Father tells me that I'm not welcome around him while I have my gun in my possession

Grim_Night · Sep 12, 2014

Talked with my father on the phone today and he told me flat out that he no longer wants me to have my gun with me whenever he is around. He feels that he doesn't want his life to be threatened by other people that may see me with my firearm and may decide to do me harm and him getting caught in the crossfire (no pun intended).

He brought this up because it seems that the couple that he is living with were offended because I didn't ask them for permission before entering their home with my loaded firearm when I dropped my father off last friday. Mind you, the couple were inside and I hadn't eve seen them before entering the house which my father invited me into. It now seems that I am no longer welcome in their home period because I didn't respect them in this matter. They never once said a single word to me while I was there. The topic of firearms never came up for the less then 5 minutes that I was there helping my father to bring things in from the car.

My father seems to think that I am showing him disrespect by carrying my firearm when I am around him and he now wants me to either leave it at home or he won't be around me.

At this point, I'm super ticked off because he has been around me and my firearm for the last 2 years and this is the first time he has told me anything like this. He has shown his dissatisfaction with the fact that I carry but he has always respected my choice to do so.

Alsherry · Sep 12, 2014

How's your mother feel about it?

Fallschirjmäger · Sep 12, 2014

"Dad, I carry because I respect you; I carry because you're important to me and I'd be devastated without you and the lessons you've taught me over the years. If anything happened to you and I could have prevented it but wasn't allowed to I'd be inconsolable."

To wear a gun in someone else's house is to say "I'll defend this house and those in it as though they were my own" to a guest in your home, you're saying "I'll defend you as though you were my own family." Anyone who objects is leveling the deadliest insult possible, "I won't trust you until you render yourself defenseless."

deanf · Sep 12, 2014

To wear a gun in someone else's house is to say "I'll defend this house as though it were my own" when a guest sees you with a weapon, you're saying "I'll defend you as though you were my own family." Anyone who objects is leveling the deadliest insult possible, "I won't trust you until you render yourself defenseless."

Of course that's just your opinion. Not everyone feels that way.

FattyKrack · Sep 12, 2014

deanf said:
Of course that's just your opinion. Not everyone feels that way.[/I][/I][/I]

I thought it was beautiful.

Grapeshot · Sep 12, 2014

Those that we love, know best how to hurt us.

Those that love us well, don't go there.

It is the way off things that the student shall become the teacher.

Grim_Night · Sep 12, 2014

I'm looking for input as to how to deal with this situation.

Through all the problems that I have had in the last 2 years regarding my housing and the colleges I have attended, my father has stood behind me regarding my carrying and my standing up for myself, my protected rights and the rights of others. But then he suddenly becomes a hypocrite and gives me an ultimatum, either the gun goes when I'm around him or I do. So now, I either forgo everything I have stood up for in the past 2 years and acquiesce to his demand or he will refuse to be around me.

Alsherry said:
How's your mother feel about it?

My parents are divorced. My mother and I don't communicate much at all lately.

badkarma · Sep 12, 2014

You are a grown man right?

FattyKrack · Sep 13, 2014

Grim_Night said:
I'm looking for input as to how to deal with this situation.

Through all the problems that I have had in the last 2 years regarding my housing and the colleges I have attended, my father has stood behind me regarding my carrying and my standing up for myself, my protected rights and the rights of others. But then he suddenly becomes a hypocrite and gives me an ultimatum, either the gun goes when I'm around him or I do. So now, I either forgo everything I have stood up for in the past 2 years and acquiesce to his demand or he will refuse to be around me.

My parents are divorced. My mother and I don't communicate much at all lately.

I don't know your pops like you will ever know your pops. My dad is California raised. The super liberal rich boy California raised. He accepts my open carry, home, street, where have you. Hard to relate.
In your case your dad seems to have caved to peer pressure; the social anxiety from his roommates/tenants/ landlords w/e has now changed his mind because someone immediately close to him has a hard time with it and is scared of an inanimate object. I respect my elders, but that doesn't mean that I endure all of their dumbass thought processes. You need to confront the house owners in person and address the issue and apologize if you must, and then talk to your dad. Tell him that he is choosing to not speak to his son over a god given right, and that the opinion of others should not affect the integrity of who you are.

