't become a statistic!

    I enjoyed the read, and it did help me to understand a few things. Thanks for the info.
    Last edited by Comm; 02-24-2012 at 02:53 PM.

  9. #9
    Activist Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Ashland, KY
    Posts
    1,847
    I believe alot of your daughters misconceptions with firearms is learned in school. I recently had a meeting with one of my (4 year old) daughters teachers because my little girl decided to tell her that her daddy carried a gun to protect her, and the teacher told her guns were awful evil things that us ordinary people shouldn't have. When my little girl told me about this i was a bit upset. what right does this teacher have to tell my daughter something that is completely legal and constitutionally protected is evil?
    Luckily I've been teaching my daughter about firearms for almost 2 years now, she soon turns 5. She is my little cleaning buddy and I can't open my gun safe or get into my cleaning box without her standing Aat attention patiently waiting to help with whatever I'm doing.

    Have you tried taking them to the range? Let them set with you while disassembling your guns for cleaning? Maybe get on the NRA's website and read them the armed citizen articles, and ask what would they do without your firearm if you all ended up in that situation. They must know that gun is merely a tool you will use to save their life. Tell them you carry it because they are your world, and couldn't Stand yourself if something happened and you wasn't able to properly protect them. Get them to understand from your standpoint, it's your love for them that makes you carry.

  10. #10
    Regular Member Comm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Nicholasville, KY
    Posts
    135
    Quote Originally Posted by KYGlockster View Post
    I believe alot of your daughters misconceptions with firearms is learned in school.

    KYGlockster, I believe your right. I do think my youngest daughter has been "swayed" by friends and teachers at her school. It seems like one day it was like flippin a switch, she went from Dad has his gun, to Why are you wearing that gun around here....

  11. #11
    Regular Member 09jisaac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Louisa, Kentucky
    Posts
    1,694
    Quote Originally Posted by KYGlockster View Post
    I believe alot of your daughters misconceptions with firearms is learned in school. I recently had a meeting with one of my (4 year old) daughters teachers because my little girl decided to tell her that her daddy carried a gun to protect her, and the teacher told her guns were awful evil things that us ordinary people shouldn't have. When my little girl told me about this i was a bit upset. what right does this teacher have to tell my daughter something that is completely legal and constitutionally protected is evil?
    Luckily I've been teaching my daughter about firearms for almost 2 years now, she soon turns 5. She is my little cleaning buddy and I can't open my gun safe or get into my cleaning box without her standing Aat attention patiently waiting to help with whatever I'm doing.

    Have you tried taking them to the range? Let them set with you while disassembling your guns for cleaning? Maybe get on the NRA's website and read them the armed citizen articles, and ask what would they do without your firearm if you all ended up in that situation. They must know that gun is merely a tool you will use to save their life. Tell them you carry it because they are your world, and couldn't Stand yourself if something happened and you wasn't able to properly protect them. Get them to understand from your standpoint, it's your love for them that makes you carry.
    Id be pissed too. What exactly did (s)he say when you confronted him/her on it?

    Also Comm, you didn't fail as a father. You, probably, did the best you could raising your daughters, just because society has pushed a view on them don't mean you failed. They're always going to be your babies but you just need to let them live the way they want to live.

    @Neuro, you must have gave her a good reason to trust us. She didn't seem like she minded one bit a whole bunch of guys she didn't know carrying guns.
    No man alive can beat me in a fair fight: It's not fair to chase a man down and beat him.

  12. #12
    Regular Member hermannr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Okanogan Highland
    Posts
    2,332
    You need to sit down and talk it out, find out where the problem is, then give her some good reasons why it is in her best interest that you carry. Might even might want to OC outside the home too. She has to learn that guns are not dangerous and cannot hurt her if handled properly.

    Time to find out why (the real reason may be difficult to get to). I read about one gal that was terrified by loud noises (even thunder). She's a cop now...She used pistol shooting to get over her phodia. You might want to read this too:

    http://jpfo.org/filegen-n-z/ragingag...elfdefense.htm

    I have one SIL that is an anti. He twitches and squirms when we all go out to dinner, but has learned to keep his mouth shut. He has also learned that even if he is footing the bill, the restaurant will allow OC, or my wife and I will not go with them. Funny thing, this anti SIL has a teenage daughter that loves to shoot with old grandpa.

