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Thread: YOU MIGHT BE A GUN NUT…… (Humour)

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    Regular Member neuroblades's Avatar
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    Cool YOU MIGHT BE A GUN NUT…… (Humour)

    YOU MIGHT BE A GUN NUT……

    -If You've ever dabbed a little HOPPE's on your neck before going on a date...
    -If you bought checkering tools, checkered all your gunstocks and are now starting on the bedposts...
    -If you cannot really recall just how many guns you own...
    -Surplus ammunition suppliers call you to see if there was anything you were looking for...
    -If you bought a gun from a gunshop, only to realize you used to own it years ago...
    -If you've ever shot out a 1911 barrel.........
    -If you save brass and have a case tumbler, but don't reload...
    -If you ever stripped the paint off of your car and then blued it
    -If you've ever bought ammo for a caliber you didn,t shoot, thinking that someday you might own a gun in that caliber...
    -If your computer passwords are gun related...
    -If your five-year-old can detail strip and fully reassemble an M-1 Garand............
    -If you take your guns out of the safe and handle them, just so you can wipe them down before going to bed...
    -If your local gunsmith calls you for obsolete parts...
    -If you home-school and use ballistic tables for math lessons...
    -If your gun safe is bigger than your refrigerator...
    -If the speedometer on your car is in both m.p.h. and fps...
    -If you call Brownells and they recognize your voice...
    -If you own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot...
    -If you understand Smith and Wesson's model numbers...
    -If you ever bought two different brands of the same bullet just to see which one "shot better"...
    -If watching the Lion King gives you the itch for a .470 Nitro...
    -If you cut out your best groups and carry them in your wallet like photos...
    -If you've ever gone to a gun show three times in one month, and were excited every time...
    -If you feel that a golf course is a willful and deliberate misuse of a perfectly good rifle range...
    -If you ever accidentally seasoned a steak with FFFFg black powder...
    -If your brass tumbler used to be a small cement mixers.
    -If you identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's Blue Press before you notice the girl...
    -If you make $30/hr at work and spent 35 min- on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of .40 brass...
    -If you have guns in your safes that you can't for the life of you remember how you came by...
    -If the FBI asks you to identify firearms they can't...
    -If ammo manufacturers had to layoff workers when you went to Europe for a month's vacation...
    -If you know the range of every tree in the neighborhood...
    -if you can tell the caliber of any spent casing just by feel...
    -If you plead with the gun shop to hold a rifle/shotgun until you have space for it...
    -If you can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when you say "Bushmaster"...
    -If you didn't get that last one because you don't have any "non-shooting" friends...
    -If you driver's license says "must wear night vision goggles."
    -If your shoulder is callused...
    -If manufactures ask you how their rifles hold up.
    -If you get misty eyed evey time you sell a gun..
    -If you alternate Silvertips, Hydra-Shoks and Black Talons in your magazines because they look prettier that way..........
    -If you guess windage and range every time you look at a road sign...
    -If you went out to the range this weekend to shoot up ammo, just so you'd have some brass to reload...
    -RCBS answers your phone calls, "What have YOU dreamed up this time?"..............
    -if you can name the parts of your post-ban rifle you had to (or want to) swap out to make a legal semi auto AW
    -if someone asks about the president and you think they're talking about charlton heston
    -if you know the model numbers of your glocks, how many and what size mags you have, and which are loaded, but have no idea when your anniversary is.
    -if you've ever had to explain why you need armor piercing rounds to someone
    -if you don't know that there is a difference between "the Internet" and "Glock Talk"
    -if you have ever run out of gas in your car, but have never run out of ammo before
    -if you know the serial numbers of your guns, but still get your kids' names mixed up.
    -if you hold a firearms related record in Guiness book of world records.
    -if you go to gun shows with a grocery buggy (painted camo of course)
    -if you had to explain to someone what a "SHTF scenerio" is
    -if you had a gun rack on your bike when you were a kid
    -if you know why 30-06 is pronounced "thirty alt six"
    -if you buy all of your clothes at wal-mart but own some of the most expensive holsters known to man
    -if your name is on California's AW ban
    -if you walk up on a conversation about horses and as soon as you hear "colt", you are immediately interested.
    -if your favorite saint is John Moses Browning.
    -if your favorite paint color is "gun metal grey".
    -if you break off on a dissertation on how badly congress screwed Bill Ruger.
    -if you anticipate another shooting session while you are putting your guns away at the range.
    -if you look at Shotgun News the way teenagers look at playboy
    -if every street sign within 5 miles of your house looks like it came from chechnya