Rusty Young Man · Sep 13, 2014

Fallschirmjäger said:
To wear a gun in someone else's house is to say "I'll defend this house and those in it as though they were my own" to a guest in your home, you're saying "I'll defend you as though you were my own family." Anyone who objects is leveling the deadliest insult possible, "I won't trust you until you render yourself defenseless."

I'd forgotten it was you who wrote that little snippet; I've quoted it (from memory, and badly as well) several times to my loved ones and on posts here.

deanf said:
Of course that's just your opinion. Not everyone feels that way.[/I][/I][/I]

So you would enter someone's home against their wishes, and you'd invite someone you dislike into your home?

Grim_Night said:
I'm looking for input as to how to deal with this situation.
SNIP...
So now, I either forgo everything I have stood up for in the past 2 years and acquiesce to his demand or he will refuse to be around me.

Not in dealing with my parents, but I did tell this to my aunt and uncle (who I would consider to be fairly close): If you'd like, I won't bring my sidearm around you. Heck, I don't think you'll ever have to worry about me putting you in danger somehow).

They saw how firm my convictions were, and they know the biggest reason I carry when I visit is because of the three little angels my cousin (yes, some Hispanic stereotypes are based on reality

) has. They may have also picked up on the fact that I have made a promise to myself to never let any more harm come to those three little ones if I can help it. So while they may bring it up (indirectly) from time to time, I give them a direct response that makes my position known in no uncertain terms.

Hope this helps inform your decision, Grim_KNight.

Alpine · Sep 13, 2014

Grim_Night said:
Talked with my father on the phone today and he told me flat out that he no longer wants me to have my gun with me whenever he is around. He feels that he doesn't want his life to be threatened by other people that may see me with my firearm and may decide to do me harm and him getting caught in the crossfire (no pun intended).

He brought this up because it seems that the couple that he is living with were offended because I didn't ask them for permission before entering their home with my loaded firearm when I dropped my father off last friday. Mind you, the couple were inside and I hadn't eve seen them before entering the house which my father invited me into. It now seems that I am no longer welcome in their home period because I didn't respect them in this matter. They never once said a single word to me while I was there. The topic of firearms never came up for the less then 5 minutes that I was there helping my father to bring things in from the car.

My father seems to think that I am showing him disrespect by carrying my firearm when I am around him and he now wants me to either leave it at home or he won't be around me.

At this point, I'm super ticked off because he has been around me and my firearm for the last 2 years and this is the first time he has told me anything like this. He has shown his dissatisfaction with the fact that I carry but he has always respected my choice to do so.

Sorry your father did this to you. He was respectful of your carry until people outside your family pressured him not to be. That tells you where he places you on his value ladder. Below them.

My advice would be tell your dad that you love him, but he needs to respect your Constitutional rights. Look at everything you've gone through, you really going to let some liberal hoplophobes get to you through your own dad?

Grim_Night · Sep 13, 2014

Most everything that has been said in this thread are in fact my reasons for doing what I do. I'm just not as eloquent in voicing these thoughts to those that I care about.

I carry so that I have the ability to protect myself and those around me if the need arises.

I carry to exercise my rights.

I carry to show the general public that normal people doing normal everyday tasks can and do carry firearms and pose no danger to those around them.

And most of all, I carry because if something happens that requires an armed defense where I am at that moment, I will be one of the first people to be able to present that armed defense without having to wait for police to arrive who have been protected by the courts saying that police "have no duty to protect".

One statement my father made that sticks with me, (paraphrased) "You don't go anywhere that your life is in danger on a regular basis."

