@ op since you are scared of old ladies.
while you are free make sure someone on the outside loves you enough to keep you supplied with smokes, lube, condoms and other sundrie items after you are incarcerated.
learn to enjoy wearing dresses and taking a piss while seated
in prison you won't have a gun to help resolve the issues like crazy folks screaming at you etc....
bahahaha... you've got such a way with words, M.
we need to meet up for coffee or lunch or sumpin' soon. gotta catch up on some things.