View Poll Results: Parents handle this correctly

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Thread: Parents rat out their own kids -- police commend them

  1. #1
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    Parents rat out their own kids -- police commend them

    Rather than handling the matter within the family, the parents called the police who, in turn, arrested and charged their daughters — ages 15 and 16 — with permitting a minor to possess alcohol.

    http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013...at-their-home/

    I attached a poll for this one ....

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    I voted no. I'll keep something like that at home and work through it personally.

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    I would NOT have called the police over something that like.

    However, I have a story about grandparents who called cops on their grandkids over a party that I attended and I supported it entirely.

    I grew up in a city that half was a wealthy neighborhood and the other half middle class.

    One night myself and my friends went to a party at a HUGE mansion. There were probably like 300 high school kids there.

    It was pouring rain that night.

    The girl throwing the party was a 15 yr old sophomore and her grandparents were out of town.

    The kids at the party completely trashed the house. They were literally breaking vases and other stuff. The carpets were destroyed. All the alcohol was either consumed or stolen.

    At one point during the party one of the girls friends said she should call the cops and end the party. The girl said no.

    The cops finally came at around midnight and broke it up. When the grandparents were notified they decided to press charges against the girl.

  4. #4
    Campaign Veteran marshaul's Avatar
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    Even if the house is being trashed, the parents/grandparents have nobody to blame but themselves for needing the police to break up a party in their own house.

    At any rate, there is no way the state can possibly do more good than harm in this situation.

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    The miscreant children are de facto emancipated wards of the state and responsible only to the enforcers. Book 'em, Draino, flush the gene pool.

    My offspring, 'Doctor Daughter', never achieved that status, I spanked four times that now would hypothetically be prosecuted as abuse and battery.
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    fro the op linked story.
    In a separate incident on Oct. 1, police arrested another set of parents, Shawn and Christopher Nixon, after more than 100 teenagers were found partying at their home.
    I'd do the same thing. Ya never know what other parents might do. Drinking underage is a big deal, now, 40 years ago, not so much.

  7. #7
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    This site running on an original Pentium processor with the math bug? The poll shows a total of 150%...
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    Quote Originally Posted by OC for ME View Post
    fro the op linked story.I'd do the same thing. Ya never know what other parents might do. Drinking underage is a big deal, now, 40 years ago, not so much.
    About underage drinking per se, I disagree. It is the social context that makes it a big deal, particularly in this case. Here, on a Wisconsin (already notorious for alcoholism and underage) Island, it is arguably without harmful consequence. The other troubles the kids get into do not depend on alcohol. Now sex, that's a different matter ...
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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by moonie View Post
    This site running on an original Pentium processor with the math bug? The poll shows a total of 150%...
    It is a multiple choice poll.
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by moonie View Post
    This site running on an original Pentium processor with the math bug? The poll shows a total of 150%...
    ATM 200% total
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  11. #11
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    Two of the three poll options are not relevant, and there really is no poll question asked. However, considering the source I will merrily skip past that.

    I support what the parents did. I hope that the parents had, at some time prior to this incident, had "the talk" with their kids about under-age drinking. But even if they did not, this is a major violation of trust, regardless if the parents did or did not say "Now, no partying while we are gone" before leaving. Given time to think about it free from peer pressure most kids understand that throwing the house open as a free-for-all drinking party is not a Good IdeaTM.

    I am opposed to draconian laws that prohibit all drinking by those under age 21. Parents, I believe, have a moral responsibility to teach their kids how to drink responsibly, and often that needs to go beyond example to experience. When the parents are in control there should be little chance of things getting out of hand.

    But when kids get together and put not only themselves but others in jeopardy the hammer needs to be dropped. The kids are old enough to be charged as adilts in criminal court. Hopefully the court will not arbitrarily dump them into prison where they most likely will not learn anything good, but I also hope that the court finds a way to help them see all of the harm that could have come from their throwing a teenage drinking party. My personal favorite sentence is community service at a hospital ER on Friday and Saturday nights between 11 PM and 3 AM and community service at a rehab facility where they are assigned to deal with folks who have mesed themselves up by drinking. Seeing the mangled bodies is sort of an eye-opener, but seeing the lifelong effects of both DUI crashes and chirossis/brain damage from long-term drinking puts the toothpicks in the eyelids so they cannot avoid learning what inappropriate drinking does to both the individual, their family, and the community.

    stay safe.
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  12. #12
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    ....long-term drinking to excess....

