So, do any of you actually remember an instance when you got spanked or belted or whatever, and that itself was the motivating factor to internalize your own responsibility?
Yes I do, on multiple occasions. I can remember a few extreme circumstances where I got several backhands to the butt. I honestly only remember one or two instances where I knew I was innocent, but I was still being a jerk and talking back. All the others, even if I was coaxed into doing something wrong, my father's reaction made me realize that I need to hold myself accountable for what I do. He didn't need to hold my hand and explain that to me. He wanted me to figure it out on my own, and I did - for the most part, haha.
My philosophy with my daughter is similar to my Dad's with me, except I try to teach her ways to do things that challenge her a little more. I honestly can't wait until we can have debates.