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Thread: When God Created Virginia

  1. #1
    Regular Member SouthernBoy's Avatar
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    When God Created Virginia

    I know, it isn't about firearms but it is about Virginia. Sent to me from a fellow Virginian who hails from the Tidewater.

    Enjoy.


    When God Created Virginia
    (even non-Virginians should love this one.)

    God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

    He inquired, "Where have you been?"

    God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the
    clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

    Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

    "It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it.

    I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

    "Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

    God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth.

    "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great
    opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.

    Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over
    there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

    God continued pointing to different countries.

    "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be
    very cold and covered in ice."

    The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

    "That's Virginia , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Virginia are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things"

    Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

    God smiled, "Right next to Virginia is Washington , D.C. .. Wait till you see the idiots I put there!"
    In the final seconds of your life, just before your killer is about to dispatch you to that great eternal darkness, what would you rather have in your hand? A cell phone or a gun?

    Si vis pacem, para bellum.

    America First!

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    Quote Originally Posted by SouthernBoy View Post
    SNIP "That's Virginia , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains.
    Sometimes I think He made Scotland and Ireland for practice, then...the masterpiece.
    I'll make you an offer: I will argue and fight for all of your rights, if you will do the same for me. That is the only way freedom can work. We have to respect all rights, all the time--and strive to win the rights of the other guy as much as for ourselves.

    If I am equal to another, how can I legitimately govern him without his express individual consent?

    There is no human being on earth I hate so much I would actually vote to inflict government upon him.

  3. #3
    Regular Member wylde007's Avatar
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    The quiet war has begun, with silent weapons
    And the newest slavery is to keep the people poor, and stupid
    Novos ordo seclorum ~ Mustaine

    Never argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

  4. #4
    Accomplished Advocate peter nap's Avatar
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    God was having a very good day when he started.
    First he made the Blue Ridge Mountains, then had lunch.

    Then he started in the south and worked his way north. It was some of his finest work.

    When he got to the Ni River he opened his mail and saw the IRS was auditing him. You might say everything from the NI to the other side of DC went to hell.

  5. #5
    Regular Member zoom6zoom's Avatar
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    Just wondering what it is about the Ni... why not the James or Rapahannock?

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    Quote Originally Posted by zoom6zoom View Post
    Just wondering what it is about the Ni... why not the James or Rapahannock?
    He can't spell the latter.
    I'll make you an offer: I will argue and fight for all of your rights, if you will do the same for me. That is the only way freedom can work. We have to respect all rights, all the time--and strive to win the rights of the other guy as much as for ourselves.

    If I am equal to another, how can I legitimately govern him without his express individual consent?

    There is no human being on earth I hate so much I would actually vote to inflict government upon him.

  7. #7
    Moderator / Administrator Grapeshot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Citizen View Post
    He can't spell the latter.
    T...H...E......L...A..T..T...E...R.........
    You will not rise to the occasion; you will fall back on your level of training. Archilochus, 650 BC

    Old and treacherous will beat young and skilled every time. Yata hey.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Grapeshot View Post
    T...H...E......L...A..T..T...E...R.........
    alllllright Francis ...... PhD in webography-stenography

    I cant spael too rood.
    Last edited by davidmcbeth; 08-22-2013 at 06:10 PM.

  9. #9
    Regular Member Red Dawg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zoom6zoom View Post
    Just wondering what it is about the Ni... why not the James or Rapahannock?
    And why pick on the poor Ni, there are like 2 other lil rivers forming the Mattaponi...personnally, I'd go Rapahanack..I like some of the little towns, with waterman between Mat and Rap...

    I also think there is no civilized life East of Gordonsville...
    The Second Amendment is in place
    in case the politicians ignore the others

    A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone

  10. #10
    Accomplished Advocate peter nap's Avatar
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    The Ni was known in ancient times as the River Styx. It separates the worlds and it's hot on the north side!

  11. #11
    Moderator / Administrator Grapeshot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by peter nap View Post
    The Ni was known in ancient times as the River Styx. It separates the worlds and it's hot on the north side!
    When Caesar crossed the Ni with his trojan horse, he told Zeus, "This side is mine, that side is yorn." and the fiddler kept playing.
    You will not rise to the occasion; you will fall back on your level of training. Archilochus, 650 BC

    Old and treacherous will beat young and skilled every time. Yata hey.

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    Quote Originally Posted by peter nap View Post
    The Ni was known in ancient times as the River Styx. It separates the worlds and it's hot on the north side!
    I'd tell you to go to hell, but I don't want you as a neighbor.
    I'll make you an offer: I will argue and fight for all of your rights, if you will do the same for me. That is the only way freedom can work. We have to respect all rights, all the time--and strive to win the rights of the other guy as much as for ourselves.

    If I am equal to another, how can I legitimately govern him without his express individual consent?

    There is no human being on earth I hate so much I would actually vote to inflict government upon him.

  13. #13
    Moderator / Administrator Grapeshot's Avatar
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    Think Peter has already been to Helen Back and returned neither richer nor poorer. It's just what he does.
    You will not rise to the occasion; you will fall back on your level of training. Archilochus, 650 BC

    Old and treacherous will beat young and skilled every time. Yata hey.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grapeshot View Post
    Think Peter has already been to Helen Back and returned neither richer nor poorer. It's just what he does.
    Listen, don't take this as a thaw or anything. But, you missed it. Peter's remark about the River Styx and it being hot north of the Ni was a southern way of saying everything north of the Ni is Hell.

    My reply about not wanting him as a neighbor was just an obtuse way of letting him know that I got it.
    Last edited by Citizen; 08-23-2013 at 09:30 PM.
    I'll make you an offer: I will argue and fight for all of your rights, if you will do the same for me. That is the only way freedom can work. We have to respect all rights, all the time--and strive to win the rights of the other guy as much as for ourselves.

    If I am equal to another, how can I legitimately govern him without his express individual consent?

    There is no human being on earth I hate so much I would actually vote to inflict government upon him.

  15. #15
    Moderator / Administrator Grapeshot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Citizen View Post
    Listen, don't take this as a thaw or anything. But, you missed it. Peter's remark about the River Styx and it being hot north of the Ni was a southern way of saying everything north of the Ni is Hell.

    My reply about not wanting him as a neighbor was just an obtuse way of letting him know that I got it.
    Really? Gee wiz golly. Got it.

    Didn't say that you were other than just being obtuse.
    You will not rise to the occasion; you will fall back on your level of training. Archilochus, 650 BC

    Old and treacherous will beat young and skilled every time. Yata hey.

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