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Thread: 2nd hand OC

  1. #1
    Regular Member CCinMaine's Avatar
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    2nd hand OC

    All of us here know all too well the stigma that comes with OC, some more then others, but sometimes that stigma must be dealt with by loved ones with you while you OC. Today for instance I brought my wife to work and thought I would OC some and do some errands while in the city. I finished said errands and went back to my car in the public lot of where she works wanting to not use extra gas I figured I would wait until she got out instead of going home. One of her coworkers saw me getting into my car with my gun and just sitting there. Apparently that got all her coworkers riled up and harassing her to the point that my wife called me from inside to ask me to find another parking lot to wait in.
    Now my wife is supportive of my OC'ing because she knows I'm passionate about it. I'm OK dealing with anti's and any of the stigma, but she isn't as involved in guns or OC as I am and doesn't understand my reasons to oc, even though I try to explain and she is supportive, but I can tell she doesn't like when either one of us is confronted about it. I think I'm going to go back to cc while with her and OC while by myself. I imagine others have dealt with this and am curious as to how anyone has done so.

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  2. #2
    Campaign Veteran skidmark's Avatar
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    First, let me compliment you on not seizing the opportunity to have a knock-down fight with your wife over how much you love and care about her as opposed to how little she appreciates the fact that you are willing to stick around to protect her from harm.

    One of her cow-erkers saw you getting into the car, and then suddenly all of them are "riled up and harassing her"? Seems as if one of her cow-erkers had a PSH moment and decided to involve the rest of the place in her hysteria.

    Now my wife is supportive of my OC'ing because she knows I'm passionate about it. I'm OK dealing with anti's and any of the stigma, but she isn't as involved in guns or OC as I am and doesn't understand my reasons to oc, even though I try to explain and she is supportive, but I can tell she doesn't like when either one of us is confronted about it.
    1 - your wife is supportive because she knows you are passionate about it. But does she know specifically what you are passionate about? Is it just the exercise of a right? Is it just the message you send to those who see you that you can defend yourself better than they might be able to? Is it that as much as cops and others might want to they cannot just gang-tackle you and throw you i/under the jail? Or does she appreciate the fact that you do this in order to be able to protect her?

    2 - you answered the question yourself: "doesn't understand my reasons to oc, even though I try to explain." See #1 above for some ideas to share with her. Embelish as desired.

    3 -" I can tell she doesn't like when either one of us is confronted about it." That's pretty much how most women operate - avoiding confrontation and seeking consensus. That is not anything but an observation and a repetition of conclusions reached by rigorous scientific study. If she supports your OCing even though she does not understand why you insist on doing it (silly boy, but I love you so I'll put up with it) but is not willing to defend your doing it then IMHO she does not support your OCing - she merely puts up with it. See #1 above for some ideas to share with her. Embelish as desired.

    Forget trying to flood her with facts - except for the fact that you care so much about her and her safety that you are willing to go to the extreme of OCing in order to protect her. Remind her that OCing makes it possible for you to do that without swaggering as you walk down the street with her, trying to suggest by alpha-male body language that you are big and bad and your woman is not to be mesed with (CCing). Remind her that you OC even when she is not around so you can continue to be around and be her life companion, and can support her and what she wants to do and become. In other words, tell her what does your OCing do for her without getting into a recitation of facts or arguments about rights.

    stay safe.
    "He'll regret it to his dying day....if ever he lives that long."----The Quiet Man

    Because stupidity isn't a race, and everybody can win.

    "No matter how much contempt you have for the media in all this, you don't have enough"
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  3. #3
    Regular Member OC for ME's Avatar
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    Happy wife, happy life.

    or

    Get a new wife.

    It appears that she is not willing to defend you or your lawful actions that she purports to support. In the current job market her remaining employed may be the motivating factor. Unless of course her "boss" don't care then it is likely a "being accepted at work" thing. There seems to be few if any friends for your wife in that work place, only company appointed acquaintances.

    A lesson learned I have, when wife chooses "social acceptance", at work in this case, over you it is time to have a sit down with DW (dear wife). I have a different wife now and going on 20+ years with this "new" one.....she's a keeper.
    "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." - Thomas Jefferson.

    "Better that ten guilty persons escape, than that one innocent suffer" - English jurist William Blackstone.
    It is AFAIK original to me. Compromise is failure on the installment plan, particularly when dealing with so intractable an opponent as ignorance. - Nightmare

  4. #4
    Campaign Veteran MAC702's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CCinMaine View Post
    ... coworkers riled up and harassing her...
    This is acceptable in her workplace?
    "It's not important how many people I've killed. What's important is how I get along with the people who are still alive" - Jimmy the Tulip

  5. #5
    Activist Member carsontech's Avatar
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    This thread reminds me that I'm lucky.

    My wife carries (CCs while in a "CC only state", OCs the rest of the time), Dad carries sometimes, father-in-law carries sometimes, brother in law carries, everyone other family member in our family tree own guns or is fine with us open carrying around them no matter what any "outsider" feels/says.

  6. #6
    Regular Member OC for ME's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by carsontech View Post
    This thread reminds me that I'm lucky.

