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Thread: Need help explaining open carry

  1. #1
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    So here's my story. I have CC'd for about 3 years now. At first when I told my wife I was getting licensed, she laughed at me. Once I finally got my license it took some talking and educating but she still thought i was just doing it to be cool or tough. She finally came around and she now fully supports it. I've even overheard her teaching her friends about it and how much she likes me carrying (esp. since the Trolley Square incident). Well, now I wish to open carry. Now she's saying that she doesn't want me to OC becauseshe doesn't want to cause any situations that might get us kicked out of a restuarant or store. Or even get stopped by the police. SoI'm trying to share with her that for the most part OCers don't get hassled. I haven't been able to break her yet. She's even said she won't go with me anywhere I OC. :? Anyway, I'm sure once I begin doing it and she sees that everything turns out ok, it'll simmer down. But if anyone has any advice or has gone through a similar situation, please share. Thanks

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    2 words:

    Rosa

    Parks

    Stand up for your rights, or you might not have anything to stand on.

    You can't make someone who is nonconfrontational change their ways. They are bigots and have already decided that its wrong. I have been OCing for 4 years now and have only had 2 negative instances... and guess where I Live? Yep, Las friggin Vegas!

    You will get used to the "extra attention" and so will she... just takes time.

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    Have patience and start by educating her. My wife was exactly the same way, she still thinks I'm a bit goofy but understands. Breaking your wife's friends in and other family members will be a bit more challenging, which is probably one of the other reasons she is against you doing it because it might embarass her.

    My first time out with the group here in VA there was a helicopter, 6 police cars, a ballistic shield etc etc. Talk about an eye opening experience! Luckily I told her ahead of time it might happen, why it might happen, and that the people we were going to see were experienced in these types of encounters, not to mention they knew the laws and their rights. Afterwards it was a pleasant experience. Doing something new and different is always scary at first until you realize the only thing to fear is fear itself, lol.

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    Ya, I have to admit that there is a certain amount of fear/anxiety aboutOCing for the first time for me too. I know i'll absolutely hate being confronted by a manager, security guard, or any employee that stops and questions me. I know i'll play it cool and I know my stuff when it comes to Utah laws it's just a matter of the embarassment I guess. She'll come around like she did with the CC, it'll just take some time. Glad to hear other's wives have felt the same.

  5. #5
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    Tell her that it's important to change people's perspectives, and try to display a good model of the responsible gun owner. And that it is vital to utilize your rights unless you want to see them disappear. Let her know how strongly you feel, and she'll probably at least give it a shot.

    I just started open carrying, myself, and the first night I went out it was about 2300 and the store I went to had about 4 cop cars parked out front and a gaggle of police taking a break outside. I knew I was totally fine, but the anxiety was unreal. You get over the weirdness really fast, though.

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    The other thing you should keep in the back of your mind is that some day, some where, you probably WILL have a bad experience OCing. Just like you risk your life everyday you crawl out of bed, today could be the day you get hit by the Mack truck and become a quadrapalegic or worse. Does that stop you from getting out of bed? No. There's nothing you can do to prevent that kind of accident from occuring, so don't be held in fear of it.

    I've only just started OCing, and it's all because of the people I've met in VA. I know I probably won't handle every incident with a cool level head, and I know I'm not going to be able to change every person's mind I come into contact. The only thing you can do is be confident about why your doing it, be as presentable and pleasant as you can be while your doing it, and know that should the need arrive for you to be able to defend yourself you can. What anyone else thinks really doesn't matter, they won't be defending your life. Try to educate someone who's opposed to weapons, your right to carry, and the 2nd amendment, but know when to walk away because they just don't hear you.

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    (For lack of a PM feature...)

    Hey, bohdi - I'm in Woodbridge, and I'd like to know where to meet all these NOVA guys who seem to be barbecuing and eating pizza all the time.

    I'm on the fence, I'd like to get the CHL first, but the bottom line is if I'm not part of the solution I'm part of the problem... but a support group would help.

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    natehunts wrote:
    She's even said she won't go with me anywhere I OC. :?
    If she wants to leverage this against you, then turn it around on her. Tell her that you won't go anywhere with her unless you are OCing. Hopefully she'll realize how unfair her demand is, and be willing to compromise (maybe OC on half your outings). From there, she should get used to it, and not care if you OC more often.

    My wife reacted the same way when I started talking about OC. Now she's asking me to teach her how to handle & fire my gun, so she can carry it.
    Participant in the Free State Project - "Liberty in Our Lifetime" - www.freestateproject.org
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    Don't Tread On Me.

