Just to be nitpicking about a very badly written law, but that could easily be considered brandishing under 18.2-282 http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp...0+cod+18.2-282 . Case law seems unsettled. ( http://www.virginia1774.org/Page5.html In spite of the disagreement with Morris http://www.courts.state.va.us/opinio...wp/1032714.pdf noted in Alexander above, there are still those that will try to bring the charge for actions lesser than actually holding the firearm in your hand and actually pointing it at someone in a menacing manner. (Go ahead, ask me how I know.)As I am walking too the door, she says "you are a liar, you are a liar" I turn around and tell the woman I would appreciate if you did not talk to me, I am not a liar, and try to proceed out. She looks at me and says "by the way I am not scared of your gun, I have one right here", and she pats her pocket in her pants. I ignore her.
The deadly Do Not Embarass Me/Yourself syndrome..... She gets really close again, uncomfortably, so I move again... ... and he [manager?] asks her to move away and she says no go over there. So he and I go to the other end of the counter, and he hands me the bag. He offers a frosty for my time, however, I just wanted to get out of there before the situation escalated, and said no thank you.
Deer in the headlights.I had no idea what she was going to do next. I just wanted to removed myself from that situation.
Protection against what? Protection by what?Needless to say it was not comfortable, but I was glad I had protection on me.
I broke your post down into parts not for the purpose of raking you over the coals but to use the narrative as an opportunity to illustrate a number of points. I guess the best place to start is explaining how being assertive is not the same as being aggressive. Then there is the whole frozen inaction mess. And the part about not recognizing the existence of a threat, or denying the level of the threat you do recognize.
There is a cultural basis for the sexist-sounding statement that females are conditioned not to be assertive and to believe that assertiveness is the same as aggression. Using body posture, "command voice" and body positioning are ways of expressing assertiveness, not of being aggressive. I'll not insult you by saying what you "should have" done instead - I'm pretty sure you have already worked that out in your own head.
The most impoetant thing I want to address is the belief that the handgun is a magic talisman. Northing that you describe would IMHO give you justification or excuse to use deadly force. Therefore the gun on your hip is as useful as a boat anchor in the desert.
I thank you for being willing to expose yourself by posting your experience. I thank you for the opportunity for others to use your experience as a "teaching moment".
In closing I am, deliberately, going to try to scare the daylights out of you as well as make you more afraid than you may ever before have been - how do you expect your kids to be able to say "No!" to some creep if you can't do it?