    My wife carries (Only while in a "CC only state"), Dad carries sometimes, father-in-law carries sometimes, brother in law carries, everyone other family member in our family tree own guns or is fine with us open carrying around them no matter what any "outsider" feels/says.
    .....yankees.....go figure.....
    "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." - Thomas Jefferson.

    "Better that ten guilty persons escape, than that one innocent suffer" - English jurist William Blackstone.
    It is AFAIK original to me. Compromise is failure on the installment plan, particularly when dealing with so intractable an opponent as ignorance. - Nightmare

  7. #7
    Regular Member OC for ME's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OC for ME View Post
    .....yankees.....go figure.....
    Referring to the OP's wife's "co-workers" that is.....
    "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." - Thomas Jefferson.

    "Better that ten guilty persons escape, than that one innocent suffer" - English jurist William Blackstone.
    It is AFAIK original to me. Compromise is failure on the installment plan, particularly when dealing with so intractable an opponent as ignorance. - Nightmare

  8. #8
    Regular Member OC for ME's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OC for ME View Post
    Referring to the OP's wife's "co-workers" that is.....
    If I had a edit post function I wudda fixed the first post.....or.....maybe I shudda reread my post before i selected the Submit Reply action button.
    "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." - Thomas Jefferson.

    "Better that ten guilty persons escape, than that one innocent suffer" - English jurist William Blackstone.
    It is AFAIK original to me. Compromise is failure on the installment plan, particularly when dealing with so intractable an opponent as ignorance. - Nightmare

  9. #9
    Activist Member carsontech's Avatar
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    For some reason I put that "My wife carries (Only while in a "CC only state")"! I must have been smoking some good stuff when i typed that out.

    I hope she doesn't read that, as she hates carrying concealed and loves open carrying. Edited my previous post.... Sorry honey.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by carsontech View Post
    For some reason I put that "My wife carries (Only while in a "CC only state")"! I must have been smoking some good stuff when i typed that out.

    I hope she doesn't read that, as she hates carrying concealed and loves open carrying. Edited my previous post.... Sorry honey.
    Good thing you corrected yourself. I got ya trained well!





  11. #11
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    I'm not defending the co-workers (as I don't know what they REALLY were thinking) but PERHAPS they MAY have become alarmed that you MIGHT be a psycho-stalker-shooter and had plans MAYBE to harm your wife, and any of her co-workers at the same time, and then off yourself (murder-suicide). Somewhat far-fetched...or is it?

    With all the husbands/ex-husbands/BFs and such tracking down their SOs and shooting her at her workplace news stories we've been seeing lately, maybe your wife's co-workers were recalling those events which in turn, negatively influenced (and interpreting) what they were seeing: A woman's armed husband outside her place of work, just sitting in the car (not leaving). Until they got to KNOW you (assuming they do not), and realize you were not likely to be a threat, I suppose their "concern" was AT LEAST explainable.

    [Of course, the HARASSING of your wife was not appropriate!]

    I'm just saying that we ALL need to be careful how we interpret what we see out there...but it's still best to err on the side of "This guy/gal MAY be a psycho workplace/school/restaurant/theater shooter" and be prepared to react/call the cops.

    I remember one time sitting in a bar with a cop (off-duty) and he asked, "If a guy came in the door carrying an AK, what would you do?" Some might have said "Shoot him, he's got a gun" but what if he (the bar owner, family member, friend) was just carrying the gun into the bar to take it into the back office? Shooting right up front on sight would have been tragic. It's best to WAIT to see what he was going do DO with it...THEN shoot -- but only if HE was gong to start shooting! Right?

    Point is, we need to avoid jumping to wrong conclusions.

    Still, a guy with a gun sitting in his car at his wife's place of work is not your typical everyday experience -- and as I said, considering the news stories about murder-suicide events -- so if people become alarmed, is that alarm reasonable? Or at least understandable?

    As for them harassing your wife, THAT needs to be sorted-out! ASAP.
    Last edited by cloudcroft; 09-24-2012 at 02:11 PM.

  12. #12
    Regular Member Vitaeus's Avatar
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    "They" were obviously interacting with the wife. "He was my ride to work today, he carries everywhere he is legally able to be." After that the other folks reaction is THEIR issue. My wife is self-employed, if the firearm is going to negatively affect her business, she either conceals or doesn't carry, that is a considered decision. If my carry is going to affect her business, I conceal or rarely don't carry. This requires communication from both parties, but it is her input, not her associates that changes my choice.

  13. #13
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    I understand your situation. My wife took a lot of heat earlier this year due to a lot of publicity that was put on us because of my legal activity and illegal activity of others. It's easier for me, and probably you, to have thick skin and not let it get us down.

    Women are wired differently than we are. It's not good when they get picked on because people don't like what their husbands are doing.

    For me, the situation was a little different. Right after it happened, I went out of town for 5 weeks, and the situation calmed down. Recently it's been back in the public eye (at my initiation) but most of the idiots have shut up about it.

    Sorry I know most of that isn't directly related to your situation, but I hope that you don't fault your wife for not being prepared to take on her coworkers. I think you made a wise decision to leave the parking lot and lessen the grief on your wife.

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