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Thread: Trying to teach my girlfriend to shoot.

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    Trying to teach my girlfriend to shoot.

    Hey guys just wanted to say first of all that this website is awesome. Love reading the stories and seeing how cool everyone is.

    To get to the point, I'm trying to get my girlfriend to learn how to operate my firearms in case of an emergency. We live in Gaston County, NC, I always open carry my sd9ve (first handgun I have personally owned, I am 20 and went through all the legal steps to obtain my firearm.) but I know I can not always be home to protect her.

    Every time I try to get her to go out and shoot with me, she refuses. She says that my guns are too powerful for her. I know my 870 Tactical may be too much for her as she is a slim framed woman and it does have some smack to it with the 3" shells. But she also says that my 9mm is too powerful, which I know isn't. She also does want to obtain her CCP and purchase the Sig p938 when she turns 21 this November.

    She says that she won't shoot anything other than that firearm until she gets it. I can't obtain that pistol right now but I want her to learn how to operate a firearm in case she has to. I have access to many different firearms that my parents and my older brother owns, from a .32 revolver, .380 Taurus, 9mm .40 caliber and .45 caliber handguns. How can I get her to learn to operate a handgun and also a long gun if I can't get her to shoot any one of them? It's really frustrating seeing everyone's self defense stories and knowing that she wouldn't use a firearms even if someone broke into our house.

    Thanks guys and sorry for dragging it out like that.

  2. #2
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    When you a woman to do something that she does not want to do, let me and the rest of the world know.

    I guess she's waiting on her own gun.

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    If I find out I'll be sure to post a thread lol

    Its just scary thinking she doesn't care to defend herself or even learn to. Her crazy ex boyfriend threatened to kill both of us a while back, hes talking out of his a** I know but still. Just frustrates me that she won't learn.

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    Regular Member Grim_Night's Avatar
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    If she is honestly interested in keeping and bearing arms and you can get her to go shooting with you, KEEP HER! Find a gun range that you can rent the firearm that she wants and then take her to rent it. Make sure it's really what she wants.
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    Campaign Veteran MAC702's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lanesd9ve View Post
    ...I know my 870 Tactical may be too much for her as she is a slim framed woman and it does have some smack to it with the 3" shells. But she also says that my 9mm is too powerful, which I know isn't. She also does want to obtain her CCP and purchase the Sig p938 when she turns 21 this November.

    She says that she won't shoot anything other than that firearm until she gets it. I can't obtain that pistol right now but I want her to learn how to operate a firearm in case she has to. I have access to many different firearms that my parents and my older brother owns, from a .32 revolver, .380 Taurus, 9mm .40 caliber and .45 caliber handguns. How can I get her to learn to operate a handgun and also a long gun if I can't get her to shoot any one of them? ...
    I can't tell you how common a story it is that a boyfriend is usually a bad choice to teach a girl how to shoot. There's just something about the chemistry that works against it. Buy her an NRA Basic Pistol or similar class, preferably an all-ladies class, which are becoming quite popular these days. There are pros and cons to taking the class with her. She may prefer to do it without you and be able to focus more on the class. Even if you do take it with her, do NOT do anything contradictory to the instructor or in any way attempt to impress her ahead of time with what you know. Pretend you are learning it, too, and you'll probably pick up a few things anyway.

    Your SD9VE is going to be far more comfortable to shoot (even with the mediocre trigger) than the cute Sig P938 she wants. As for the variety available to her, how is it no one has a .22? Have you tried 2-3/4" light dove/target loads in your shotgun?
    "It's not important how many people I've killed. What's important is how I get along with the people who are still alive" - Jimmy the Tulip

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    An all ladies class is the way to go, hands down. Women learn differently than men, and female instructors know this. Men being in the classroom setting just add the machismo distraction of the inevitable dbag who wants to show off to all the ladies how much he thinks he knows about guns. When I lived in South Carolina, the LGS I went to all the time offered a ladies night class every week. I think it was like 40 bucks. It included rental of eyes and ears, a box of ammo, some short class time learning the two pistols they would be using (a revolver and a semi-auto, both .22lr), how to load and unload, safe handling, etc. It also came with 2 targets and a t-shirt. My wife enjoyed it so much she went multiple times. Only reason I can't get her out to the range anymore is because we had a baby between then and now, and we don't have available sitters that often.

