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Thread: Just witnessed an amusing, Self-inflicted gunshot during "defense" against...

  1. #1
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    Just witnessed an amusing, Self-inflicted gunshot during "defense" against...

    A Canadian goose... (insert faceplam of your choice, here).
    Stepped outside my office building a moment ago to have a smoke.
    This building happens to be in one of the worst parts of town. Lots of "gangsta" wannabes wandering about, etc.
    Such as this chap, today.
    All the "typical" markers- pants half-off his asss =check. Hat sideways=check=gold teeth and chains everywhere=check. "street-strut" while rapping to himself at the top of his lungs=check.
    OG finds himself passing a retention pond across from my building, on the sidewalk.
    Said pond, and sidewalk is inhabbited by a bunch of Geese, and their newly-hatched Gosslings.
    One of which -Geese, that is- quacks at him, and flaps it's wings at him, as he passes.
    O.G. freaks out, (high probability of having soiled his boxers) reaches into the lowered waistband of his pants, and attempts to draw a pistol (not idea what type/caliber from the distance of my vantage point).
    During the course of his attempted quick-draw against that deadly Goose, the gun goes off.
    BAM!

    Next thing you know, O.G. is on the ground bleeding all over the sidewalk, and screaming like a little girl. Im inclined to think he may well have eliminated his chances for producing offspring, but do not know this for certain.

    What a freakin' moron. lol.
    Last edited by j4l; 05-20-2012 at 02:25 PM.

  2. #2
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    Question

    This happened today? What town? What time?
    Total ignorance: an Obama supporter's stock in trade
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    Jax Florida. Maybe 45 min or so ago.
    Wont likely be in any news stories- entirely too common around here, and not quiet dramatic enough.
    (only such tales likely to make news in this part of town, are when a kid gets killed, or if a white guy does the killing.)

  4. #4
    Regular Member Dreamer's Avatar
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    You should have been video recording it on your phone. Poaching geese out of season without a Federal Migratory Birds stamp is a FELONY, even if you are NOT successful. You could have sent this guy to the Big House on a Federal Waterfowl Hunting violation.

    Imagine that conversation: "So what are you in for, man?"

    "Uh, I tried to shoot a goose in an office park... "

    "Yeah, well you sure got a pretty mouth, there G..."
    It is our cause to dispel the foggy thinking which avoids hard decisions in the delusion that a world of conflict will somehow mysteriously resolve itself into a world of harmony, if we just don't rock the boat or irritate the forces of aggression—and this is hogwash."
    --Barry Goldwater, 1964

  5. #5
    Regular Member hjmoosejaw's Avatar
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    Apparently the goose didn't know that the pond was on G's turf. Maybe they should get the flock out of there before G's peeps come back to retaliate. It had to have been the goose's fault. Poor little gangsta.
    watch your top knot !

  6. #6
    Campaign Veteran skidmark's Avatar
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    Let us do keep our eyes open - this fella just might make the Darwin Awards. Depending on just exactly where he shot himself.

    But even if he does not make it to the finals, his antic has warmed the remaining cockle of the fraction of a heart that I posses.

    stay safe.
    "He'll regret it to his dying day....if ever he lives that long."----The Quiet Man

    Because stupidity isn't a race, and everybody can win.

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    Haha, I wanna hear the conversation between him and his buddies on how he got that injury! I'm sure he'll come up with a great story.

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    Regular Member SFCRetired's Avatar
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    Does it make me a completely evil old man that I laughed my butt off at this story? Not to mention laughing hysterically at the imagined injury site?

    As far as heart goes: When I made Staff Sergeant, my commander asked me if I had a heart. When I said, "Yes", he said, "Give it here, you're not authorized one any more!!"

    What is more interesting is the fact that he was carrying concealed, most probably illegally, and much is made of us who carry openly.

    Have there been any stories of open carriers doing something this idiotic?

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    Dumb-$$, even if he was attacked by a goose all he had to do was keep walking. I hope it hurts a ton tonight, teach him a lesson.

  10. #10
    Regular Member paramedic70002's Avatar
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    "Getting goosed" will forever mean something entirely different for this fella.
    "Each worker carried his sword strapped to his side." Nehemiah 4:18

    Guns Save Lives. Paramedics Save Lives. But...
    Paramedics With Guns Scare People!

  11. #11
    Campaign Veteran skidmark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SFCRetired View Post
    Does it make me a completely evil old man that I laughed my butt off at this story? Not to mention laughing hysterically at the imagined injury site?

    ....
    No. It would take spreading the story around to not only everybody you know who carries, but to everybody you know that has a firearm, has seen a firearm, or knows what a firearm is. And then to the rest of the world.

    And then I'm still not sure it would make you a completely evil old man.

    stay safe.
    "He'll regret it to his dying day....if ever he lives that long."----The Quiet Man

    Because stupidity isn't a race, and everybody can win.