    -if you went to college, but owned more gun manuals than text books
    -if the national guard armory has your phone number on "call block" because you keep making bids on their WWII artillary piece sitting out front
    -if you carry a backup gun in case the backup for your backup fails.
    -if you carry concealed at the beach
    -if third world arms dealers consider you to be the largest gun runner in the world (but you keep all the stuff for yourself)
    -if you were arrested/questioned about the sniper shootings
    -if you've filled out more "yellow forms" than income tax forms
    -if you have your own VIP parking spot at gun shows.
    -if you hear someone say "it's about 9:45" and you think to yourself "good grief, the 9mm/.45 debate will never end!"
    -if you sit through a violent movie and aren't bothered by gorey violence, but flinch when someone drops a firearm (might scratch it)
    -if you have been banned from a movie theater because you always stand up in the middle of the movie and tell everyone you can't fire 30 rounds from a revolver without reloading.
    -if you ever took apart your Nintendo zapper and installed custom trigger,laser sight, scope, etc. for Duck Hunt
    -if you have more firearms than friends
    -if you have insurance covering your guns, but not you
    -if Hillary Clinton makes your skin crawl.
    -if you slide your paddle holster on to check your mail.
    -if you slide your paddle holster on to take out the garbage.
    -if you find yourself rapidly disassembling/re-assembling your handgun....in the dark.....on the toilet.
    -if you drive to work with a $1500 Kimber in a $500 pick-up.
    -if your guns are named names usually reserved for people
    -if you designed your own caliber and built a firearm to fire it
    -if you grew up with loaded guns all around you, but it never crossed your mind to shoot up your school.
    -if you've read the Constitution
    -if you know the second amendment by heart
    -if you know the second amendment translated into more than 3 languages
    -if you used to have a hill as a backstop, but now it has become a 30 foot high mound of pure lead.
    -if you make your own reloading tools
    -if you make your own powder
    -if you don't label your reloading powder, because you can hear the difference when shaking the can
    -if you have ever read an article in the crime section of the newspaper and read "the suspect had over 200 rounds of ammunition", then assumed it was a misprint. who in his right mind would get down to only 200 rounds???
    -if your CCW is a shotgun
    -if your CCW is a .50
    -if your CCW is a LAW
    - if you find yourself doing trigger and muzzle control on the bottle of your wife's glass cleaner
    - if your girlfriend/wife is jealous of the time you spend with your guns
    - if your wishlist on midwayusa totals up to the price of a new car
    - if that new car would be a Bentley
    - if your already thinking about your next gun while your filling out the paperwork on the one you're buying.
    - if the guys at the local gun shop send you a christmas card
    - if you own a guns you haven't shot yet
    - if you have a room in your house dedicated to guns
    - if when someone says "but what if you don't have a gun with you?" and after 15 minutes you still can comprehend how that would be possible.
    - if the sound of full auto gun fire makes you feel all warm and fuzzy
    -if you shook the presents under your tree, and one fired a round out of it.
    -if you've spent more money at Midway USA, Brownell's, and Cabela's than the companies are worth.
    -if your will specifies your favorite firearm(s) to be buried with you.
    -if the glock talk logo is burned into your computer monitor.
    -if you have had a friend who thought knives were soooo cool and dangerous, then you showed him your AK-47 collection
    -if you wonder why you must renew your CCW license every year, but your marriage license won't expire.
    -if someone asks how many guns you have, and the answer begins with "about" (i.e. "about 50 or so").
    -if you took an ink blot test, and your answers were things like "an AR-15 sear", "bolt release from ruger 10-22", "firing pin from M1911", etc.
    -if you know you carry 45 caliber 230 grain full metal jacketed hydra-shock hollow points from Federal, but don't know the color of your wife's eyes.
    -if you have ever shot a hole in something by accident
    -if that something was your TV during a Bush/Gore debate
    -if you buy HOPPE's solvent in 50 gallon drums because your howitzer "likes" it
    -if the gun show owners let you in free.
    -if you named a dog after a gun.
    -if you name your kids after your guns.
    -if you time yourself each time you fill out one of those yellow forms, and you're down to a minute flat.
    -if NICS put your favorite gun dealer on call block.
    -if you're only dating/marrying a girl so you can shoot her gun collection.
    -if the wallpaper on your desktop is firearm related
    -if the wallpaper in a room of your house is firearm related
    -if you have no wallpaper or house, but live in a dug-out underground bunker to keep your guns safe
    -if CNN does a report on gun control and shows a table of guns from a gun show, and one of them has your name engraved on the side.
    -if you carry pictures of your guns in your wallet
    -if you ever heard gun shots outside your house late at night, but fell into a state of sheer panic because you couldn't decide which gun to grab.
    -if your favorites in the computer only have one folder, "guns."

