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Carrying while mothering

rosesandbrambles

New member
Joined
Nov 3, 2012
Messages
6
Location
Winchester, VA
I have a question about openly carrying a handgun- am I going to freak people out if I, as a woman, am clearly carrying a firearm while caring for my 3 children (ages 2, 6, and 8)? I would like to have some sort of defense, love hiking but won't go with just me and the kids, at least not without some sort of protection.

Would I be drawing far too much attention to myself? I am not the type to like any extra attention, kind of stay on the sidelines, but the cost and time to obtain a concealed carry permit are things I would rather not deal with. Although if it would be better, I would consider it.

Mainly I am wondering if "concerned people" would be more likely to call law enforcement because I am a mom with children, or not.

I am well versed in firearm safety, I am a decent shot, had plenty of practice with friends' weapons, just never had my own, so no worries on my ability to handle it or to take appropriate safety precautions. I realize that it is my legal right to openly carry a firearm, that being said, I do not want to have to deal with a situation every time I go out.

And yes, I chose a title to (hopefully) garner attention, only so that I could get as many responses as possible. :) And no, I am not going to go grocery shopping or museum visiting with it on my person, at least not right away. :D Would likely leave it in my car during such scenarios.
 

thebigsd

Founder's Club Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2010
Messages
3,535
Location
Quarryville, PA
There are many mothers that open carry on this site. It is not unusual or strange at all. I think that you will find that most people don't either notice that you are OCing or don't care. Don't worry too much about other people's perceptions, focus on protecting your family.

I think a mother with a gun is likely to draw even less attention than a man with a gun and a child (especially when your kid is yelling "let me go, I want my mommy as you're leaving the grocery store lol). I have been OCing for the entire time my 3-year has been alive and have never had a negative encounter. In my five years of OCing I have also never had any kind of encounter with the police so don't stress about that either. Just make sure you are aware of every law that relates to you as an open-carrier.

Now why wouldn't you carry to the grocery store or museum? My advice is to carry everywhere you are legally able to every time you leave your house. There is no such place as a safe zone.

Finally you should check out the Virginia Citizens Defense League. It is a great group dedicated to gun rights in VA. If you go to their website you can sign up for VA-ALERT (on the right side of the page) which is a free email system that will keep you informed about everything gun-related going on in the state. The website is http://www.vcdl.org
 
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rosesandbrambles

New member
Joined
Nov 3, 2012
Messages
6
Location
Winchester, VA
Thank you for your response. It's very good to know there are other moms on this site, I expected it to be mostly guys.

I am certainly a little less worried now. :)
 

PistolPackingMomma

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 1, 2011
Messages
1,884
Location
SC
+1 to what thebigsd said.

In my experience, most people don't notice. My husband's OCing gets noticed a lot, however, and he frequently has to point it out to people that I'm even armed. They especially don't seem to notice when I am pregnant, LOL!

The only time someone has independently noticed me OCing was at a rest stop in NC, and I had to walk past him while carrying my year old son. He was in the process of castigating someone on the phone, and said he was going to hold back certain remarks until "the lady with her baby passes me, then I'mma let you have it!" I passed by with my weak side to him, and he must have watched me as I walked away, because all of a sudden I heard him exclaim to his cellular companion; "Holy ****! The lady with the baby has a gat! She's strapped! I wasn't gonna mess with her before, but I'm definitely not going to now!"

He didn't sound fearful or alarmed; just very surprised. Everyone else that has ever noticed is simply surprised or curious. I think you'll be fine, :) but if it makes you nervous to do so, I recommend an OCing buddy, or going to an open carry breakfast or meet up until you get more comfortable with it. It took me some getting used to, but now I carry every day and every where, and feel naked without it! :eek:

I applaud you for carrying to defend you and your kids!
 

rosesandbrambles

New member
Joined
Nov 3, 2012
Messages
6
Location
Winchester, VA
Glad to reassure you! Still curious as to why you wouldn't OC to the grocery store though...

Feeling like everyone would stare at me? I wear jeans and a t-shirt, rather fitted ones at that. It would be obvious, or at least I think it would be.

Do you all carry to the grocery store, Walmart, anywhere else you go? Have you ever had problems?
 

KYGlockster

Activist Member
Joined
Dec 9, 2010
Messages
1,842
Location
Ashland, KY
I have a question about openly carrying a handgun- am I going to freak people out if I, as a woman, am clearly carrying a firearm while caring for my 3 children (ages 2, 6, and 8)? I would like to have some sort of defense, love hiking but won't go with just me and the kids, at least not without some sort of protection.

Would I be drawing far too much attention to myself? I am not the type to like any extra attention, kind of stay on the sidelines, but the cost and time to obtain a concealed carry permit are things I would rather not deal with. Although if it would be better, I would consider it.

