Zombies!

So I had an "interesting" encounter with a saleswoman at Dick's Sporting Goods in Lynnhaven mall today. I was OCing, and was out with my father shopping for a new gun safe. We were discussing how quickly you could open the combination lock if the "zombies" came bursting through your door. She looked at us and stated very seriously, "there are no such thing as zombies." Obviously I know this to be *true*, but does anyone else "joke" about a "zombie" invasion?

-Eddy

Some friends and I used to joke about hoarding ammunition for the apocalypse, but that was a few years ago, lol. I think most of us are too tired of it now. The whole zombie thing has run its course.

GarandGuy55 said:

Some friends and I used to joke about hoarding ammunition for the apocalypse, but that was a few years ago, lol. I think most of us are too tired of it now. The whole zombie thing has run its course.

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Well that's what my dad always says, that he is preparing for the apocalypse. I think he uses zombies as a more covert way of identifying the societal breakdown that will occur if/when the economy fully collapses.

I joke about it all the time. The saleswoman doesn't sound like she's very skilled at her job. Okay, yeah, zombies aren't real. But burglars are. If she didn't want to talk zombies that's fine, but a better response would have been; 'well I don't know about zombies, but if a burglar burst through your door...'

I probably would have just said "well, if zombies ain't real, then I guess I don't need my guns and if I don't need my guns, then I don't need this safe. I say we should leave this place, go somewhere they'll never find. We can act like we come from another world, leave the real one far behind. And we can dance." Then I'd dance out the door.

Jack House said:

I probably would have just said "well, if zombies ain't real, then I guess I don't need my guns and if I don't need my guns, then I don't need this safe." Then I would broken into Safety Dance.

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+1 :banana::banana::banana:

just shoot the lock off ! I know a few zombies .. they live in a domed building in washington dc

Esanders2008 said:

does anyone else "joke" about a "zombie" invasion?

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The zombie invasion is already here. The zombies keep voting for the same politicians while expecting a different result.

I've been joking about zombies for 10+ years and prolly will be for another 10.

5 Scientific reasons a Zombie Apocalypse could happen.


http://www.cracked.com/article_1564...-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html

renoglock22 said:

5 Scientific reasons a Zombie Apocalypse could happen.


http://www.cracked.com/article_1564...-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html

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HA! I thought only I read cracked

To me the "Zombie" apocalypse is what is going to happen when the tax/borrow and spend economy that our government has created leads us to another major Depression.

My grandparents went through the first Depression and actually lived pretty well. They grew their own food, had chickens, pigs, and a few cows. They were self-sufficient in many ways and what they could not make or buy due to lack of money, they would trade the chicken's eggs, a side of beef, or even their own labor.

They said that people would come to their farm and ask to do work for some food. They would give them some chores to do and then feed them well.

Can you imagine what the ones that believe in "Obama Money" such as the girl in this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ojd13kZlCA will do when Obama's stash drys up and they do not get a check?

Do you think many of them would be willing to clean a barn stall for a meal? Do you think they would come to your door nicely and ask nice?

I think that many with the attitude of the one in the recording would just join roving bands of thugs that would take what they needed to survive. They would take by force and kill anyone that resists.

So, if and when those "Zombie" Hoards show up, I intend to be prepared.

rscottie said:

To me the "Zombie" apocalypse is what is going to happen when the tax/borrow and spend economy that our government has created leads us to another major Depression.

My grandparents went through the first Depression and actually lived pretty well. They grew their own food, had chickens, pigs, and a few cows. They were self-sufficient in many ways and what they could not make or buy due to lack of money, they would trade the chicken's eggs, a side of beef, or even their own labor.

They said that people would come to their farm and ask to do work for some food. They would give them some chores to do and then feed them well.

Can you imagine what the ones that believe in "Obama Money" such as the girl in this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ojd13kZlCA will do when Obama's stash drys up and they do not get a check?

Do you think many of them would be willing to clean a barn stall for a meal? Do you think they would come to your door nicely and ask nice?

I think that many with the attitude of the one in the recording would just join roving bands of thugs that would take what they needed to survive. They would take by force and kill anyone that resists.

So, if and when those "Zombie" Hoards show up, I intend to be prepared.