    Best thing you can do is encourage her interest, don't force anything. She's going to be scared of them for a while until she gets used to carrying and being around that sort of tool all the time. Like was said before, find a range that has guns for rent, save some money, take her there and tell her to go to town. She'll more than likely find something she likes and ends up wanting more than the p938. It's an all too common misconception that a little lady needs a little gun. That's probably the worst choice for a small framed woman with little firearm experience. I have an LC9s that's louder and has worse recoil than my judge, my buddies 2 1911's, and my other buddies cz75. It's not something I'd hand to my wife our first day back out on the range, and she has some (albeit limited) experience. Small guns are not fun to shoot, there I said it. Give me a hunk of steel with a barrel and a trigger any day at the range.

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    Regular Member WalkingWolf's Avatar
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    Wow, is she ever in for a surprise when she gets that Sig. Get her into a class, and get her to rent a Sig. Since she seems to be recoil sensitive, and if she remains that way suggest a 22. A SR22 will cost half of what that Sig will and be much more comfortable to shoot. And a 22 is better than no gun at all.

    Honestly my wife has a CF380 and that gun has the recoil of a 22lr, but it is not very concealable. I just can't imagine a SD9VE having that much recoil. Also you can get reduced recoil self defense loads for the shotgun.
    Last edited by WalkingWolf; 01-24-2015 at 04:30 AM.
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    Regular Member sraacke's Avatar
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    I'm putting in another vote for sending her to a Women Only Basic Pistol class with a reputable instructor. Let them start her out with a .22 in a stress free / boyfriend free setting.
    I know most handgun instructors will recommend not taking a class with your spouse and if a couple show up for a class they are slipt up in the class.
    It is very similar to what is often called Powdered Butt Syndrome which is often defined as-

    A condition which arises when a son attempts to give advice to his parents, but the parents refuse to listen to him for no other reason but that he is their son.
    Example...
    I tried to convince my parents to save for retirement, but they don't want to hear it from me. It's a bad case of Powdered Butt Syndrome.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MAC702 View Post
    I can't tell you how common a story it is that a boyfriend is usually a bad choice to teach a girl how to shoot. There's just something about the chemistry that works against it. Buy her an NRA Basic Pistol or similar class, preferably an all-ladies class, which are becoming quite popular these days. There are pros and cons to taking the class with her. She may prefer to do it without you and be able to focus more on the class. Even if you do take it with her, do NOT do anything contradictory to the instructor or in any way attempt to impress her ahead of time with what you know. Pretend you are learning it, too, and you'll probably pick up a few things anyway.

    ?
    I have found over many decades of instructing that this is very true girl friends and wife's being taught by their boy friends or husbands can cause and create a lot of friction. In rare occasions it does work but I would highly recommend you find some one who can instructor her other then you.
    Last edited by Firearms Iinstuctor; 01-24-2015 at 09:08 AM.
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    Regular Member Maverick9's Avatar
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    Get her some good shootin' gloves - dampens the shock. Have her try a G42; very gentle recoil.

    Good luck.

  11. #11
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    I agree with those saying to suggest an women's class. A good class taught by women and geared toward women should address basically all of her concerns and any real issues that tend to face smaller framed people.

    For what it's worth, my wife is also very small framed and found that my compact/full sized CZ 9mm was more comfortable to shoot than my mom's subcompact .380. Like another poster said, it can be deceiving. Smaller doesn't mean softer.
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    Thanks for all the great advice guys, I really appreciate it. I'll start looking into a female class for her and see if she will take one!

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    Lanesd9ve,

    [I'm late to this party but here nonetheless]

    I'm a big guy, and even *I* don't like shooting 3" magnum 12 gauge shells! Recoil is a fact of physics so there is real recoil (measureable scientifically and is a fixed number for any given gun/ammo being used) and perceived recoil (how each person feels it -- a variable). Some people perceive a big gun's recoil negatively, so they stay away from that particular gun from then on. And the SIZE of a person re: perceived recoils doesn't matter -- some smaller people do just fine with 3" magnum shells (I could too, just don't look forward to them, and I find NO NEED for them in a home/self-defense application). ;-)

    But you DO know, however, that you can always get low recoil/reduced recoil ammo (they are called either) for your 12 gauge and THAT ammo is still PLENTY potent for home/self-defense?

