darrel_h
Regular Member
hey everyone, someone sent me this joke recently and i thought it would be a good idea to start a thread for jokes and humorous stories. so if you have any please feel free to pass along. i'll start it off:
[align=left]Question You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
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Liberal Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Could he use the money I was selfishly planning on spending on our dinner tonight? Have I or my ancestors ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? What do I need to say to reason with this clearly distressed man? Could we run away? Would it make me a "gender-racist" to make this decision unilaterally without input from my wife? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? Am I placing my value system on him...am I profiling him or "pre-judging" his intent to harm us? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends down at Starbucks over a cherry latte to try to come to a conclusion.[/align]
Conservative Answer: BANG!
Texan Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed)
Wife "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Daughter: "Nice group Daddy!"
[align=left]Question You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
_______________________________________________________________
Liberal Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Could he use the money I was selfishly planning on spending on our dinner tonight? Have I or my ancestors ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? What do I need to say to reason with this clearly distressed man? Could we run away? Would it make me a "gender-racist" to make this decision unilaterally without input from my wife? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? Am I placing my value system on him...am I profiling him or "pre-judging" his intent to harm us? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends down at Starbucks over a cherry latte to try to come to a conclusion.[/align]
Conservative Answer: BANG!
Texan Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed)
Wife "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Daughter: "Nice group Daddy!"