Remember, weight soaks up a lot of recoil. A little Thunder 380 is pretty light, and if you're thinking like an M9, the grip can be pretty big for feminine hands. The Bersa is good for EDC; you might want to consider the Thunder 9. At 28 ounces, it should be a little more comfortable, recoil wise, than the Thunder 380 at 20 oz.
If you reload, you can load softer for target practice, but reloading 380 can be challenging because of the small charges used. 9mm is a bit better.