Mainly I am wondering if "concerned people" would be more likely to call law enforcement because I am a mom with children, or not.

I am well versed in firearm safety, I am a decent shot, had plenty of practice with friends' weapons, just never had my own, so no worries on my ability to handle it or to take appropriate safety precautions. I realize that it is my legal right to openly carry a firearm, that being said, I do not want to have to deal with a situation every time I go out.

And yes, I chose a title to (hopefully) garner attention, only so that I could get as many responses as possible. :) And no, I am not going to go grocery shopping or museum visiting with it on my person, at least not right away. :D Would likely leave it in my car during such scenarios.

I open carry while fathering quite often, and never get harassed or bothered in unpleasant ways. Here in KY seeing a firearm is rather common, and I have never had a bad experience while just out and about doing my business -- with or without my children. I have had problems before while carrying, but these have all occurred while dealing with rogue government agents and such, where such a confrontation could be expected until those confronting are informed of the law (which they are normally very displeased that I have a right to carry in "their" buildings).

I wouldn't worry about having problems; I would expect just the opposite because you are a woman with children around. Like the other posters have stated, most people will never notice you are armed; the rest of the people will not care.

So, go purchase a firearm that you like and enjoy and carry on.
 

TFred

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 13, 2008
Messages
7,750
Location
Most historic town in, Virginia, USA
Nobody's done it yet, so I will.

First, yes, I think most of us will applaud your decision. The hesitations you are dealing with are not trivial, and your willingness to confront them and move past them are to be commended.

The long-timers here can't read this thread without recalling the proud, but also sad memories of another mom who carried, a woman from Pennsylvania named Meleanie Hain. (That is the correct spelling of her first name.)

Meleanie was a bit of a hero for the Open Carry movement, who first came to public attention by openly carrying her sidearm to her childrens' Rec League soccer games. She took heat from some of the other sheeple-parents, and caught the attention of her local Sheriff. The Sheriff decided it was a great way to earn some publicity, so he took away her LTCF (Pennsylvania's License to Carry Firearms). Of course, there were no laws broken, so she appealed the decision and the judge returned her permit - all in the public view of the press, which reached national levels of exposure, including TV interviews on FoxNews.

The sad twist to this hero's story is that she had an absolute schmuck for a husband, who shot and killed her one evening while she was working on her computer in the kitchen of their home. Being the schmuck coward that he was, he then took his own life.

I'm reluctant to bring such a sad part of the story to your thread, but unfortunately, one cannot learn of the heroic part of Meleanie's life without also learning of the tragic end.

Because of the publicity, there are many news stories about Meleanie's life both during her Open Carry fight, and of course covering her untimely death as well.

TFred
 

skidmark

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Jan 15, 2007
Messages
10,444
Location
Valhalla
What a bunch of knuckle-dragging neanderthals you have had to deal with so far. Not a single one of them extended a welcome to our little cave. So -

Welcome to OCDO. Oh, yeah - and join VCDL www.vcdl.org .

Having gotten that out of the way, let me steer you to two great moms that put their gun-carrying out there - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJriDAhIIQs (a whole raft of videos - you should be able to wade through all of them in just a few hours short of a full week :lol:) and www.agirlandhergun.org , who lives out your way and is part of a good training outfit. Working through these two, and of course Kate Jackson's The Cornered Cat www.corneredcat.com and Brigid http://mausersandmuffins.blogspot.com should start you on your way to not only getting answers to your questions/concerns but to having even more that you want to find answers to.

If you have not yet selected your handgun, please read http://www.corneredcat.com/article/for-the-men/what-gun-for-a-woman and http://www.corneredcat.com/article/for-the-men/buying-a-gun-for-your-wife .

Right now there are not a lot of OCers who are willing to get together socially (meet&greets) but with a little prodding that situation might be "corrected". If nothing else, the old "If you post it, they will come" routine works (most of the time).

Glasd to have you with us. Please stick around - we need both the fresh perspective and the "different" viewpoint you bring.

stay safe.
 

2a4all

Regular Member
Joined
Jul 1, 2008
Messages
1,846
Location
Newport News, Virginia, USA
I'm not a mother, so I might have a different view.

Everywhere you go, there is always the possibility that you may encounter danger. Such situations are rare for anyone of us, but they are also unpredictable. Thus, you must be prepared.

Preparation takes on all forms, not just the carry of a sidearm. You must learn to recognize danger before it happens, and take steps to avoid it if at all possible. If not, then you may need to "protect in place". If your children are with you, heed the advice given by the flight attendants during the pre-flight briefing: "If you are traveling with small children, don your own oxygen mask first, then see to them" (or words to that effect).

