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Thread: “Turn Tail and Run” Law Proposed

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  1. #1
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    “Turn Tail and Run” Law Proposed

    PLEASE MOVE TO The Social Lounge I miss the Editor's Note, and posted here by mistake.




    Submitted by cbaus on Fri, 05/04/2012 - 15:00.

    National Politics
    Gun Grabbers

    Editor's Note: We typically reserve our satirical posts for April Fool's Day, but this one is too good to pass up.

    by Evan F. Nappen

    Washington, D.C. - Senator Lousenburg (D. NJ) has filed the "Turn Tail and Run" (TTR) bill in the U.S. Senate which, if passed, would preempt ALL State "Stand Your Ground" (SYG) laws. The new bill would impose a national duty to retreat at all times when one encounters a criminal threat or is about to become a victim of violent crime. New York City Mayor Bloomingidiot has made passage of the "TTR" a centerpiece of his national "Second Chance at Shoot First" campaign. The mayor heartily approved of TTR, especially since bodyguards of celebrities, VIP’s, and political figures were exempted.

    When the President was asked about TTR at a recent press conference he expressed his eager support. He said "Great Britain has long banned self defense" and "Americans need to be brave, like Sir Robin." The President then quoted a passage from the classic British tale of Sir Robin:
    "Brave Sir Robin ran away. Bravely ran away, away. When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled. Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about. And gallantly he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet. He beat a very brave retreat. Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin!"

    He further pointed out four simple rules of how TTR would apply:

    1) You are criminally attacked, run away!
    2) You see others being criminally attacked, run away!
    3) You are threatened with violent crime, run away!
    4) You see others being threatened with violent crime, run away!

    The President illustrated these simple rules as follows, "So for example, if you are mugged in the street, attacked by a rapist, threatened with a deadly weapon, or confronted by a burglar in your home, be brave and run away! If you see others facing such threats, be brave and run away!"

    He further commented that TTR is a proud American tradition that helped us win our independence, "We, as Americans, need to remember the example set by Captain Parker at Lexington Green in 1775 when he bravely said to his fellow Minutemen, "Turn tail and run. Don't fire even if fired upon. If they mean to have a war, let it begin somewhere else."

    Attorney Evan Nappen, Esq. is the General Counsel and one of the five corporate Directors of Pro-Gun New Hampshire, Inc. (www.PGNH.org). He is President of E.F. Nappen Attorney at Law PC in Concord, New Hampshire, and is the author of the book New Hampshire Gun, Knife, and Weapon Law.

    http://www.buckeyefirearms.org/node/8330
    Last edited by zack991; 05-07-2012 at 04:37 PM.
    -I come in peace, I didn't bring artillery. But I am pleading with you with tears in my eyes: If you screw with me, I'll kill you all.
    -Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.
    Marine General James Mattis,

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    Regular Member LkWd_Don's Avatar
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    After searching at the Library of Congress http://thomas.loc.gov/home/thomas.php for any such bills proposed or otherwise and finding none, I will ask that you post something that proves such a law is even being proposed.

    EDIT: I just realized that even in the opening line it says "We typically reserve our satirical posts for April Fool's Day" it is a joke.. Satirical Ok.. the joke is on me..
    Last edited by LkWd_Don; 05-07-2012 at 04:21 PM.
    Lets Unite and REMIND our Government that WE are the source of their authority and that WE demand our Rights be returned, Unabridged, Non-infringed, without denial or disparagement. The faults of a few, reflect badly on many, I will not Support WAC H&K USP .40

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    Regular Member CharleyCherokee's Avatar
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    Nevermind. :P
    Last edited by CharleyCherokee; 05-07-2012 at 04:24 PM.
    A bullet may have your name on it, but shrapnel is addressed to whom it may concern.
    Why open carrying is a good idea: http://forum.pafoa.org/open-carry-14...encounter.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by LkWd_Don View Post
    After searching at the Library of Congress http://thomas.loc.gov/home/thomas.php for any such bills proposed or otherwise and finding none, I will ask that you post something that proves such a law is even being proposed.

    EDIT: I just realized that even in the opening line it says "We typically reserve our satirical posts for April Fool's Day" it is a joke.. Satirical Ok.. the joke is on me..
    Don't feel bad I felt like a bigger idiot when I quickly skimmed it and posted it. I miss it too, I did not think twice about it since it was on buckeyefirearms.org front page with other factual gun stories. Hence why it is here and not in the proper area.
    Last edited by zack991; 05-07-2012 at 04:34 PM.
    -I come in peace, I didn't bring artillery. But I am pleading with you with tears in my eyes: If you screw with me, I'll kill you all.
    -Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.
    Marine General James Mattis,

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    Regular Member LkWd_Don's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zack991 View Post
    Don't feel bad I felt like a bigger idiot when I quickly skimmed it and I miss it too, I did not think twice about it since it was buckeyefirearms.org front page with other factual gun stories. Sad part is I know gun grabbers would do something like this if they could.
    I wasn't expecting such a joke to be in a thread outside of the Off-Topic/Humor area. But, I am big enough to admit when a joke is on me..
    Lets Unite and REMIND our Government that WE are the source of their authority and that WE demand our Rights be returned, Unabridged, Non-infringed, without denial or disparagement. The faults of a few, reflect badly on many, I will not Support WAC H&K USP .40

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    Quote Originally Posted by LkWd_Don View Post
    I wasn't expecting such a joke to be in a thread outside of the Off-Topic/Humor area. But, I am big enough to admit when a joke is on me..
    I just feel bad I did not catch it as a joke before I posted it, I was going through the news stories on the front page and the story was there, I did not think twice about it.
    -I come in peace, I didn't bring artillery. But I am pleading with you with tears in my eyes: If you screw with me, I'll kill you all.
    -Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.
    Marine General James Mattis,

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    The Communist party is alive and well in the United States today! They call themselves DEMOCRATS!

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