    Son, never trust a man who doesn’t drink because he’s probably a self-righteous sort, a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time. Some of them are good men, but in the name of goodness, they cause most of the suffering in the world. They’re the judges, the meddlers. And, son, never trust a man who drinks but refuses to get drunk. They’re usually afraid of something deep down inside, either that they’re a coward or a fool or mean and violent. You can’t trust a man who’s afraid of himself. But sometimes, son, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet. The chances are that he is learning something about humility and his natural human foolishness, about how to survive himself. It’s damned hard for a man to take himself too seriously when he’s heaving his guts into a dirty toilet bowl. - James Crumley

    http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/620132-son-never-trust-a-man-who-doesn-t-drink-because-he-s
    I don't trust a man who don't drink either.

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    An amusing coincidence, you citing GoodReads.com as I am just tuning up my participation there, indeed my account is open in another tab.
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    I don't trust a man who doesn't drink either... cause I don't trust anyone I just met. This James Crumley presents an odd situation though.

    Mr. Crumley states: "And, son, never trust a man who drinks but refuses to get drunk."

    Then says "But sometimes, son, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet. The chances are that he is learning something about humility and his natural human foolishness, about how to survive himself."

    Do you know what he's supposed to be learning about humility and his natural human foolishness? Not to get drunk anymore!
    Last edited by georg jetson; 10-25-2013 at 12:02 PM.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nightmare View Post
    About underage drinking per se, I disagree. It is the social context that makes it a big deal, particularly in this case. Here, on a Wisconsin (already notorious for alcoholism and underage) Island, it is arguably without harmful consequence. The other troubles the kids get into do not depend on alcohol. Now sex, that's a different matter ...
    Absolutely. I did quite a bit of "underage drinking" in countries where it as as normal as the sun rising. Strangely, they didn't have the real (or imagined) problems with underage drinking that we are familiar with here (possible exception being the UK, but their culture is all kinds of twisted and backwards, anyway).

    I contend that the parents are the problem in this case. I have precisely zero doubt that parents who would do this were not teaching the proper life skills prior to their overreaction.
    Last edited by marshaul; 10-25-2013 at 01:08 PM.

  16. #16
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    Interesting. At the risk of derailing the topic further (which frankly doesn't bother me given the source of the topic and lack of thought that went into the poll question and responses...) I'll add that I do not base my trust or other opinion of another person on whether or not they drink. I would base some of my opinion of a person on whether and how often and for what reasons they get drunk, however. Life-altering event happens and go out and tie one on? OK, I get it. It's Saturday so as usual go out for a few drinks with friends and as usual don't know when to stop and as a result get stinking drunk, as usual? That's a different matter entirely. On the other hand, if that person realizes they are unable to make the decision to stop once they've made the decision to start, and decides to not drink any more, then I can respect that.
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  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nightmare View Post
    An amusing coincidence, you citing GoodReads.com as I am just tuning up my participation there, indeed my account is open in another tab.
    Indeed, a coincidence it is.

    Remember Shawn and Christopher Nixon and their plight, I'm sure the parents in the OP did.
    But considering what happened in the same town just two weeks before, they might have been taking precautions.
    .....whatcha gunna do when they come for you?

  18. #18
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    I suppose I should start by saying that I am not a parent, so I understand if my point of view doesn't hold a certain weight with you... But IMO, the parents made the wrong decision. I would have absolutely handled it differently and would have absolutely not gotten the police involved for the drinking only.

    If I were the DA in that district, I'd probably be trying to find something to charge the parents with. They planned on leaving these two female barely-teenagers at home completely unsupervised for at least 3 full days? WTF?

    Quote Originally Posted by skidmark View Post
    ... Given time to think about it free from peer pressure most kids understand that throwing the house open as a free-for-all drinking party is not a Good IdeaTM.
    ...
    lol... I'm not going to say you're wrong... but... thinking that any kid between the age of 15 and whatever-year-they-graduate that attends a public or private school is actually going the make the "right" decision to not use a parent-less house on a weekend for some type of party or get-together that will likely include some form of illegal activity (underage smoking, underage drinking, marijuana, etc.) is just a little naive in this day and time. Maybe I just assume parents know more than they do... But of ALL the people (in the relevant age group) I know, I can literally think of ONE that I'd think might not participate in a get-together at which there was underage drinking. One person.
    Last edited by stealthyeliminator; 10-25-2013 at 01:49 PM.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by marshaul View Post
    Absolutely. I did quite a bit of "underage drinking" in countries where it as as normal as the sun rising. Strangely, they didn't have the real (or imagined) problems with underage drinking that we are familiar with here (possible exception being the UK, ...
    I was reared in sight of (from the roof of the house) Paul Masson's first factory-winery, but we drank Ed Gillick's Best, on the table from 10 y.o. I remember going with my father to refill our jugs and the dry and dusty smell of the tuns room. My parents, born in 1924, were very hip.
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  20. #20
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    Interesting. The the parents of the kids gunned down in Sandy Hook need to be held to account as well because they placed their kids in a facility that could not and would not provide adequate protection. Except those parents that advocated for the arming of school staff.