    I found this on USA Carry! *LOL*
    Got SIG? MOLON LABE

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    Regular Member Comm's Avatar
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    -If you've ever bought ammo for a caliber you didn,t shoot, thinking that someday you might own a gun in that caliber...

    Yep, bought some .270 ammo... and didn't have the rifle... but I do now!

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    Regular Member 09jisaac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by neuroblades View Post
    YOU MIGHT BE A GUN NUT……
    -if you know you carry 45 caliber 230 grain full metal jacketed hydra-shock hollow points from Federal, but don't know the color of your wife's eyes.
    Wut?

    Quote Originally Posted by Comm View Post
    Yep, bought some .270 ammo... and didn't have the rifle... but I do now!
    Nothing wrong with that. the .270 is a very good and popular rifle round. The chances of you getting into a situation to use one is likely. Like in your case buying a rifle chambered in it or just out shooting with a friend with one.
    No man alive can beat me in a fair fight: It's not fair to chase a man down and beat him.

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    Regular Member DrakeZ07's Avatar
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    Does it count if I recently bought a box of .380's because I forgot I sold the pistol for it to a friend two years ago?
    I'm a proud openly gay open carrier~
    Trained SKYWARN spotter, and veteran Storm Chaser.
    =^.^= ~<3~ =^.^=
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    Regular Member neuroblades's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrakeZ07 View Post
    Does it count if I recently bought a box of .380's because I forgot I sold the pistol for it to a friend two years ago?
    Yeah, that would count also, Drake. *LOL*
    Got SIG? MOLON LABE

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    Regular Member NG19's Avatar
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    If you are cleaning the house and find a gun that you put away as a back up and forgot you had it and bought another one to go with the ammo for the lost gun. i.e. my brother.
    If you pull it, you use it. If you pull it and you don't use it, you've done some thing wrong and you might not get another chance. Think about it before you pack it!

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    Regular Member DrakeZ07's Avatar
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    Hmm, how about; If you use a 12 gauge single-barrel shotgun, and have plenty of ammo with it, to dig a hole for a new mail box... I kid you not, that one goes to my brother, who I often wonder, if he's just really stupid, or just really ingenious.
    I'm a proud openly gay open carrier~
    Trained SKYWARN spotter, and veteran Storm Chaser.
    =^.^= ~<3~ =^.^=
    Beware the Pink Camo clad gay redneck.

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    Regular Member TechnoWeenie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrakeZ07 View Post
    Hmm, how about; If you use a 12 gauge single-barrel shotgun, and have plenty of ammo with it, to dig a hole for a new mail box... I kid you not, that one goes to my brother, who I often wonder, if he's just really stupid, or just really ingenious.
    I was raised with the saying 'work smarter, not harder'......
    Evangelical lessons are provided upon request. Anyone wishing to meet Jesus can just kick in my door.

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    I guess I am a gun nut. Oh, and guess what MSNBC, CNN, etc., I've never shot anyone because I went on a psycho gun nut rage!!

    I do believe this part needs a little work:
    -if you know you carry 45 caliber 230 grain full metal jacketed hydra-shock hollow points from Federal, but don't know the color of your wife's eyes.
    "I never in my life seen a Kentuckian without a gun..."-Andrew Jackson

    "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ruined."-Patrick Henry; speaking of protecting the rights of an armed citizenry.

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    Regular Member 09jisaac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KYGlockster View Post
    I do believe this part needs a little work:
    -if you know you carry 45 caliber 230 grain full metal jacketed hydra-shock hollow points from Federal, but don't know the color of your wife's eyes.
    Yea, they're green..... er.... brown. Maybe they're brown.
    No man alive can beat me in a fair fight: It's not fair to chase a man down and beat him.

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    Regular Member Dreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Comm View Post
    -If you've ever bought ammo for a caliber you didn,t shoot, thinking that someday you might own a gun in that caliber... !
    I still have several hundred rounds of 10mm, from when I used to own a Delta Elite. I sold the gun about 10 years ago, but have kept hold of the ammo because I fully intend on owning another 10mm sometime in the future...
    Last edited by Dreamer; 04-28-2012 at 09:42 PM.
    It is our cause to dispel the foggy thinking which avoids hard decisions in the delusion that a world of conflict will somehow mysteriously resolve itself into a world of harmony, if we just don't rock the boat or irritate the forces of aggression—and this is hogwash."
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    Regular Member J_Oliver's Avatar
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    I'm guilty of atleast a quarter of these... all I own is 9mils, yet I have a case of .45acp cause it was a great deal at a gun show (the third one I went to that month) AND so id have it for my first 1911 purchase... my son can field strip and clean all the guns I own, I have read magazines with hot girls in them and failed to notice the women for the custom firearms they're holding... etc...

