Advise and help?

So my wonderful wife is getting interested in guns and has been thinking about a gun for OC. She has been shooting for a bit any loves my .22 and .44 rifles but is newer to hand guns We went to a couple of shops and let her handle a few to see what she liked (can't find a rental range to shoot some). She had her mind set on a j-frame, not my first choice for a first gun, but ok I can work with her. Don't get me wrong, love a snubbie but a little harder to shoot accurately for a first timer, but practice,practice,practice. Now we hit another shop and, wait for it, the person behind the counter in a moment of poor judgement decides a first time woman shooter with smallish hands should like this and hands her a .38 cal cobra derringer with pretty pink grips and pink holster. Her eyes lit up, kool aid smile and the this is the one honey. Every time I try to explain the down side she looks like she's gonna cry. Any advise on a good way to change a mind without a fight or tears. I'm proud she wants to start shooting and carrying and I don't want to discourage her from it but I am concerned that a little hand cannon with a 30lb trigger pull and no accuracy, not to mention the other things wrong with it for OC or CC as a primary, will do it for me. So, if anyone else has had to talk a loved one off the ledge I would greatly appreciate some ideas. Thank you.

rs3604 said:

So my wonderful wife is getting interested in guns and has been thinking about a gun for OC. She has been shooting for a bit any loves my .22 and .44 rifles but is newer to hand guns We went to a couple of shops and let her handle a few to see what she liked (can't find a rental range to shoot some). She had her mind set on a j-frame, not my first choice for a first gun, but ok I can work with her. Don't get me wrong, love a snubbie but a little harder to shoot accurately for a first timer, but practice,practice,practice. Now we hit another shop and, wait for it, the person behind the counter in a moment of poor judgement decides a first time woman shooter with smallish hands should like this and hands her a .38 cal cobra derringer with pretty pink grips and pink holster. Her eyes lit up, kool aid smile and the this is the one honey. Every time I try to explain the down side she looks like she's gonna cry. Any advise on a good way to change a mind without a fight or tears. I'm proud she wants to start shooting and carrying and I don't want to discourage her from it but I am concerned that a little hand cannon with a 30lb trigger pull and no accuracy, not to mention the other things wrong with it for OC or CC as a primary, will do it for me. So, if anyone else has had to talk a loved one off the ledge I would greatly appreciate some ideas. Thank you.

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My advice would be to find someone that owns some of the guns she liked (ESPECIALLY that "cute little derringer") to shoot them. If that isn't possible, show her some YouTube videos of GIRLS shooting the guns (I've heard great things about the Range Time with Cory & Erika videos; the channel belongs to cory07ink).
Also, MAKE SURE you show her a video of a girl whose bf or husband decided to be an a$$ and give her a gun with high recoil (like a Derringer) to shoot for her first range day. DON'T scare her with any other videos; you only want her to see the recoil of that "cute little Derringer".
If she still has her heart set on that "cute little Derringer", you may need to buy it so she can learn firsthand that "cute little gun" does not necessarily equal "good self-defense gun".

I would ALWAYS suggest a semi-auto for someone's first firearm. People think that they are soo difficult to use and complicated but they are actually very simple and can be very reliable.

I would only suggest a revolver for "bearcat" cartridges and other specialized roles.

I have had women look at the Walther PK380, the Sig 238/938 and the Berretta PX4 favorably, maybe show her some of these.

If you can, persuade her to get a 9mm over most other rounds, practice is key and they are still one of the least expensive cartridges.

Rusty, thanks never occurred to me to try YouTube. 09j, my same thought, not my first choose for a first time gun would rather see her with a semi as well, but at this point if she would just get back to the revolver we can work with that.

rs3604 said:

Rusty, thanks never occurred to me to try YouTube. 09j, my same thought, not my first choose for a first time gun would rather see her with a semi as well, but at this point if she would just get back to the revolver we can work with that.

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Glad it helped.
Don't discount the CZ 75B. My mother (and I) loved the gun: perfect ergonomics and its all-steel construction made recoil nearly non-existent, even in her hands (it was her first time shooting). We tried the 9mm.

I suggest you let her get what will get her excited about carry .. even if its a crap gun at first.

You can buy another one later.


Her 2nd gun, in the future?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4f/S&W500.jpg

The ol' S&W 500 .... maybe

First, there is nothing wrong with a revolver other than capacity, IMHO.

Second, how accurate does a gun need to be at self-defense distances?

They are actually pretty accurate. See this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tied-t1fFsk

Third, she likes it.

My advice would be to go with what makes her happy.

MyWifeSaidYes said:

First, there is nothing wrong with a revolver other than capacity, IMHO.

Second, how accurate does a gun need to be at self-defense distances?

They are actually pretty accurate. See this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tied-t1fFsk

Third, she likes it.

My advice would be to go with what makes her happy.

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This ^, in spades.

Besides, if she finds that the derringer is not to her liking you will have a permanent, built-in comeback to her whenever she starts asking you why you want another gun. "Because I want it" takes on a whole new meaning.

stay safe.

David, I thought about that and was concerned that it might put her off all together. As for the 500 well, if she don't like it then I guess I'll have a new deer gun. Mywifesaidyes, I love revolvers and plan on getting a few. Just a little concerned about the accuracy but, practice,practice,practice like I said in my op. Skidmark, never thought of the come back, good looking out . Rusty, I would love to get her into a cz.

The Walther PK380 is a great gun for the first-time female or male shooter that's just getting started. My best friend's first gun was the PK380 ( I didn't recommend it though) and he liked it quite well until it came time to break it down to clean internally. It was then that his mind changed and he learned why I didn't recommend this particular gun to him in the first place. Don't get me wrong, it really is a great gun, small but not too small, great grip and good feel but alas, it is a poly gun and to field strip it, you MUST have this inane hard plastic key thing to take it apart, BIG NO-NO in my book.

But he finally learned his lesson about not listening to advise given and decided to trade it off for a guitar and so about a month ago, as he was taking classes that would lead him to a career that would take him away from this area, he decided once again that he needed a suitable sidearm but this time he heeded my advise and went with a 9mm that was larger and with a bit more heft to it though it is still a poly gun, it is a nice and reasonably priced new gun from a Turkish military contractor (I had no input on that side of it though. *LOL).

So, you could use this as an example of people not listening and learning a lesson the hard way.

P.S. If you're near or going to be in the Lexington area, check out Bud's, they have a great rental and range.

I will throw out the Kahr pm9/cm9 as a contender. I kept trying to steer my wife toward it but she fell in love with the looks of the sig p290. After shooting her sister's Kahr she decided she likes it a LOT better than her sig. BUT, like everyone is saying, you should let her make her mistakes if she cannot be talked out of them.