    For specific example, I now carry a "shorty" (2 pistol-grips) Mossberg 500 shotgun in my car (yes, it's secured, not loose) as my Car Gun, and its ammo is Fiocchi "Low Recoil" 00 Buckshot (1150fps). I chose this because shooting full-power shotgun ammo in a shorty shotgun can be a handful (don't ask me how I personally found that out some YEARS back)...but there's NO NEED to do that. So why beat yourself up (hands/wrists trauma) unnecessarily?

    So I put my Remington Express "kick-ass" full-power 00 Buckshot into storage and instead opted to use ONLY "low recoil" ammo (Buck & Slug) for said "shorty" Car Gun. I don't suspect the "target" will note any difference when hit. If the target says it DOES notice, I'll shoot it again. And like shampoo, repeat as necessary. ;-)

    Fiocchi also makes a "companion" (to the 00 Buck) low-recoil 1-oz slug load (also @ 1150fps), too, and I'll be getting some of those shortly (plus, I may make up some of my own, but that's another topic for the "Reloading" area). Some other brands make "low/reduced recoil" 00 Buck ammo @ 1200fps, but the 1150fps stuff by Fiocchi is fine for me and about as "slow" as can be found. IMO, 1-oz of lead moving @ 1150fps is still plenty fast/serious enough for me. ;-)

    Rio Royal is another brand of low/reduced recoil 00 Buck ammo (1200fps), and also like Fiocchi, it's not expensive, maybe less than Fiocchi. I've learned that this 00 Buck seems to open up more (larger patterns) at longer ranges than the normal full-powered 00 Buck, but for home/self-defense, I think it's great stuff, even if it isn't so much for longer-range hunting purposes (and which I'm not addressing here).

    I have a full-sized shotgun in my home (Mossberg 590A1) and it can use the full-power stuff better as it's a heavier gun and shoulder-held as well...but even so, I may STILL go with low-recoil ammo for it (Fiocchi 1150fps Buck and Slug) and save the full-power stuff for any Kodiak Brown Bears, Siberian Snow Tigers, hippos, or wounded African lions I come across here in The Great State of Colorado. ;-)

    So what I'm saying is a shotgun (for home or car, as it's NOT a personal-carry gun of course!) is a devastating home/self-defense weapon so your GF should not get it her mind (forever) that she won't use a shotgun, or be out off by it. But none of us should be introducing new shooters to such powerful weapons in the beginning anyway, be they shotguns or huge-caliber magnum handguns -- as seen in those "funny" (they're NOT) YouTube video clips. And, they can get people killed/wounded -- a real DUMB thing to do to a new shooter.

    As for handguns, I have my opinions also, but the other posters above have given some good advice already. I was just trying to help your GF avoid turning off to shotguns permanently due to any "unpleasant" first experiences.

    Whatever you do, let her go along at her own speed, and LISTEN to her concerns.

    Good luck...
    Last edited by cloudcroft; 01-24-2015 at 02:47 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by cloudcroft View Post
    Lanesd9ve,

    and LISTEN to her concerns.
    <snip>
    Most guys don't know what you mean lol.

    She'll get the gun she wants and shoot with that .... maybe she does not want to listen to her guy

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    David,

    True...but you reversed what *I* was saying.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I am on my way out the door to do some errands...including telling any women I meet what particular gun they should be carrying, based solely on their appearance (a well-recognized and perhaps the primary factor in determining proper gun selection for women, as we all know). ;-)

    Yes...I'm just kidding.

    But TIA for your moral support in my noble endeavor...
    Last edited by cloudcroft; 01-24-2015 at 07:03 PM.
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    Thanks guys, all great advice and I'm thankful y'all are helping me out.

    I understand that my 3" shells are too much and I've never tried to get her to try it. I don't want to put that fear of shooting into her (like her father already did years ago). I thought about teaching her at least how to operate the shotgun in case she's at home and someone comes in.

    To my surprise she actually came up to me and asked if I could shoot with her tomorrow. I'm no expert by far and I do not act like one. There are tons of people that are better than me and I know this. I just want her to be comfortable around them and have the knowledge of how they are operated in case she needs them. I told her I could borrow my mom's 32 revolver for her to practice with, its a snub nose but it's heavy and kicks like a pellet gun lol She also said she would try my sd9ve.

    Thanks everybody for the replys and suggestions!