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+1

Well this hangs beside my desk.... Nuff said

Cracked is awesome. As far as the zombie discussion.... I have it all the time with my buddies...When I was in the service one way to pass the time on convoys are when we were in the field was to discuss our plans for zombies. My take on it is if the zombies do come then I am ready. If they don't and something still happens then I am still ready..LOL

Esanders2008 said:

She looked at us and stated very seriously, "there are no such thing as zombies."

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFPgzD0JDcQ

stay safe.

skidmark said:

Esanders, your little saleslady is wrong. She been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. She does not believe except she sees. She thinks that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by her little mind. All minds, Esanders, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge. Yes, Esanders, there are zombies. They exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no zombies. It would be as dreary as if there were no Esanders. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. Not believe in zombies! You might as well not believe in the Easter Bunny! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the gardens on Easter Morning to catch the Easter Bunny, but even if they did not see the Easter Bunny coming down the bunny trail, what would that prove? Nobody sees the Easter Bunny, but that is no sign that there is no Easter Bunny. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see the Easter Bunny hiding eggs? Of course not, but that's no proof that he is not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world. You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Esanders, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No zombies! Thank God! they are reanimated, and they remain animated forever - unless you blow their head from their body. A thousand years from now, Esanders, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, they will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFPgzD0JDcQ

stay safe.

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Why does this sound so familiar.. in a different context? Haven't clicked the Youtube link yet though..

*UPDATE* Clicked the link. Laughed so hard. And if I am not mistaken I think that may be an adapted letter about Santa.

Esanders2008 said:

Why does this sound so familiar.. in a different context? Haven't clicked the Youtube link yet though..

*UPDATE* Clicked the link. Laughed so hard. And if I am not mistaken I think that may be an adapted letter about Santa.

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Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause (or zombies, who knows).

Esanders2008 said:

Why does this sound so familiar.. in a different context? Haven't clicked the Youtube link yet though..

*UPDATE* Clicked the link. Laughed so hard. And if I am not mistaken I think that may be an adapted letter about Santa.

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*bows deeply* Exeunt, stage right, to resounding cheers and applause from the galleries.

ldsgeek said:

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause (or zombies, who knows).

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Yes. As a matter of fact there were two movies with that title.

You may be thinking of this scene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KS2khYJZKwA from "Night at the Opera".

As for Santa Claus, me and Grandma believe. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7X6EO3GGzY

stay safe.

DangerClose said:

The zombie invasion is already here. The zombies keep voting for the same politicians while expecting a different result.

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We'll see if the Zombies are out in full-force come November 6... we can only hope that they aren't! As for the "same politicians", I have come to the conclusion that 99% of all politicians - especially at the national level - are cast from the same mold, which makes any recognizable change virtually impossible no matter for whom one votes. Politics is all about the moneyed-class' greed for power. Looking back at our history, I believe that Abe Lincoln's election to the presidency was the last time a working-class stiff made a successful bid for national office. Pax...

Gil223 said:

We'll see if the Zombies are out in full-force come November 6... we can only hope that they aren't! As for the "same politicians", I have come to the conclusion that 99% of all politicians - especially at the national level - are cast from the same mold, which makes any recognizable change virtually impossible no matter for whom one votes. Politics is all about the moneyed-class' greed for power. Looking back at our history, I believe that Abe Lincoln's election to the presidency was the last time a working-class stiff made a successful bid for national office. Pax...

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I fully agree with this... I in fact have a few opinions on this particular subject that I seriously think would change the whole system for the better if anybody would actually do it...

#1 stop giving certian elected officials lifetime positions... The president can only be in office for a total of 2 terms or 8 years... why are there congressmen and senators that have been elected for for 6, 12, 18 or more years? And why are these same people being paid 6 figure salaries as well as medical and pention benefits when nearly 50% of them are millionaires in their own right?

#2 Why are we still paying millions of dollars every year to previous presidents? While in office, they already get nearly $600,000 a year in salary and benefits. Why are they still getting paid nearly $200,000 per year pention as well as many other expences paid by the US tax payers when the currently alive ex presidents are all multi-millionaires?

#3 Why in the world do we still have the outdated electoral college system when it is so outdated? If I vote for one person and the other person up for election wins 50.1% of the vote in my state, they automatically win 100% of the vote from my state even though I didn't vote for them... this caused a big backlash not to long ago with the most recent Bush election... he lost the popular vote but somehow managed to win anyway...

I have more but I'm not gonna get into it... these are just examples of how the people in control are going to stay in control as long as money is involved.