    The school staff should be held to account for failing to protect the kids.

    The city/county/state should be held to account for not protecting the kids.

    Slippery slope.....

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    Quote Originally Posted by OC for ME View Post
    Slippery slope.....
    Wahaa! Wheee, it's not the slide that hurts, but the stop at the bottom.
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  22. #22
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    I meant the "If I were the DA"... very.. figuratively?

    I'd never be a DA and in actuality wouldn't be trying to charge the parents, but I think that the parents made a series of pretty stupid decisions and were probably being pretty naive. Of course, I don't know the family in question at all and can't speak to what kind of relationship the parents had with the kids, so I really can't say whether or not the trust was ill-placed by the parents. Just based on my personal experience... it sounds like the parents were being naive and perhaps a little negligent regardless of the fact that there was a party.
    Last edited by stealthyeliminator; 10-25-2013 at 01:56 PM.

  23. #23
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    Becoming a parent is not a 21 year sentence to "life without a life." I tell my teenager, no body comes over. If I find out, life as you know it ends. The kid says "don't worry dad." Ya gotta trust them sometime. It does not state in the story if this was the first time the kids did this or not. Nor does it state that that was the first time the parents left the kids home alone.

    I do not subscribe to the "teenagers, whatcha gunna do, they'll make mistakes" line of reasoning.....nothing but an excuse to get your kid(s) to like you. Not me, I ain't my kids friend and they damn well know it. I love them as a parent and they know that they can confide in me. But, I am their father and I will not tolerate any transgressions of the few fundamental rules that I impose upon them.

    I have seen what parents as friends first does to teenagers, not pretty in my view. And not in my house. Parents always find out if the parents are willing, or inclined, to look and listen.

    The parents did the right thing in my book, especially given recent history in that town.

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    Quote Originally Posted by skidmark View Post
    The kids are old enough to be charged as adilts in criminal court. Hopefully the court will not arbitrarily dump them into prison where they most likely will not learn anything good, but I also hope that the court finds a way to help them see all of the harm that could have come from their throwing a teenage drinking party. .
    Good observation ... criminal charges as adults ... would you want to be the cause of a life-long mark on your own children's record.

    No good college, no good job, etc.

  25. #25
    Regular Member stealthyeliminator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by davidmcbeth View Post
    Good observation ... criminal charges as adults ... would you want to be the cause of a life-long mark on your own children's record.

    No good college, no good job, etc.
    Twas one of the many many reasons, IMO, that the parent's decision was a bad one.

    I don't think parents should be their kid's friends either. But I think that calling the cops on them for something like drinking while you're out of town is extremely twisted, and certainly not "parenting". Just my opinion.

    As far as having to trust them sometime... Well... All I'm saying, is that I'd almost be more surprised to learn they didn't have some type of get-together with some form of illegal activity. It's the norm. Expecting anything else, even of "good" children, I think is a little naive. Peer pressure coupled with lack of real-world-experience and less-than-malicious intentions will lead to nearly any kid these days making an exception in their moral guidebook for a low-key party with a handful of friends while their parents are out of town. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying what people should expect to happen based on what happens every single weekend. The article wasn't written because some teens had a drinking party, the article was written because the parents called the police. The parents calling the police, and that call resulting in the arrest of their barely-teenagers, was the news-worthy, unorthodox part. The underage drinking? Not even close to newsworthy, it's so normal. Which just solidifies my position that the parents should probably not be nearly as surprised as the story makes them out to have been. The most mellow, trustworthy, good-hearted, church-raised middle schooler you know can go to a public highschool and be growing their own marijuana by the time they're a sophomore. I've seen it happen. Regardless of what the children did right or wrong, what they didn't do was anything very surprising.

    So the idea that the children participated in some sort of radical, out-of-the-norm behaviour that the average parent wouldn't/shouldn't be able to handle and discipline for on their own is incorrect and dangerously so.
    Last edited by stealthyeliminator; 10-25-2013 at 03:37 PM.

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