    "No matter how much contempt you have for the media in all this, you don't have enough"
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  12. #12
    Regular Member WOD's Avatar
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    Heh, too funny.... I know geese can be mean suckers, especially this time of year. But, really?
    Be safe, be prepared, and carry on!

    Alle Ihre Basisstation jetzt zu uns gehören

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by SFCRetired View Post
    Does it make me a completely evil old man that I laughed my butt off at this story? Not to mention laughing hysterically at the imagined injury site?

    As far as heart goes: When I made Staff Sergeant, my commander asked me if I had a heart. When I said, "Yes", he said, "Give it here, you're not authorized one any more!!"

    What is more interesting is the fact that he was carrying concealed, most probably illegally, and much is made of us who carry openly.

    Have there been any stories of open carriers doing something this idiotic?
    No more evil than I was, busting out laughing at the guy so hard I nearly wet my pants. Then finishing my smoke while I watched him squirm and scream lol

  14. #14
    Regular Member gunns's Avatar
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    I am laughing so hard I had to remove my gun, scared it might go off in my pants lol. Oh that comment doesn't sound right either does it? LOL

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    Regular Member SFCRetired's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamer View Post
    You should have been video recording it on your phone. Poaching geese out of season without a Federal Migratory Birds stamp is a FELONY, even if you are NOT successful. You could have sent this guy to the Big House on a Federal Waterfowl Hunting violation.

    Imagine that conversation: "So what are you in for, man?"

    "Uh, I tried to shoot a goose in an office park... "

    "Yeah, well you sure got a pretty mouth, there G..."
    In this case, it may not have been a felony, just a misdeweiner!!

    Yes, I am an Evil Old Man.

  16. #16
    Campaign Veteran MSG Laigaie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SFCRetired View Post
    In this case, it may not have been a felony, just a misdeweiner!!
    I like this, very funny SFC R
    "Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself. They are the people's liberty teeth (and) keystone... the rifle and the pistol are equally indispensable... more than 99% of them by their silence indicate that they are in safe and sane hands. The very atmosphere of firearms everywhere restrains evil interference .When firearms go, all goes, we need them every hour." -- George Washington

  17. #17
    Regular Member mtlhdtodd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SFCRetired View Post
    In this case, it may not have been a felony, just a misdeweiner!!

    Yes, I am an Evil Old Man.
    Now that's funny right there!!!

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtlhdtodd View Post
    Now that's funny right there!!!
    lol.

    I've never been a terribly sympathetic sort, and I've certainly rarely been called "sensitive" to others... evil?....perhaps a bit lol

  19. #19
    Anti-Saldana Freedom Fighter Venator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamer View Post
    You should have been video recording it on your phone. Poaching geese out of season without a Federal Migratory Birds stamp is a FELONY, even if you are NOT successful. You could have sent this guy to the Big House on a Federal Waterfowl Hunting violation.

    Imagine that conversation: "So what are you in for, man?"

    "Uh, I tried to shoot a goose in an office park... "

    "Yeah, well you sure got a pretty mouth, there G..."
    Can I poach them out of season with the stamp? I have the stamp and didn't know this.
    An Amazon best seller "MY PARENTS OPEN CARRY" http://www.myparentsopencarry.com/

    *The information contained above is not meant to be legal advice, but is solely intended as a starting point for further research. These are my opinions, if you have further questions it is advisable to seek out an attorney that is well versed in firearm law.

  20. #20
    Regular Member MKEgal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paramedic70002
    "Getting goosed" will forever mean something entirely different for this fella.

    And every time I see a goose defending its territory, I'll be picturing some ghetto gangster shooting his bleep off.
    City kids... meh.
    (Yeah, I was raised a city kid, but not that bad of one!)

    Quote Originally Posted by SFCRetired
    Does it make me a completely evil old man that I laughed my butt off at this story?
    I hope not, 'cause I'm sitting in the computer lab at school trying not to get shushed again & I don't think of myself as particularly evil, nor am I old, and I'm definitely not male.

    What a doofus.
    I'm surprised that someone who's probably done the monkey dance many times himself didn't recognize the territory-defending posturing from another species.

    So... did an ambulance ever show up, or did he limp away on his own?

  21. #21
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    LMAO... This is just priceless. I used to live out that way and there are a ton of those wannabes walking around like idiots. I would of loved to of seen something like this happen. Wonder if the guy will be charged with anything?

  22. #22
    Regular Member acmariner99's Avatar
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    Here's your sign

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    a little late on the response.. but this just made my day.. my week... hell maybe even my year!

    and BOOMcat - maybe wanten endangerment of the goose!
    Last edited by kywildcat581; 05-28-2012 at 10:16 PM.

  24. #24
    Regular Member WalkingWolf's Avatar
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    Was the goose "white-hispanic"?

  25. #25
    Regular Member DocWalker's Avatar
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    One can only hope he gave himself a high velocity vasectomy. This person would do the world a favor by not reproducing.

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