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Thread: Gimme a cigarette

  1. #1
    Accomplished Advocate peter nap's Avatar
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    Gimme a cigarette

    I was at Barnes and Noble this afternoon. For some reason the bookstore parking lots are prime areas for aggressive panhandlers.

    I looked around and didn't see anything I was interested in, so I went out in the parking lot to smoke a cigarette while my wife looked at the magazines. I was leaning on the car when a punk rockish looking fellow walked up and said "gimme a cigarette".

    That's usually followed by the story about being out of gas and needing a few dollars.

    Anyway, I handed him a cigarette. He couldn't see below the hood of the car when he walked around and said gimme a light. I tossed the lighter his way when he saw my 1911.

    He got this panicked look and reached in his pocket and pulled out a wad of dollar bills and tried to hand them to me. "for the cigarette" he said.

    That's the most fun I've had all week...and no, I didn't take it.
    Last edited by peter nap; 09-30-2013 at 06:24 PM.

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    Next line: "Excuse me kind sir, but could you spare some toilet paper?"

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    That'll be $352 bucks ... EXACT CHANGE


  4. #4
    Regular Member Old Virginia Joe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by peter nap View Post
    (1) I was at Barnes and Noble this afternoon. For some reason the bookstore parking lots are prime areas for aggressive panhandlers.

    (2) I was leaning on the car when a punk rockish looking fellow walked up and said "gimme a cigarette". Anyway, I handed him a cigarette. He couldn't see below the hood of the car when he walked around and said gimme a light.
    (1) I figure they see it as prime begging/demanding territory because alot of pansy liberals seem to hang out there, easy targets.

    (2) I never figured YOU to respond positively to some scruffy ass demanding you give him anything! No manners or humility at all from this guy? What gives? Are you getting mellow in your later years? Said it ain't so!
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    A moment of weakness???

    Quote Originally Posted by Old Virginia Joe View Post
    (1) I figure they see it as prime begging/demanding territory because alot of pansy liberals seem to hang out there, easy targets.

    (2) I never figured YOU to respond positively to some scruffy ass demanding you give him anything! No manners or humility at all from this guy? What gives? Are you getting mellow in your later years? Said it ain't so!
    +1

    At least you were wearing a real gun and not the plastic toy Glock. That worried me more than anything else.

  6. #6
    Accomplished Advocate peter nap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old Virginia Joe View Post
    (1) I figure they see it as prime begging/demanding territory because alot of pansy liberals seem to hang out there, easy targets.

    (2) I never figured YOU to respond positively to some scruffy ass demanding you give him anything! No manners or humility at all from this guy? What gives? Are you getting mellow in your later years? Said it ain't so!
    Oh...I have a few soft spots Joe and remember, I spend a lot of my life around scruffy Rednecks. I even get accused of being one myself from time to time.

    I don't mind giving someone a cigarette. My generosity usually stops there but sometimes I'm a sucker for a good sob story.

    Besides, I'm in a real good mood this week. Bow season starts in a 4 days.

  7. #7
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    Cigarette pandhandlers...I get to use a John Wayne line on them, specifically from The Comancheros:

    Lee Marvin's character rolls up a cigarette and offers it to Wayne's character, who declines and indicates that he's a "cigar man".

    I try to say it in the Duke's voice, but the, um, urban opportunists never get the reference.

    On a more serious note, the trouble with that sort of begging is that it gives them an excuse to get within stabbing/sucker punch distance.

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    PM'd you Peter Nap.
    “The constitution shall never be construed… to prevent the people of the united states who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms”

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    Accomplished Advocate peter nap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil_shawn1990 View Post
    PM'd you Peter Nap.
    Got it and if you go to the site, I've already given you an introduction.

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