• We are now running on a new, and hopefully much-improved, server. In addition we are also on new forum software. Any move entails a lot of technical details and I suspect we will encounter a few issues as the new server goes live. Please be patient with us. It will be worth it! :) Please help by posting all issues here.
  • The forum will be down for about an hour this weekend for maintenance. I apologize for the inconvenience.
  • If you are having trouble seeing the forum then you may need to clear your browser's DNS cache. Click here for instructions on how to do that
  • Please review the Forum Rules frequently as we are constantly trying to improve the forum for our members and visitors.

Good Joke

darrel_h

Regular Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2006
Messages
158
Location
Woodbridge, Virginia, USA
hey everyone, someone sent me this joke recently and i thought it would be a good idea to start a thread for jokes and humorous stories. so if you have any please feel free to pass along. i'll start it off:





[align=left]Question You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

_______________________________________________________________
Liberal Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Could he use the money I was selfishly planning on spending on our dinner tonight? Have I or my ancestors ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? What do I need to say to reason with this clearly distressed man? Could we run away? Would it make me a "gender-racist" to make this decision unilaterally without input from my wife? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? Am I placing my value system on him...am I profiling him or "pre-judging" his intent to harm us? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends down at Starbucks over a cherry latte to try to come to a conclusion.
[/align]
Conservative Answer: BANG!

Texan Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed)

Wife "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"

Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Daughter: "Nice group Daddy!"
 

CPerdue

Regular Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2006
Messages
235
Location
Salem, ,
imported post

The SOUTHERN answer has several more BANGs before the reload. Even visiting Yankees soon adopt 10+1, a true Southern Gentleman will be carrying high-capacity magazines.

Humor is a good idea and a valuable tool for engaging people who might be unsettled by OC. It is harder to fear someone who makes you laugh.
 

TEX1N

Regular Member
Joined
May 15, 2006
Messages
842
Location
Northern VA, Virginia, USA
imported post

Although some Texans believe that bigger is better. I have a few friends that will only carry 1911's. A typical 1911 can hold 8+1, giving you 9 "bangs" :lol:
 
A

Arizonatexan

Guest
imported post

That's a GOOD One! This just goes to show you the perception that Texans all walk around with a handgun strapped on (we do but...) even though we don't have open carry in Texas (YET) but we will soon!

The other day at work I was sitting in a rather large meeting with other hospital executives and directors. The discussion turned to why "so-and-so" had done something stupid and what we should do about. The discussion went around and around without resolution and finally under my breath but loud enough for several people to hear I said in a disgusted tone:"just shoot him!" A ripple of laughter went around the table and someone said - "spoken like a true Texan!

Arizonatexan
 

pourshot

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Jul 10, 2006
Messages
405
Location
Stafford, Virginia, USA
imported post

From something I had previously posted on packing.....



One day at the range... I was working the range one day and a little 7 year old comes in with her dad. Another 7 year old girl comes in with her mom and dad. We just happened to give them lanes that were next to each other.

I happened to look out the window and see the two little girls making friends. Classic "I met my best friend at the range 30 years ago" story in the making.

Anyway, I look out there later and see one of the little girls shooting a full size 9mm.

BANG! she would go back a step or two, the gun would rise, but not excessively (think of an average man shooting a 44 mag for the first time). She would them march right back to the line and shoot again.

Later on, both of the girls were out in the store front. They were looking at the shooters' caps and making small girl talk..."oh this one is cute, but look at this..."

Anyway, I went over and asked "Did both of you shoot the 9mm?" and they both shook their heads yes and one replied "We sure did!" with a big smile on her face.

I reached over and handed them each a cap and said "Well then this is for you and this is for you because you did a really good job out there. I am very proud of you and want you to remember this day." They both thanked me repeatedly as sweetly as 7 year olds can with big smiles.

I turned to walk back the counter to pay for the caps I heard one little girl say to the other...



(ready for this......???)













"Yeah, but it wasn't anywhere near as bad as the .45!"

God Bless them both!
 

45acpForMe

Newbie
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
2,805
Location
Yorktown, Virginia, USA
Sorry to resurrect an old thread but wanted to post a joke

Seems a Texan makes a rolling stop at a stop sign, and gets pulled over by a local policeman. Guy hands the cop his driver's license, insurance verification, plus his concealed carry permit.

"Okay, Mr. Smith," the cop says, "I see your CCW permit. Are you carrying today?"

"Yes, I am."

"Well then, better tell me what you got."

Smith says, "Well, I got a .357 revolver in my inside coat pocket. There's a 9mm semi-auto in the glove box. And, I've got a .22 magnum derringer in my right boot."

"Okay," the cop says. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, back in the trunk, there's an AR15 and a shotgun. That's about it."

"Mr. Smith, are you on your way to or from a gun range...?"

"Nope."

"Well then, what are you afraid of....?"

"Not a goddamned thing..."
 
Top