Thanks for the laugh!
Q: Why doesn't the Post Office produce stamps featuring the Colorado Rockies?
A: If they put the Rockies on a stamp, people wouldn't be able figure out which side to spit on.
Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Rockies fan?
A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!
Q: What is the difference between a Rockies fan and a pot hole?
A: I would swerve to avoid the pot hole!
Q: What song do Rockies fans sing before the at the 7th inning stretch?
A: Nobody knows. There's never any of them left.
Q: Whats the difference between the Colorado Rockies and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito eventually stops sucking.
Q: What do the Colorado Rockies and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
Q: What is the difference between a Rockies fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
Q: What do the Colorado Rockies and lawn furniture have in common?
A: They both fold and end up in the cellar after Labor Day!
Q: What do I have in common with the Colorado Rockies?
A: Come October, we'll both be watching the World Series on television.
Q: How many Colorado Rockies does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
Q: What do you call 40 millionaires around a TV watching the World Series?
A: The Colorado Rockies.
Q: How can you tell if a Rockies fan just sent you a fax?
A: There's a stamp on it!
Q: What does an Colorado Rockies fan do when his team has won the World Series?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: Why do Colorado Rockies fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: How do the Rockies spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights
Q: Why doesn't Pueblo have a professional baseball team?
A: Because then Denver would want one.
Q: Did you hear that the Colorado Rockies do not have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: After a Rockies game, what's the next thing you want?
A: A victim's advocate!!!
And finally, to maintain relevance to open carry.....
Why are firearms prohibited at Coors Field?
Because there is too high a risk that you'd want to shoot yourself by the end of the 3rd.
Why are citizens prohibited from open carry at Coors Field?
Because its embarassing when the only semblence of a defense is all in the stands!
Why hasn't there been an OC meet and greet at Coors Field?
Because they are not accustomed to hosting a group of people who can actually function as a team!
What's the difference between an LAC and a Rockies batter?
We can actually hit something.
Why did the Rockies hire Charlie Sheen to be their coach next year?
Thanks for the laugh!
One day your life is going to flash before your eyes, make it worth watching.
What do the Rockies, the Nuggets, and the Broncos all have in common?
None of them can play baseball.
Ok, those were good. Much more so than Dane Cook's bit for the Aurora Dark Knight shooting.
2 handicap jokes? 1 was OK, 2nd was excessive .... oh, you are a Rockies fan, right?
Over all funny, 2 (duplicate jokes) ... so I'll give it a 9 out of 10.
Forgot 1: Why don't they allow carry
To minimize suicides from embarrassment
I am a baseball fan and I approve this message!
Who do Rockies fans share their sorrows with? Mariners fans
When we have a diamond in the rough in Seattle or Colorado, where do they eventually play? Somewhere else.
But hey, at least the Rockies have been to the WS and the Mariners have won 116 games - and both states are still OC friendly regardless of the crazies who run the place. Cheers and carry on!