First, make sure that your kids all know their names, addresses, your name (no, it's not Mommy) and phone #s. If you get separated, they'll be able to tell someone how to contact you. If you find yourself in a confrontational situation where you feel the need to defend yourself, get between your attacker and your kids (they might try to defend you). If necessary, order them to run away and get help. (Teach them what that means). If you're near your car, get them into it first, then yourself.

Once you know that your kids are safe, (relative to your attacker), then draw your weapon as a last resort. Focus on him, don't take your eyes off him, and look at him through your gun sight. Get that gun up to your eye level, in both hands, and fully extend both arms. Point your gun as you look. Don't turn your head, turn your body. Your kids might be screaming in the background; let them. Your first priority is stopping the threat.

You should only care about the impression you make on a threat. Otherwise, why you carry is no one else's business.
 

Grapeshot

Legendary Warrior
Joined
May 21, 2006
Messages
35,317
Location
Valhalla
rosesandbrambles there are a considerable number of ladies here in Virginia, some with children, that regularly OC.

To name a few, there is Tess, ClumsyCandy, DoubleTap, Riana,Steeler-gal, and a pile more. We have executive members of VCDL that happen to be female and quite a number of firearms instructors fit that description.

It has been my experience that women are less liable to have problems when OCing, especially when they have children in tow.

I would recommend reading from 2 sources:

This one is designed for women by a women, very insightful internet site:
http://www.corneredcat.com/

Outstanding book for either gender:
http://www.amazon.com/Armed-Female-Twelve-Million-American/dp/0312951507

Paxton Quigley taking a "breather" at Massad Ayoob's Lethal Force Institute
 
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Citizen

Founder's Club Member
Joined
Nov 15, 2006
Messages
18,269
Location
Fairfax Co., VA
SNIP I have a question about openly carrying a handgun- am I going to freak people out if I, as a woman, am clearly carrying a firearm while caring for my 3 children (ages 2, 6, and 8)? I would like to have some sort of defense, love hiking but won't go with just me and the kids, at least not without some sort of protection...

And no, I am not going to go grocery shopping or museum visiting with it on my person, at least not right away. :D Would likely leave it in my car during such scenarios.

Welcome to Open Carry dot Org.

I won't address the woman-carry stuff because others already responded.

You might want to give some serious reconsideration to leaving the gun in your car. Its open to theft. Personally, I don't see a problem with it. But, some folks are quite willing to blame the victim as much or more than the criminal who steals it--attacking the victim for making the gun accessible to a criminal. You'll want to decide whether you're up to the argument if the gun is stolen. And, willing to take the risk of the loss in the first place.
 

PistolPackingMomma

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 1, 2011
Messages
1,884
Location
SC
Nobody's done it yet, so I will.

First, yes, I think most of us will applaud your decision. The hesitations you are dealing with are not trivial, and your willingness to confront them and move past them are to be commended.

The long-timers here can't read this thread without recalling the proud, but also sad memories of another mom who carried, a woman from Pennsylvania named Meleanie Hain. (That is the correct spelling of her first name.)

Meleanie was a bit of a hero for the Open Carry movement, who first came to public attention by openly carrying her sidearm to her childrens' Rec League soccer games. She took heat from some of the other sheeple-parents, and caught the attention of her local Sheriff. The Sheriff decided it was a great way to earn some publicity, so he took away her LTCF (Pennsylvania's License to Carry Firearms). Of course, there were no laws broken, so she appealed the decision and the judge returned her permit - all in the public view of the press, which reached national levels of exposure, including TV interviews on FoxNews.

The sad twist to this hero's story is that she had an absolute schmuck for a husband, who shot and killed her one evening while she was working on her computer in the kitchen of their home. Being the schmuck coward that he was, he then took his own life.

I'm reluctant to bring such a sad part of the story to your thread, but unfortunately, one cannot learn of the heroic part of Meleanie's life without also learning of the tragic end.

Because of the publicity, there are many news stories about Meleanie's life both during her Open Carry fight, and of course covering her untimely death as well.

TFred

What does the nature of Mrs. Hain's death have to do with "open carrying while mothering"?
 

thebigsd

Founder's Club Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2010
Messages
3,535
Location
Quarryville, PA
Feeling like everyone would stare at me? I wear jeans and a t-shirt, rather fitted ones at that. It would be obvious, or at least I think it would be.

Do you all carry to the grocery store, Walmart, anywhere else you go? Have you ever had problems?

I carry everywhere that I am legally able to. In five years I have ony had one lady tell me she was scared that someone would take my gun. Beyond that I have never had a negative encounter.
 

Shoobee

Regular Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2012
Messages
599
Location
CCCP (Calif)
What a bunch of knuckle-dragging neanderthals you have had to deal with so far. Not a single one of them extended a welcome to our little cave. So -

Welcome to OCDO. Oh, yeah - and join VCDL www.vcdl.org .