Tell that to the people in the movie theater in Aurora, Colorado. Or the students and instructors at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, Virginia. Or maybe a bit more close to home, the Tacoma mall shooting on November 20, 2005. And then there is Lakewood Washington where I live. The are where my apartment is is known as "chocolate city" or "Lakehood"

A quote from http://www.bestplaces.net/backfence...81C3-0483E4142545&city=Lakewood_WA&p=55338038

Lakewood, lakewood, LakeHood! I have lived here my entire life, and it has some of the worst and best neighborhoods in the state. From the gang/drug/crime areas of chocolate city, lakeview, tillicum,etc. to the rich/quiet/safe neighborhoods of oakbrook, gravelly lake, etc. but sadly i have happened to lived in the bad parts, so my personal experiance of the city is this: It was poor and full of crime, cheap motels, n strip clubs, before it was incorporated in 96, now its still full or crime, cheap motels, strip clubs, but they just make you pay more to live here! for a "suburb"...pretty bad. average murders per year are 10, tacoma 17, which is bad since tacoma is an urban city n lakewood about 1/4 the population aka lakewood #1 murder rate city in pierce county.Compton, ca averages 10 murders a year as well, haha. but again there are very quiet, nice parts as well, so ppl that grew up in those parts might have a very different perspective than mine.

These are all places very similar to where I have spent my time. But these are not dangerous places right?

FMJ 911 · Sep 13, 2014

This is a touchy subject, but I can tell you that my Dad hates OC. He badgers me whenever I do it, but I just do it anyway.

Standing tall and continuing to do what you like will show people you're not afraid of what they think. Sure, some folks will be outright upset that you didn't do what they wanted, but more people will see that you didn't cave under pressure and have more respect for you.

Follow your heart, Don't ever let other people make your decisions for you.

badkarma · Sep 13, 2014

FMJ 911 said:
This is a touchy subject, but I can tell you that my Dad hates OC. He badgers me whenever I do it, but I just do it anyway.

Standing tall and continuing to do what you like will show people you're not afraid of what they think. Sure, some folks will be outright upset that you didn't do what they wanted, but more people will see that you didn't cave under pressure and have more respect for you.

Follow your heart, Don't ever let other people make your decisions for you.

And that is what adults should do. Good for you buddy.

twoskinsonemanns · Sep 13, 2014

I carry to keep safe my very most precious possessions...My family.
It's not easy but I would not cease that practice for any reason. Out of respect I would abide his wishes and stop being around him when I carry.

skidmark · Sep 13, 2014

[strike]If your dad will not respect your decision to carry, then drop him like a hot potato. You don't need the grief he is causing.[/strike] Maybe a "little bit" too harsh?

Respect you dad's wishes, no matter how much it pains you.

Stop the car at the curb and phone him to let him know you are outside. (Be sure to let him know if he'll need an umbrella or a jacket/sweater if the weather calls for it.)

At some point children realize that they and their parents have differing views of the world - be it politics, religion, or eating bran flakes. At some later point adults realize that it is OK and that loving or being loved does not hinge on always pleasing the other person.

stay safe.

The Truth · Sep 13, 2014

In my personal opinion, this may shock some, but you should have checked with the property owner first.

jsanchez · Sep 13, 2014

You know my mom pulled that **** with my sister when she started living with the man she loves. My sister just stayed away from her.

If my dad pulled that ****, I would tell him I love my gun more than I love you, call me when you change your mind.

Your dad is the one with the problem, when he wants to change his mind have him call you, otherwise adios.

And why does your dad have to live with those people anyway, why doesn't he have his own place?

HK_dave · Sep 13, 2014

f' him. live your life. when he really wants to see you he'll get over the gun thing.

Grapeshot · Sep 13, 2014

The Truth said:
In my personal opinion, this may shock some, but you should have checked with the property owner first.

The OP was invited in by an occupant/tenant who knew he was carrying.

Who amongst us asks for permission with each threshold we look to cross? I can honestly say that I have never asked. Yes I presume that if I am acceptable, then the way I am dressed is also.

Father tells me that I'm not welcome around him while I have my gun in my possession

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