Legal question regarding parenting plan

45 Fan · Mar 28, 2014

So, I have read through this. I was 16 when my parents divorced and it was a very stable split. I was old enough to make my own decisions and they allowed that.

Did I get to see my abusive, paranoid schitzo, former marine father as little as i would have liked? No.

I think both parents should stop and take the CHILD into their thoughts.
How old is your child?
Did you make agreed ground rules for raising your child?

Both parents need to be conscious of these things. The father shouldnt make plans on thursdays and should contact the mother in advance. The deal clearly places the child with the Mother for the Majority of time, which means it is the Fathers place to get his house(not just literally) in order. He needs to contact and confirm the pick-up time in advance.

Your childs school gets off at '3:00 pm', he should aim pickups for that time or make the necessary plans with the mother. [The Time is for this example]

As a regular pattern, the mother should be able to plan things around it, without fear of it being altered without good notice and sometimes 24 hours doesnt cut it.

OC for ME · Mar 28, 2014

Document everything, every little event. paranoid? Maybe. It is for your protection and the protection of the child. If a parent goes off the rails a judge gives the rational and meticulous parent the benefit of the doubt in his courtroom. Family court judges are like petty kings, yet a king he is.

Rusty Young Man · Mar 30, 2014

OC for ME said:
Document everything, every little event. paranoid? Maybe. It is for your protection and the protection of the child. If a parent goes off the rails a judge gives the rational and meticulous parent the benefit of the doubt in his courtroom. Family court judges are like petty kings, yet a king he is.

+1 to all of it.
Just watching what my cousin went through, is going through, and will continue to go through makes me wish I'd recorded all the asinine things his ex-wife said/did/insinuated. Would have helped A LOT when she was granted full temporary custody of the kids and he had to defend himself against her false (to put it politely

) accusations that he only fed the children sweets and microwave food. Projection much?

jegoodin · Mar 30, 2014

Did I miss someone stating what time school is dismissed on Thursday? Because that is the time the father's time starts ticking.

What is customary has nothing to do with it particularly if she is going to start invoking the letter of the agreement.

The agreement sets up a window from between when the child is released from school until 7pm. So unless the child's school releases just after midnight on Thursdays (or noon depending on which 1201 you were referring to) the father could not argue 1201. I'm guessing school releases around 2pm? If so, it would appear that the father is well within the agreement to propose that as an alternative.

sudden valley gunner · Mar 30, 2014

jegoodin said:
Did I miss someone stating what time school is dismissed on Thursday? Because that is the time the father's time starts ticking.

What is customary has nothing to do with it particularly if she is going to start invoking the letter of the agreement.

The agreement sets up a window from between when the child is released from school until 7pm. So unless the child's school releases just after midnight on Thursdays (or noon depending on which 1201 you were referring to) the father could not argue 1201. I'm guessing school releases around 2pm? If so, it would appear that the father is well within the agreement to propose that as an alternative.

Not necessarily. I had a similar set up, so without the documents it would be hard to say. But they tend to be like lots of government work intentionally vague. MY orders said my days were Thursday -Sunday, then it specified that during school days I was to pick up after school. That doesn't necessarily mean that it applied during non school days.

The main thing is hopefully both parents would just be flexible and understanding.

solus · Mar 30, 2014

at this point one should presume the subject should be considered moot since Aaron wrote at ~0159 Thursday morning the day of the schedule conflict. Basically four days ago

which leads me to this incredible observation:

one thing in the majority of these types of situations is the mind reading capability, or lack therein, of the participants, e.g., when did the father tell the ex he was going to break 'tradition' and not pick 'little susie' up at the normal time of 1730? and when did the ex tell the father of 'little susie' they would be expecting him at so and so time and place to pick up their child?

bottom line where was the consideration by both parties to communicate over this simple task. this contention is going to get worse as the years go by, remember the child is caught in the middle of this!!

Remember, these two individuals are divorced because of some unknown reason they could not fix or would not work at fixing in their marriage so they split, ended it with an innocent child in their disastrous wake!

so you truly expect they or anybody in this situation, are going to truly behave as adults in the aftermath ~ court order not withstanding? I am sure you will, if you pull back the veil, discover the divorce was contentious and a lot of BS was slung by both sides about infidelity, oh he did this or she did that and so forth and you may discern neither parent wanted the child but were goaded into accepting the responsibility by their own parents or other unconscious emotionalized motivations.

finally, listening to the war stories being provided to date by the male readership of this group, i believe (statistically proven actually) the situation is pervasive throughout the united states and if the males have not observed the behaviour of the family courts, except in the most grievous situations, provide the children to be reared by the female.

sudden valley gunner · Mar 30, 2014

solus said:
at this point one should presume the subject should be considered moot since Aaron wrote at ~0159 Thursday morning the day of the schedule conflict. Basically four days ago

which leads me to this incredible observation:

one thing in the majority of these types of situations is the mind reading capability, or lack therein, of the participants, e.g., when did the father tell the ex he was going to break 'tradition' and not pick 'little susie' up at the normal time of 1730? and when did the ex tell the father of 'little susie' they would be expecting him at so and so time and place to pick up their child?

bottom line where was the consideration by both parties to communicate over this simple task. this contention is going to get worse as the years go by, remember the child is caught in the middle of this!!

Remember, these two individuals are divorced because of some unknown reason they could not fix or would not work at fixing in their marriage so they split, ended it with an innocent child in their disastrous wake!

so you truly expect they or anybody in this situation, are going to truly behave as adults in the aftermath ~ court order not withstanding? I am sure you will, if you pull back the veil, discover the divorce was contentious and a lot of BS was slung by both sides about infidelity, oh he did this or she did that and so forth and you may discern neither parent wanted the child but were goaded into accepting the responsibility by their own parents or other unconscious emotionalized motivations.

finally, listening to the war stories being provided to date by the male readership of this group, i believe (statistically proven actually) the situation is pervasive throughout the united states and if the males have not observed the behaviour of the family courts, except in the most grievous situations, provide the children to be reared by the female.

Umm the courts have a huge bias toward females, and often it has to do with who can they collect money from.

solus · Mar 30, 2014

i'm sorry i forgot my cites for the statement i made about the family courts...

http://www.divorcenet.com/resources...-men-why-women-get-child-custody-over-80-time

quote nolo:
As it turns out, many divorcing parents agree that the mother will have custody after a separation or divorce and that the father will exercise reasonable visitation. This sometimes happens because the parents agree that the mother has more time, a greater inclination, or a better understanding of the children's daily needs. But it can also be because fathers presume that mothers will be awarded custody or because the mother is more tenacious in seeking custody. unquote

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/child-custody-faq-29054-3.html

quote mediate: 65% divorced mothers receive no child support... unquote

https://www.mediate.com/articles/psych.cfm

the last link is quite informative from a mental health perspective...good reading actually!!

ipse

Legal question regarding parenting plan

45 Fan

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OC for ME

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Rusty Young Man

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jegoodin

Newbie

sudden valley gunner

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solus

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sudden valley gunner

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solus

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