Father tells me that I'm not welcome around him while I have my gun in my possession

I take this to mean he is telling me to choose between having him as my father in my life and my firearm and my principles and beliefs.

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Then it sounds to me like your father has already made the decision for you. Fathers die, but your principles follow you to the grave and beyond.

Sounds like your father is buying into a bit of anti-gun paranoia. These people may be nice in every other way but they are spreading the rhetoric that one hears so much these days regarding guns, and your dad is falling for it; hook, line and sinker. I'm sure the fact that these people own the roof over his head doesn't help.

Tell your dad you love him and that you'll be there when he can accept that you are his son, gun owner and all. Don't burn the bridge, but show that you're a man who will stand by what he believes in.

We don't always get along with our parents, but if your dad is half the man you seem to think he is, he should respect you for your conviction.

Wow. A lot of advice from a lot of people. We make compromises everyday. At work, in our married lives, etc.. You should base your decision on what is most important to you; carrying a gun, or leaving the gun in the car and spending time with your father? You may regret drawing a line in the sand and not respecting your father's wishes, Or you might be willing to bend a little in order to spend more time with him. I don't know I'm just a guy on the internet. Of all the responses, I like SFCRetired's best. Good luck.

Does he visit you at your home?

what in the world have i miss'd Grim? you are whining about one fone call from your father and yet you have FAILED to pick up the fone and say hey let's met and discuss what you mentioned? now starbucks probably isn't a good idea based on their current phobia about firearms but instead of this woe is me crap, pull your pants up and call the man you call your father and have a conversation with him about anything in the world, just open a dialogue like two adults do.

what the devil is so hard about that concept for goodness sakes? if he tells you to leave the firearm at home or in the car, you have your answer don't you and you then switch modes knowing you won't get any more birthday or Christmas presents from him and it means both your lives move on. be cordial don't get p1$$y and wish him well...

ipse

Well Said

skidmark said:

[strike]If your dad will not respect your decision to carry, then drop him like a hot potato. You don't need the grief he is causing.[/strike] Maybe a "little bit" too harsh?

Respect you dad's wishes, no matter how much it pains you.

Stop the car at the curb and phone him to let him know you are outside. (Be sure to let him know if he'll need an umbrella or a jacket/sweater if the weather calls for it.)

At some point children realize that they and their parents have differing views of the world - be it politics, religion, or eating bran flakes. At some later point adults realize that it is OK and that loving or being loved does not hinge on always pleasing the other person.

stay safe.

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We may not like what people say, but we need to respect others' request on THEIR property.

...Doesn't mean you have to go on their property.

Same when it comes to private businesses stating that they don't allow OC on their premises...

Good luck!

It does sound like he is delivering an ultimatum. My first instinct would be to ask him why he thinks that way or what caused him to change his tune. When asking the question it may be better to acquiesce or have the conversation on the phone. It wouldn't hurt to correct him about feeling like he'd be caught in the crossfire.

I have an understanding with my gf - who is uncomfortable around guns and is really uncomfortable when I OC. I asked her if she trusted me. I told her I am thorough about understanding the law, having adequate training, responses to queries, etc., described carrying a firearm as being pacifist (when all else fails, the way to restore peace is to stand your ground and stop the threat), and that I could live with the consequences of using a firearm (even if I failed) more than I could live with the consequences of having no ability to protect myself (and those I care about) at all. She understands and respects why carry is important to me, but she is still disinterested and uncomfortable with it.

Lastly, those in private residences have every right to ask you not to be armed in their home; I would respect that by disarming or leaving. I agree with the logic in the comic from above, but people have the right to be illogical and insulting.

Grim_Night said:

I said that I paraphrased what he said. He was telling me that he didn't want to put his life at risk because somebody else may see my firearm and want to "test" me and see if I was "quick -draw-mcgraw" or something to that effect and that he didn't want to be caught in the middle.

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"Hi dad, that's a concern some people who dont regularly carry have, but have you actually heard of this ever occurring? Do you know how many unarmed people have been robbed or assaulted? What do you think is more than likely going to happen, someone challenging me since I'm carrying or we become victims of a robbery or assault?"

My mother and I don't speak anymore over a considerable disagreement about the course of my life. I understand the emotional turmoil you have to live with. My prayers are with you.

325rto said:

Wow. A lot of advice from a lot of people. We make compromises everyday. At work, in our married lives, etc.. You should base your decision on what is most important to you; carrying a gun, or leaving the gun in the car and spending time with your father? You may regret drawing a line in the sand and not respecting your father's wishes, Or you might be willing to bend a little in order to spend more time with him. I don't know I'm just a guy on the internet. Of all the responses, I like SFCRetired's best. Good luck.

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Seems to me his father drew the line.

If a loved one did that too me I'd have to evaluate the relationship and ask why they are trying to be domineering and controlling.

Remember, control is given, not taken...talking inter-personal relations here, not the control government takes at gun point.

So, I just got off the phone with my father this morning and I invited him to read this thread so that he may be able to better understand my feelings in this matter. I will not censor anything that has been posted by me and I will not ask anyone else to censor their posts.