    And yet, as a gun nut, I've yet to viciously murder anyone... i'd feel safer around most LAC gun owners, than being in a crowd of unarmed sheeples...

    Sent from my DROID2 using Tapatalk
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    Quote Originally Posted by neuroblades View Post
    YOU MIGHT BE A GUN NUT……

    -if you know you carry 45 caliber 230 grain full metal jacketed hydra-shock hollow points from Federal, but don't know the color of your wife's eyes.
    Ridiculous. Anyone could see that her eyes are a 5 to 1 mix of Duracoat Bengal Brown and Black Oxide, with flecks of German Flecktarn Dark Green. Duh.
    Last edited by SavageOne; 04-28-2012 at 10:32 PM.
    AUDE VIDE TACE

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    Regular Member altajava's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KYGlockster View Post

    I do believe this part needs a little work:
    -if you know you carry 45 caliber 230 grain full metal jacketed hydra-shock hollow points from Federal, but don't know the color of your wife's eyes.
    Quote Originally Posted by 09jisaac View Post
    Yea, they're green..... er.... brown. Maybe they're brown.
    I think he ment the full metal jacket hollow points.

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    Regular Member 09jisaac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by altajava View Post
    I think he ment the full metal jacket hollow points.
    I noticed. I was the 1st one to comment on it (post 3).
    No man alive can beat me in a fair fight: It's not fair to chase a man down and beat him.

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    Regular Member hermannr's Avatar
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    My problem is I have some 25-20, and some 16 ga shot shells, and I'll probably never see another weapon available to shoot them.

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    Regular Member FireStar M40's Avatar
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    Then Of Course There's Girls and Guns..

    You might be a gun nut if....

    When you check out females you see them more in gun caliber terms than otherwise.

    38's.. small but easy to handle.

    40's.. quite a handful, but with a little practice most guys are up to the job.

    44's.. if you're going to go B I G, you might as well have fun doing it!!

    FireStar M40
    Why you never pick a fight with a old man.

    Seeing they're too old and tired to fight,

    they'll just shoot your butt instead.

    I'm a "OLD MAN"!

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    Regular Member TechnoWeenie's Avatar
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    Evangelical lessons are provided upon request. Anyone wishing to meet Jesus can just kick in my door.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SavageOne View Post
    Ridiculous. Anyone could see that her eyes are a 5 to 1 mix of Duracoat Bengal Brown and Black Oxide, with flecks of German Flecktarn Dark Green. Duh.
    LOL, that would be totally romantic if you could put that on a Valentines/Mother's Day/birthday card!

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    Campaign Veteran MSG Laigaie's Avatar
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    I have 1250 rounds of 7.62x25. I do not own a weapon in that calibre, but eventually I guess. I have a bunch of colt GI .45 mags. No weapon. Still thinking about a 45, but its been thirty years since I have had one. Go figure
    "Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself. They are the people's liberty teeth (and) keystone... the rifle and the pistol are equally indispensable... more than 99% of them by their silence indicate that they are in safe and sane hands. The very atmosphere of firearms everywhere restrains evil interference .When firearms go, all goes, we need them every hour." -- George Washington

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    Regular Member 1245A Defender's Avatar
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    well,,,

    I have about 2500 rds of 7.62X25
    A YUGO M-57
    A CZ-52
    not for sale
    I could use more ammo,,, if you want to deal, let me know...
    EMNofSeattle wrote: Your idea of freedom terrifies me. So you are actually right. I am perfectly happy with what you call tyranny.....

    “If ever a time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin.”

    Stand up for your Rights,, They have no authority on their own...

    All power is inherent in the people,
    it is their right and duty to be at all times ARMED!

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    Regular Member zoom6zoom's Avatar
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    ...if you never even consider buying ammo in quantities less than a case.

    And it would take too long to count what you already have.

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    You might be a gun nut……

    Your wife coyly suggests she'd like you to get her something in black leather for your anniversary, so you get her a holster.

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    Quote Originally Posted by markand View Post
    Your wife coyly suggests she'd like you to get her something in black leather for your anniversary, so you get her a holster.
    What else would it be? A belt?
    Don't believe any facts that I say! This is the internet and it is filled with lies and untruth. I invite you to look up for yourself the basic facts that my arguments might be based upon. This way we can have a discussion where logic and hints on where to find information are what is brought to the forum and people look up and verify facts for themselves.

  25. #25
    Regular Member 09jisaac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daylen View Post
    What else would it be? A belt?
    A Limousine.
    No man alive can beat me in a fair fight: It's not fair to chase a man down and beat him.

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