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Thread: Senator Christopher Murphy Press Release (Sarcasm Alert)

  1. #1
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    Senator Christopher Murphy Press Release (Sarcasm Alert)

    Hartford, CT (2/25/2013) – At a press conference today, freshman Senator Chris Murphy (D-CT) will announce proposed legislation banning Assault Air Bags. His proposed Assault Air Bag Ban (AABB) is designed to get such dangerous explosive devices out of the hands of untrained citizens or prohibited drivers.

    Senator Murphy noted that Assault Air Bags were just designed to blow up as fast as possible and have no place on the streets of America. Law Enforcement Officers spend hours each day in their automobiles, exposed to extreme dangers, and need such dangerous devices to protect them from assault from private automobiles. No citizen needs such explosive power.

    Studies cited by Senator Murphy showed that two or three children every year are killed by improperly used Assault Air Bags. Senator Murphy’s proposed bill would forbid the manufacture or sale of any Assault Air Bag beginning with the 2014 model year. Assault Air Bags in private hands as of September 1, 2013, must be removed and surrendered to each state’s Department of Motor Vehicles or registered with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives within 6 weeks of the start of the ban, along with the payment of a $200 tax and submission to a Universal Driving Record Check. In addition, owners of such gradnfathered Assault Air Bags will have to take a 40 hour NTSB approved safety course, be fingerprinted, and pay a $100 fee for an Assault Air Bag Carry Permit. Applicants with a record of DWI, speeding in excess of 5 mph over the speed limit, more than two domestic parking citations, listed as on the Suspected Cell Phone User List maintained by the FCC, or considered unsuitable by their local Chief of Police will be banned from owning grandfathered Assault Air Bags.

    The Senator’s statement noted that his Assault Air Bag Ban (AABB) will not prevent any traffic fatalities but something must be done to prevent the carnage that often occurs once or twice a year. If we can save just one child we must act, whetfer it helps or not

    Senator Murphy assured the press that he is a staunch supporter of the Safety Amendment of the Constitution and that the common sense actions included in his Assault Air Bag Ban (AABB) will have insignificant impact on Air Bag owners’ constitutional rights. He also noted proudly that his proposed bill is co-sponsored by other staunch supporters of the Safety Amendment including Senator Blumenthal (D-CT), Senator Feinstein (D-CA), and Senator Schumer (D-NY). The Senator said “The Founding Fathers had nothing more powerful than seat belts in mind when they wrote this Safety Amendment. They would never have intended for such powerful devices as explosive Assault Air Bags to be in untrained civilian hands.”

    (When ammo shortages cut into range time, this is what results )

  2. #2
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    Holy Crap was that funny!

    Quote Originally Posted by Skinnedknuckles View Post
    Hartford, CT (2/25/2013) – At a press conference today, freshman Senator Chris Murphy (D-CT) will announce proposed legislation banning Assault Air Bags. His proposed Assault Air Bag Ban (AABB) is designed to get such dangerous explosive devices out of the hands of untrained citizens or prohibited drivers.


    (When ammo shortages cut into range time, this is what results )
    Still laughing!
    “The Constitution shall never be construed... to prevent the people of the United States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms.” —Samuel Adams

    "Here sir, the people govern." -- Alexander Hamilton (speech in the New York ratifying convention, 17 June 1788) Reference: The Debates of the Several State..., Elliot, vol. 2 (348)

    "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniencies attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." -- Thomas Jefferson

  3. #3
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    I love it when politicians say "dangerous"...then say that heller allows "dangerous weapons" to be banned

    but that's not what heller says at all .... anybody guess what it does say in respect to "dangerous" arms?

    Heller test...

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