Wear comfy clothes, maybe include a pillow strapped strategically.
Get on ground, smile, laugh. Be submissive (Not 'cooperative as you and the police are Definitely Not working towards a common goal)
Get up, smile, laugh. Contact said 'hungry lawyer'.
Find a friend to call the police and repeat the procedure; run them ragged with their own rules.
Sooner or later, someone's gonna get tired; will it be them, or you?