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    Campaign Veteran skidmark's Avatar
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    Welcome your own personal train wreck.

    Check out http://www.corneredcat.com/article/f...wife-to-shoot/ and all the other good stuff Cathy Jackson has there. If you do, you just migt come out the far side of this still married and not sleeping for the rest of your life on the couch that's on the back porch.

    stay safe.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lanesd9ve View Post
    I understand that my 3" shells are too much and I've never tried to get her to try it. I don't want to put that fear of shooting into her (like her father already did years ago). I thought about teaching her at least how to operate the shotgun in case she's at home and someone comes in.
    These guys are pussycats IMO:

    http://www.sportsmansguide.com/produ...ounds?a=202716

    Light enough for a small-framed person, if you make sure to tell her to pull the gun in tight. That's the #1 amateur mistake with long guns that will ruin their day, and it's rather counterintuitive until you explain acceleration, momentum, etc.

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    "I thought about teaching her at least how to operate the shotgun in case she's at home and someone comes in." -- Lanesd9ve


    Yes, that's a very good idea...I hope you do so.

    Besides, it's true that if you MUST use a hard-kicking gun for real, its heavy recoil goes almost completely unnoticed as one has OTHER things a tad more important to worry about at that time, amidst all the excitement. ;-)


    P.S. I ordered some of those Fiocchi Shooting Dynamics Low Recoil Ammunition 12 Gauge 2-3/4" 1 oz Rifled Exacto Aero Slug 12LRSL Box of 10 (whew!) this afternoon...
    Last edited by cloudcroft; 01-24-2015 at 10:55 PM.
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  20. #20
    Campaign Veteran MAC702's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lanesd9ve View Post
    ...I understand that my 3" shells are too much and I've never tried to get her to try it...
    What are YOU using them for?

    Some people consider me to be an expert in self-defense and firearms, and I would never use a 3" shell in my personal defensive shotguns.
    "It's not important how many people I've killed. What's important is how I get along with the people who are still alive" - Jimmy the Tulip

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    Quote Originally Posted by MAC702 View Post
    What are YOU using them for?

    Some people consider me to be an expert in self-defense and firearms, and I would never use a 3" shell in my personal defensive shotguns.
    Ball and chain load?

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    [QUOTE=MAC702;2123628]What are YOU using them for?

    Some people consider me to be an expert in self-defense and firearms, and I would never use a 3" shell in my personal defensive shotguns.[/Q I'll UOTE]

    MAC702 I use them mostly for hunting. Deer, coyotes, things like that. That and maybe when SHTF lol
    Since you brought that up, what would be a good home defense load? I'm always open to suggestions and others opinions on what they recommend.

  23. #23
    Campaign Veteran MAC702's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lanesd9ve View Post
    ...I use them mostly for hunting. Deer, coyotes, things like that. That and maybe when SHTF ...
    Since you brought that up, what would be a good home defense load? I'm always open to suggestions and others opinions on what they recommend.
    Okay, certain hunting applications might use a 3", sure, when power or payload is more important.

    But for defensive purposes, control of the firearm is far more important. Same reason most of us are carrying non-magnums in our self-defense pistols, many of us aren't using magnums in our defensive shotguns. Additionally, for shotguns with a tubular magazine, using 3" shells will probably reduce your capacity by a round, though this is lower on the priority list.

    What exact payload you should use depends on many factors, especially longest probable engagement distances, skill level, and presence of innocents behind what kind of cover. Never accept an answer from someone whose advice came when they didn't even know the details. Remember that for the vast majority of self-defense scenarios, the actual power of the firearm is not the factor that stopped the fight.
    "It's not important how many people I've killed. What's important is how I get along with the people who are still alive" - Jimmy the Tulip

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    I completely understand what you mean. I use to have some 2-3/4 birdshot (can't remember the exact load), but I shot all of it up a while back rabbit hunting lol I seen earlier someone suggested a lower recoil shell. I do worry about it going through the drywall of our house now, as my girlfriends parents lost their house due to a financial hardship so they moved in with us a week or so ago until they can get the house back. But say a low recoil 2-3/4 #5 shell? Our house isn't too big, probably furthest defensive length would be maybe 20 feet?

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    There are many reduce recoil loads out there I use these with real gun shy people they don't fee well but then they don't scare people who are shy.

    http://www.the-armory.com/shopsite_s...hell_shot.html
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