I'd have ignored the OC issue and stopped going based on service alone. Even if that member of staff was educated and the store allowed carry, whats the point if you get treated like that. Of course I hear you on the education issue but I wouldnt based on the terrible service received and the fact I wouldnt be back there anyway.
Poor service is usually corrected on the spot with a conversation with either the waitron or the manager. A calm, factual presentation of the concerns often leads both an apology and to a reduction in the total bill - and when it does not one or both is asked for. A frank discussion of why the tip is missing or miniscule also helps, especially when we can refer the offending waitron to other staff who know us and our tips. (Yes, tipping is part of the overall scheme to take over the world.)
But yes, there are a few places where the consensus is that over time the standard of service cannot be raised enough to warrant a return. IIRC the monthly OC Dinner has dropped only two places from the list of revolving locations due to repeated service issues (with a third still in discussions), and one for trying to poison one of our diabetic members (and most folks were not enthusiastic about the cuisine anyhow).
stay safe.