And the final update on this situation:
I went over to Middleburg Bank, and they closed my account for me - waiving fees to do so, as the account was new, but the reason for closing was beyond my (and the branch's) control. Very nice folks to deal with, really - I wish the firearms policy weren't stupid.
We still have to wait for a couple of CDs at VCB to mature, but when they do, the bulk of the accounts will be closed. I have opened one account over at PNC, and expect more will follow. We are actively looking at other investments, as well.
When each account is closed, I will make sure they know exactly why. I'm tempted to go to the branch where the VP who responded to me is located to close the largest one. And maybe ask for it in cash.
Ed, if you really want to send a postcard, the name and address is on the letter I posted. Since I still have accounts there, though, I would prefer I not be mentioned by name. You understand, of course.