I got a really good example of security theater earlier this week. Had to take a commercial flight earlier this week. I fly for a living and usually have my flight gear with me. I also carry in most places I fly to. So when flying commercially I am used to getting the extra special scrutiny.
So I declare my firearm at check in and get sent over to the TSA with my pelican case. So mr. TSA hero starts sorting through my underwear, never checks the 2 unlocked gun cases. But makes sure to get a good sniff of my underwear. You know to make sure I am not carrying explosive diarrhea.
I had two iPads and my laptop along with the rest of my flight gear all very carefully packed to prevent shuffling that could lead to damage, Mr. TSA hero has pulled everything out and now can't close the case. So he starts literally jumping on top of the case. I'm now yelling at him to let me repack before he breaks something. He tells me I am not allowed to touch my bag now that the bag has been checked. They need to ensure I don't put anything into my luggage that wasn't checked. Mind you I am standing less than five feet away. And he never opened the two hand gun cases with 50 or so rounds in each. But he sure spent a lot of time inspecting my underwear.
Dumbarse continues to try to force closed my luggage with stuff sticking out on all sides. I can see my kneeboard sticking out with pens on it that he is trying to slam the case closed on. He finally gets everything jammed back in and is able to lock the case up.
I'm running late for my plane so I can't take the time to find a supervisor for a complaint. So I take off for the gate.
i get to the scanners and take my boots off, unpack laptop #2, put my personal ipad in a separate plastic bin. Toss out my more than 3oz bottled water and head to the scanner. I am passed through without any issues. As I get to the other side to wait while the TSA goes through my helmet bag because you know helicopter gear works really well in those big jumbo jets. As I am putting on my boots my phone rings......how do I know this? Because not only is it still on my "belt" I am also still wearing my Bluetooth headset around my neck. You know the ones that hang around your neck and have the in ear plugs with the flashing blue light. Walked right through those fancy scanners with with them still on my person. Since I had to take my jacket off and I am only wearing a tshirt it must have been really hard to see them.
i start to comment to the TSA guy checking out my flight helmet like it's an alien artifact. Then my little voice who is never there reminds me I am going to be late for my flight. So I shut up. After getting permission from another TSA blueberry (is weight a requirement for advancement I the TSA?) to allow my helmet to go on the plane with me, I pull a O.J. Simpson (does anyone get that joke anymore?) and run through the airport to my gate just making it.
Flight goes well, I slept through most of it.
I get to my hotel and open my luggage only to find mr TSA hero has broken one of the pens on my kneeboard and ink is all over some of my clothes ruining some of them. The pen must have bounced around a bit during all the turbulence during the flight I slept through. But that's not the best part! Apparently my external gps for my ipad didn't make the flight.
i feel so safe with the TSA looking out for our best interest. How about you?
So I declare my firearm at check in and get sent over to the TSA with my pelican case. So mr. TSA hero starts sorting through my underwear, never checks the 2 unlocked gun cases. But makes sure to get a good sniff of my underwear. You know to make sure I am not carrying explosive diarrhea.
I had two iPads and my laptop along with the rest of my flight gear all very carefully packed to prevent shuffling that could lead to damage, Mr. TSA hero has pulled everything out and now can't close the case. So he starts literally jumping on top of the case. I'm now yelling at him to let me repack before he breaks something. He tells me I am not allowed to touch my bag now that the bag has been checked. They need to ensure I don't put anything into my luggage that wasn't checked. Mind you I am standing less than five feet away. And he never opened the two hand gun cases with 50 or so rounds in each. But he sure spent a lot of time inspecting my underwear.
Dumbarse continues to try to force closed my luggage with stuff sticking out on all sides. I can see my kneeboard sticking out with pens on it that he is trying to slam the case closed on. He finally gets everything jammed back in and is able to lock the case up.
I'm running late for my plane so I can't take the time to find a supervisor for a complaint. So I take off for the gate.
i get to the scanners and take my boots off, unpack laptop #2, put my personal ipad in a separate plastic bin. Toss out my more than 3oz bottled water and head to the scanner. I am passed through without any issues. As I get to the other side to wait while the TSA goes through my helmet bag because you know helicopter gear works really well in those big jumbo jets. As I am putting on my boots my phone rings......how do I know this? Because not only is it still on my "belt" I am also still wearing my Bluetooth headset around my neck. You know the ones that hang around your neck and have the in ear plugs with the flashing blue light. Walked right through those fancy scanners with with them still on my person. Since I had to take my jacket off and I am only wearing a tshirt it must have been really hard to see them.
i start to comment to the TSA guy checking out my flight helmet like it's an alien artifact. Then my little voice who is never there reminds me I am going to be late for my flight. So I shut up. After getting permission from another TSA blueberry (is weight a requirement for advancement I the TSA?) to allow my helmet to go on the plane with me, I pull a O.J. Simpson (does anyone get that joke anymore?) and run through the airport to my gate just making it.
Flight goes well, I slept through most of it.
I get to my hotel and open my luggage only to find mr TSA hero has broken one of the pens on my kneeboard and ink is all over some of my clothes ruining some of them. The pen must have bounced around a bit during all the turbulence during the flight I slept through. But that's not the best part! Apparently my external gps for my ipad didn't make the flight.
i feel so safe with the TSA looking out for our best interest. How about you?