  13. #13
    Regular Member 09jisaac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Louisa, Kentucky
    Posts
    1,694
    I had to read to the end of your post to realize that "SIL" means "son-in-law" not "sister-in-law".
    No man alive can beat me in a fair fight: It's not fair to chase a man down and beat him.

  14. #14
    Regular Member neuroblades's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    , Kentucky, USA
    Posts
    1,240
    Quote Originally Posted by 09jisaac View Post
    Id be pissed too. What exactly did (s)he say when you confronted him/her on it?

    Also Comm, you didn't fail as a father. You, probably, did the best you could raising your daughters, just because society has pushed a view on them don't mean you failed. They're always going to be your babies but you just need to let them live the way they want to live.

    @Neuro, you must have gave her a good reason to trust us. She didn't seem like she minded one bit a whole bunch of guys she didn't know carrying guns.
    Well, I've been working with her; teaching her weapons safety, weapons maintenance, teaching her how to correctly shoot and what NOT to do while she is shooting and afterwards. She's coming along very well but then the season's changed and we had to stop shooting due to the cold and weather. But the warm days will soon return and so shall we.

    She likes to go shooting with me and so I've kind of made it into a game of sorts with her. If she wants to shoot, she has to also clean the gun afterwards. The first few times we went shooting together; her, Anthony and I, I had Anthony clean the gun after each of them shot about 30 rounds. This was because Anthony was supposed to be taking the CCDW class and I wanted him to know the weapon inside and out! After that outing, I've been having break down and clean the gun herself so she'll know how to do it after she shoots it. She keeps wanting to shoot the SIG's because they shoot smoother and they're a heck of alot simplier to break down and clean afterwards than the Ruger. *LOL* The same reason Anthony wants to use the SIG to take his CCDW class, whenever he decided to take it.

    But at the end of the day, she knows that if I'm with her, she has nothing to fear, when STHF, I'm a great "cleaner"! *LOL* And if I happen to not be with her, she now knows how to properly handle and shoot the guns.
    Got SIG? MOLON LABE

  15. #15
    Regular Member neuroblades's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    , Kentucky, USA
    Posts
    1,240
    Quote Originally Posted by hermannr View Post
    You need to sit down and talk it out, find out where the problem is, then give her some good reasons why it is in her best interest that you carry. Might even might want to OC outside the home too. She has to learn that guns are not dangerous and cannot hurt her if handled properly.

    Time to find out why (the real reason may be difficult to get to). I read about one gal that was terrified by loud noises (even thunder). She's a cop now...She used pistol shooting to get over her phodia. You might want to read this too:

    http://jpfo.org/filegen-n-z/ragingag...elfdefense.htm

    I have one SIL that is an anti. He twitches and squirms when we all go out to dinner, but has learned to keep his mouth shut. He has also learned that even if he is footing the bill, the restaurant will allow OC, or my wife and I will not go with them. Funny thing, this anti SIL has a teenage daughter that loves to shoot with old grandpa.
    That was a very interesting article.
    Got SIG? MOLON LABE

  16. #16
    Activist Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Ashland, KY
    Posts
    1,847
    Quote Originally Posted by 09jisaac View Post
    Id be pissed too. What exactly did (s)he say when you confronted him/her on it?
    she tried saying she didn't say what my daughter told me; That she simply said she didn't like guns and didn't think people should CARRY them. She is an aid in my lil girls class, so of course I spoke with her actual teacher and expressed my disgust about the aid 1) telling my daughter what she did and 2) calling my lil girl a liar. Her teacher is a very kind woman and is married to a man who also loves firearms. She apologized for the aid's actions and assured it will not happen again. I stayed respectful with the aid and just listened to what she had to say. I did not want my 4 YEAR OLD treated differently for telling me what she did.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •