• We are now running on a new, and hopefully much-improved, server. In addition we are also on new forum software. Any move entails a lot of technical details and I suspect we will encounter a few issues as the new server goes live. Please be patient with us. It will be worth it! :) Please help by posting all issues here.
  • The forum will be down for about an hour this weekend for maintenance. I apologize for the inconvenience.
  • If you are having trouble seeing the forum then you may need to clear your browser's DNS cache. Click here for instructions on how to do that
  • Please review the Forum Rules frequently as we are constantly trying to improve the forum for our members and visitors.

Just witnessed an amusing, Self-inflicted gunshot during "defense" against...

j4l

Regular Member
Joined
Jan 6, 2011
Messages
1,835
Location
fl
Just witnessed an amusing, Self-inflicted gunshot during "defense" against...

A Canadian goose... (insert faceplam of your choice, here).
Stepped outside my office building a moment ago to have a smoke.
This building happens to be in one of the worst parts of town. Lots of "gangsta" wannabes wandering about, etc.
Such as this chap, today.
All the "typical" markers- pants half-off his asss =check. Hat sideways=check=gold teeth and chains everywhere=check. "street-strut" while rapping to himself at the top of his lungs=check.
OG finds himself passing a retention pond across from my building, on the sidewalk.
Said pond, and sidewalk is inhabbited by a bunch of Geese, and their newly-hatched Gosslings.
One of which -Geese, that is- quacks at him, and flaps it's wings at him, as he passes.
O.G. freaks out, (high probability of having soiled his boxers) reaches into the lowered waistband of his pants, and attempts to draw a pistol (not idea what type/caliber from the distance of my vantage point).
During the course of his attempted quick-draw against that deadly Goose, the gun goes off.
BAM!

Next thing you know, O.G. is on the ground bleeding all over the sidewalk, and screaming like a little girl. Im inclined to think he may well have eliminated his chances for producing offspring, but do not know this for certain.

What a freakin' moron. lol.
 
Last edited:

j4l

Regular Member
Joined
Jan 6, 2011
Messages
1,835
Location
fl
Jax Florida. Maybe 45 min or so ago.
Wont likely be in any news stories- entirely too common around here, and not quiet dramatic enough.
(only such tales likely to make news in this part of town, are when a kid gets killed, or if a white guy does the killing.)
 

Dreamer

Regular Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2009
Messages
5,360
Location
Grennsboro NC
You should have been video recording it on your phone. Poaching geese out of season without a Federal Migratory Birds stamp is a FELONY, even if you are NOT successful. You could have sent this guy to the Big House on a Federal Waterfowl Hunting violation.

Imagine that conversation: "So what are you in for, man?"

"Uh, I tried to shoot a goose in an office park... "

"Yeah, well you sure got a pretty mouth, there G..."
 

hjmoosejaw

Regular Member
Joined
Mar 29, 2011
Messages
406
Location
N.W. Pa.
Apparently the goose didn't know that the pond was on G's turf. Maybe they should get the flock out of there before G's peeps come back to retaliate. It had to have been the goose's fault. Poor little gangsta.
 

skidmark

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Jan 15, 2007
Messages
10,444
Location
Valhalla
Let us do keep our eyes open - this fella just might make the Darwin Awards. Depending on just exactly where he shot himself.

But even if he does not make it to the finals, his antic has warmed the remaining cockle of the fraction of a heart that I posses.

stay safe.
 

PistolPackingMomma

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 1, 2011
Messages
1,884
Location
SC
Haha, I wanna hear the conversation between him and his buddies on how he got that injury! :lol: I'm sure he'll come up with a great story.
 

SFCRetired

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
1,764
Location
Montgomery, Alabama, USA
Does it make me a completely evil old man that I laughed my butt off at this story? Not to mention laughing hysterically at the imagined injury site?

As far as heart goes: When I made Staff Sergeant, my commander asked me if I had a heart. When I said, "Yes", he said, "Give it here, you're not authorized one any more!!"

What is more interesting is the fact that he was carrying concealed, most probably illegally, and much is made of us who carry openly.

Have there been any stories of open carriers doing something this idiotic?
 

MamabearCali

Regular Member
Joined
Feb 1, 2012
Messages
335
Location
Chesterfield
Dumb-$$, even if he was attacked by a goose all he had to do was keep walking. I hope it hurts a ton tonight, teach him a lesson.
 

skidmark

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Jan 15, 2007
Messages
10,444
Location
Valhalla
Does it make me a completely evil old man that I laughed my butt off at this story? Not to mention laughing hysterically at the imagined injury site?

....

No. It would take spreading the story around to not only everybody you know who carries, but to everybody you know that has a firearm, has seen a firearm, or knows what a firearm is. And then to the rest of the world.

And then I'm still not sure it would make you a completely evil old man.

stay safe.
 

WOD

Regular Member
Joined
Feb 13, 2012
Messages
224
Location
Onalaska WA
Heh, too funny.... I know geese can be mean suckers, especially this time of year. But, really?
 

j4l

Regular Member
Joined
Jan 6, 2011
Messages
1,835
Location
fl
Does it make me a completely evil old man that I laughed my butt off at this story? Not to mention laughing hysterically at the imagined injury site?

As far as heart goes: When I made Staff Sergeant, my commander asked me if I had a heart. When I said, "Yes", he said, "Give it here, you're not authorized one any more!!"

What is more interesting is the fact that he was carrying concealed, most probably illegally, and much is made of us who carry openly.

Have there been any stories of open carriers doing something this idiotic?

No more evil than I was, busting out laughing at the guy so hard I nearly wet my pants. Then finishing my smoke while I watched him squirm and scream lol
 

gunns

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 27, 2011
Messages
270
Location
Minnesota
I am laughing so hard I had to remove my gun, scared it might go off in my pants lol. Oh that comment doesn't sound right either does it? LOL
 

SFCRetired

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
1,764
Location
Montgomery, Alabama, USA
You should have been video recording it on your phone. Poaching geese out of season without a Federal Migratory Birds stamp is a FELONY, even if you are NOT successful. You could have sent this guy to the Big House on a Federal Waterfowl Hunting violation.

Imagine that conversation: "So what are you in for, man?"

"Uh, I tried to shoot a goose in an office park... "

"Yeah, well you sure got a pretty mouth, there G..."

In this case, it may not have been a felony, just a misdeweiner!! ;)

Yes, I am an Evil Old Man.
 

j4l

Regular Member
Joined
Jan 6, 2011
Messages
1,835
Location
fl
Now that's funny right there!!! :lol::lol::lol:

lol.

I've never been a terribly sympathetic sort, and I've certainly rarely been called "sensitive" to others... evil?....perhaps a bit lol
 

Venator

Anti-Saldana Freedom Fighter
Joined
Jan 10, 2007
Messages
6,462
Location
Lansing area, Michigan, USA
You should have been video recording it on your phone. Poaching geese out of season without a Federal Migratory Birds stamp is a FELONY, even if you are NOT successful. You could have sent this guy to the Big House on a Federal Waterfowl Hunting violation.

Imagine that conversation: "So what are you in for, man?"

"Uh, I tried to shoot a goose in an office park... "

"Yeah, well you sure got a pretty mouth, there G..."

Can I poach them out of season with the stamp? I have the stamp and didn't know this.
 

MKEgal

Regular Member
Joined
Jan 8, 2010
Messages
4,383
Location
in front of my computer, WI
paramedic70002 said:
"Getting goosed" will forever mean something entirely different for this fella.
:lol:
And every time I see a goose defending its territory, I'll be picturing some ghetto gangster shooting his bleep off.
City kids... meh.
(Yeah, I was raised a city kid, but not that bad of one!)

SFCRetired said:
Does it make me a completely evil old man that I laughed my butt off at this story?
I hope not, 'cause I'm sitting in the computer lab at school trying not to get shushed again & I don't think of myself as particularly evil, nor am I old, and I'm definitely not male.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: What a doofus.
I'm surprised that someone who's probably done the monkey dance many times himself didn't recognize the territory-defending posturing from another species.

So... did an ambulance ever show up, or did he limp away on his own?
 
Top