I hope that my father reads this thread and understands that my relationship with him is important to me but my beliefs and convictions regarding the firearms issue are also important to me and I will not throw my beliefs and convictions out the window just to satisfy his ultimatum. I told him that he and I needed to sit down and have a long talk about this issue. Before any decisions are made that may or may not destroy our relationship.

Had I known about his roommates feelings regarding firearms, I would have respected their wishes and either left my firearm in the car or not entered their home out of respect.

Grim_Night said:

So, I just got off the phone with my father this morning and I invited him to read this thread so that he may be able to better understand my feelings in this matter. I will not censor anything that has been posted by me and I will not ask anyone else to censor their posts.

I hope that my father reads this thread and understands that my relationship with him is important to me but my beliefs and convictions regarding the firearms issue are also important to me and I will not throw my beliefs and convictions out the window just to satisfy his ultimatum. I told him that he and I needed to sit down and have a long talk about this issue. Before any decisions are made that may or may not destroy our relationship.

Had I known about his roommates feelings regarding firearms, I would have respected their wishes and either left my firearm in the car or not entered their home out of respect.

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Tough situation. Good luck.

sigh, Grim, why in devil didn't you just state those sentiments to your father, instead of pursuing this continuing failure to communicate directly with the man about the dis tractor that has surfaced? i mean really...'hoping he reads this running commentary' and if he doesn't, you're still in the same boat as you were 5 days ago...further estranged.

would you quit the whole "woe is me" mentality and second guessing both your actions; as i stated previously, would you pull up your pants, act like the adult you are, arrange for a meet to sit down in a neutral spot, and talk to him for goodness sake.

it is my humble opinion, you do not wish to engage with him as you are afraid Pandora's box will be opened and dredge up past issues, real or perceived, which you do not wish to explore, attempt to solve, or endure, perhaps disapproving of your current judicial issues?

ipse

HeesBonafide said:

We may not like what people say, but we need to respect others' request on THEIR property.

...Doesn't mean you have to go on their property.

Same when it comes to private businesses stating that they don't allow OC on their premises...

Good luck!

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I need to point out that you have the wrong Idea. if it is a residential property, then you can't go there with out due process of a warrant. unless of course you have probable cause, such as being invited. there are a lot of reasons you can go in their property.
private business same rules, but then no one can go in , unless the per stated rules. but a business open to the public is not supposed to discriminate against anyone's constitutional rights. or of course their privileged status

Hi Dad!

Sent from my XT907 using Tapatalk

HeesBonafide said:

We may not like what people say, but we need to respect others' request on THEIR property.

...Doesn't mean you have to go on their property.

Same when it comes to private businesses stating that they don't allow OC on their premises...

Good luck!

Click to expand...

I need to point out that you have the wrong Idea. if it is a residential property, then you can't go there with out due process of a warrant. unless of course you have probable cause, such as being invited. there are a lot of reasons you can go in their property.
private business same rules, but then no one can go in , unless the per stated rules. but a business open to the public is not supposed to discriminate against anyone's constitutional rights. or of course their privileged status

Are we talking about someone's business or their private residence?

papa bear said:

I need to point out that you have the wrong Idea. if it is a residential property, then you can't go there with out due process of a warrant. unless of course you have probable cause, such as being invited. there are a lot of reasons you can go in their property.
private business same rules, but then no one can go in , unless the per stated rules. but a business open to the public is not supposed to discriminate against anyone's constitutional rights. or of course their privileged status

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I get that if it is a business, there is more to it. I was under the impression that this was his father's residence.

Are we talking about the same thing?

:lol::banana:

Primus said:

Hi Dad!

Sent from my XT907 using Tapatalk

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Sorry to hear it...

Grim...sorry to hear what has been happening. Unfortunately, it has been my experience that even those very closest to us can do some of the most hurtful things, including put their own feelings/wants/desires/fears/etc over those that they should care about the most.

Sounds like he has either given into social pressure, or has shown that this is how he has felt all along. Unfortunately, you two are the only ones that can really do anything about it. If this is the only issue between the two of you, YOU will likely have to decide how far to push the issue with your father. If it is not the only issue, then all advice from people who don't know your situation is only worth what you paid for it.

Best thing I can say is live your life the best way you know how, and include those who share your ideals. For those who oppose your ideals, YOU will have to decide if you should minimize the contact with them, or look for some middle ground.

Best of luck!!

Bikenut said:

My personal thoughts.................

There comes a time (or at least there should!) when a boy stands tall in front of his father and demands the respect he deserves as an individual... as a man in his own right. The issue that causes this and the repercussions from it are actually incidental because it isn't about the issue.. it is about the rite of passage from being a boy to becoming a man. Some fathers understand this and encourage it... some fathers understand it and discourage it because they want to hold onto their little boy no matter how old he gets... some fathers don't understand it and think it is all about keeping the power they had over their child.

Sadly some boys never understand it isn't about the issue nor is it about their father... it is about the boy himself becoming a man.

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I've been reading all the replies since I posted the above quote and now I'll just say it like it is....

If I didn't have the courage to confront my father and stand up for my beliefs not only would my now passed on father not have any respect for me.... I would not have any respect for myself.

That is that "rite of passage from being a boy to becoming a man" I referred to............. and of course there will be repercussions. Either the boy becomes a man or the father retains control over his boy.