Having gotten that out of the way, let me steer you to two great moms that put their gun-carrying out there - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJriDAhIIQs (a whole raft of videos - you should be able to wade through all of them in just a few hours short of a full week :lol:) and www.agirlandhergun.org , who lives out your way and is part of a good training outfit. Working through these two, and of course Kate Jackson's The Cornered Cat www.corneredcat.com and Brigid http://mausersandmuffins.blogspot.com should start you on your way to not only getting answers to your questions/concerns but to having even more that you want to find answers to.

If you have not yet selected your handgun, please read http://www.corneredcat.com/article/for-the-men/what-gun-for-a-woman and http://www.corneredcat.com/article/for-the-men/buying-a-gun-for-your-wife .

Right now there are not a lot of OCers who are willing to get together socially (meet&greets) but with a little prodding that situation might be "corrected". If nothing else, the old "If you post it, they will come" routine works (most of the time).

Glasd to have you with us. Please stick around - we need both the fresh perspective and the "different" viewpoint you bring.

stay safe.

That which does not kill your knuckles makes them stronger.
 

Shoobee

Regular Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2012
Messages
599
Location
CCCP (Calif)
Feeling like everyone would stare at me? I wear jeans and a t-shirt, rather fitted ones at that. It would be obvious, or at least I think it would be...

I thought the whole reason for girls, ladies, and women wearing makeup was to get more looks.

Well just imagine what a Smith & Wesson or Glock would do for you then?

:D
 
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Grapeshot

Legendary Warrior
Joined
May 21, 2006
Messages
35,317
Location
Valhalla
I thought the whole reason for girls, ladies, and women wearing makeup was to get more looks.

Well just imagine what a Smith & Wesson or Glock would do for you then?

:D

That is one of the most sensible, telling of statements. Would make a very favorable impression on this Cro Magnon male.

Don't care if she can cook - that's why they invented carry out. She doesn't need to iron - I wear wash and wear or utilize the corner dry cleaner.

But if she'll go shooting with me and carry as an equal, we'll go far and enjoy the journey.

Now a 1911 on her hip in condition 1 is the thing of which dreams are made.
 

saiga12boy

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 19, 2012
Messages
109
Location
Colorado
I have a question about openly carrying a handgun- am I going to freak people out if I, as a woman, am clearly carrying a firearm while caring for my 3 children (ages 2, 6, and 8)? I would like to have some sort of defense, love hiking but won't go with just me and the kids, at least not without some sort of protection.

Would I be drawing far too much attention to myself? I am not the type to like any extra attention, kind of stay on the sidelines, but the cost and time to obtain a concealed carry permit are things I would rather not deal with. Although if it would be better, I would consider it.

Mainly I am wondering if "concerned people" would be more likely to call law enforcement because I am a mom with children, or not.

I am well versed in firearm safety, I am a decent shot, had plenty of practice with friends' weapons, just never had my own, so no worries on my ability to handle it or to take appropriate safety precautions. I realize that it is my legal right to openly carry a firearm, that being said, I do not want to have to deal with a situation every time I go out.

And yes, I chose a title to (hopefully) garner attention, only so that I could get as many responses as possible. :) And no, I am not going to go grocery shopping or museum visiting with it on my person, at least not right away. :D Would likely leave it in my car during such scenarios.
You should go for it if people are offended then that's their choice.
 

paramedic

Regular Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2009
Messages
118
Location
Waycross, GA
My wife carries every where she goes, has never had an issue, our youngest in now 14. Yes she carries to the grocery store, wally world, and any where else she is legally allowed to do so. And as someone else mentioned, most people notice mine way before they notice hers. In fact she gets a little jealous when someone starts asking about mine, and never asks her what she is carrying :lol:. I usually just tell her that is because they are not looking down that far.....:rolleyes:
 

Shoobee

Regular Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2012
Messages
599
Location
CCCP (Calif)
That is one of the most sensible, telling of statements. Would make a very favorable impression on this Cro Magnon male.

Don't care if she can cook - that's why they invented carry out. She doesn't need to iron - I wear wash and wear or utilize the corner dry cleaner.

But if she'll go shooting with me and carry as an equal, we'll go far and enjoy the journey.

Now a 1911 on her hip in condition 1 is the thing of which dreams are made.

I said looks, not mates.

Looks. That's when people look at you, or even stare at you.

OC certainly results in a fair share of stares.

Ironing ... all of my clothes are wash and wear or dry clean only.

Cooking ... most guys and gals can each do a fair amount of cooking and grilling themselves.

Guns in the house ... you only need to be careful that you don't get a girl that does not want a gun in the house ... avoid these NYC babes like the plague. They have been brainwashed by Bloomberg.

Huntress ... now that would be a treat ... I have seen a couple of huntresses at our archery range and at the firing range. This would be the dream come true if you are segwaying over to the topic of mates and dates.
 
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