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How to defend against a home invasion in DC...

Eeyore

Regular Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2007
Messages
551
Location
the meanest city in the stupidest state
This gives me an idea

Hmmm. Instead of an empty holster protest, maybe it's time for a hobby horse protest. A "Million Hobby Horse March," if you will. Certainly much more noticeable than an empty holster, and bound to invite more questions.

"Why are we all carrying hobby horses? Because hobby horses are the only effective means of self defense that DC allows us to carry outside the home!"
 

Citizen

Founder's Club Member
Joined
Nov 15, 2006
Messages
18,269
Location
Fairfax Co., VA
Hmmm. Instead of an empty holster protest, maybe it's time for a hobby horse protest. A "Million Hobby Horse March," if you will. Certainly much more noticeable than an empty holster, and bound to invite more questions.

"Why are we all carrying hobby horses? Because hobby horses are the only effective means of self defense that DC allows us to carry outside the home!"

Yesssss!

But wait! How do we know you are properly trained to employ your hobby horse? Have you taken the required number of hours instruction by an approved instructor? Is there a big, scary pistol grip on your hobby horse? Is it a high-capacity hobby horse? Is your hobby horse two-tone?

Please fill out the application and attach the processing fee. We'll get back to you after we finish bleeding commuters with speed cameras.
 

cloudcroft

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Jan 13, 2007
Messages
1,908
Location
El Paso, TX (formerly Colorado Springs, CO)
"How to defend against a home invasion in DC..."


Sounds like it's time to post this again: You respond by performing the SNiVeL maneuver as outlined below:


Step 1: "S" is for Safe - Assume a safe, fetal position, preferably under a table or other cover.

Step 2: "N" & "V" are for Non-Violent - Remember, remain non-violent. Moves that could be interpreted as 'self-defense' may only serve to further provoke your assailant. Offer no resistance.

Step 3: "L" is for Limp - Remain limp while begging and groveling for your life! This is no time for pride or courage, so cry like a girl, you fool! This will always serve you better than a firearm, which would only inject more violence into the situation. Finally, stay limp until your assailant has finished beating you like a rented mule. He will eventually tire from pummeling you mercilessly and choose to move on to a more entertaining endeavor, such as beating your spouse and/or children.

After the attack, you can evaluate how well this proven technique worked for you.



-- Author unknown but may have originated at the calguns.net website.
 
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