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    CA_Libertarian wrote:
    natehunts wrote:
    She's even said she won't go with me anywhere I OC. :?
    If she wants to leverage this against you, then turn it around on her. Tell her that you won't go anywhere with her unless you are OCing.
    Annggh!

    Escalation alert! Attempt to back the wife into a corner with demands he is not prepared to stick to!

    With only a wild guess atconsequences! Annggh!Annggh!

    Not a good move. <shaking head>




    CA_Libertarian wrote:
    Hopefully she'll realize how unfair her demand is, and be willing to compromise...
    Hopefully? And if not?

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    Just do it anyway. You have your beliefs and she has hers. My wife came around and now SHE open carries :celebrate

    LoveMyCountry

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    My advice is to find out exactly why she is opposed to OC. Don't assume it's one thing or another. Once you have a nice talk and get to the real bottom of the issue (it's not always obvious), then you can begin a dialogue addressing those specific issues. When you're building a house, you don't start with the roof. So, get to the foundation. This is just common sense when dealing with people of a different position. For goodness sake, don't be petty from the get-go, because then you're not even discussing the issue anymore.

    Cheers.

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    I'm laughing at all you guys with your wives and your difficulties with managing both guns and wives.

    I'm single and pick up so many chicks because I OC.

    Wait. Nevermind. I haven't picked up any while OC'ing. Lots of stares from cuties but I think they're too afraid to talk. I did talk to one, but she was Russian.

  13. #13
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    No updates?

    I can relate. First time I OC'ed, I was SO nervous. What do you expect from decades of listening to a liberal society? So why did I make that decision?

    When I first got my CHL, I was delivering pizzas in some bad areas of town. I wasn't an astute citizen exercising my rights as much as I was just reacting to my environment. I knew I wasn't a bad guy. But as a gun owner, especially in Ohio where voluntary CPZ's are provided for by law, I never ran out of ways to feel like the bad guy simply because I owned and carried a gun.

    Well I don't mind being rejected, but I will not be ashamed! That was back then. Nowadays, open carry is completely natural and I do it wherever I go. Primarily because I WANT people to knee-jerk react by being afraid only to see me pay for my _____ and be on my way. It's the only way we can counteract this stigma that non-LEO's with guns MUST be criminals.

    Surprisingly enough (I'm being facetious), none of the fears that anti-OC'ers express have come to pass. I even had one gas station attendant (female) treat me as if she appreciated that anybody casing the joint would see armed citizens frequenting their establishment. It is a deterrent. Especially when you consider that your common thug is a coward in the first place.

  14. #14
    State Researcher dng's Avatar
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    I had a similar situation when I first started OCing. My wife's main concern was that she did not want me to be arrested. She also didn't like the attention that OC draws (neither do I, but it's hard to avoid it) I explained to her that it was legal, and why I was doing it.She is still not entirely thrilled about it, I have to give her Kudos on supporting me even though she isn't crazy about it. She's great about that! I would suggest just being patient with her, and explain OC to her when the opportunity comes up. I wouldn't be surprised if she comes around. Good luck!

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    My wife is starting to warm up to OCing herself after about 3 years. I Oc every moment I can myself.

    My wife had her 1st OC moment at Costco, Cabelas, Albertsonsand some various smaller stores when she was with me and it was GREAT.

    She said that she just want to OC when she is with me for now so that she will be more confident. She said that she wants to me educated about the OC "Laws" and what to say and do when approached by civilian asking Q's and for when a LEO would approach her.

    Step by Step . Good Luck.

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    1st have her OC in the House. Then in the Yard (if you have that ). Then around the Block. To the Grocery Storewhere they are Familiar with you and so on...

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    i think that you will have to balance oc'ing with the practical facts of everyday life. there WILL be places where it is perfectly legal to oc and yet general wisdon might dictate that you would be better off cc'ing.

    note - i am NOT suggesting that you dont carry,only that there might bea valid choice between oc and cc - assuming that yr state has a cc option. az does.

    az is fairly lenient with oc butto cc you better have that license. also, some LEO's may not know all the finer points of oc and cc so its better to bedouble-covered.

    also, i'm sure many LEO's, etc. would much prefer seeing your weapon properly displayed rather that having to guess whether or not some suspicious person is carrying something in tucked into his belt.

    i am going for my ccw and when receive i it i will carry, both cc and oc. Having the ccw and the right holster will let me choose my method of carry - going from one to the other as quickly and as needed.

    papasmee



  18. #18
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    papasmee wrote:
    also, i'm sure many LEO's, etc. would much prefer seeing your weapon properly displayed rather that having to guess whether or not some suspicious person is carrying something in tucked into his belt.

    i am going for my ccw...
    No offense intended, but I could tell by your first statement that you had not yet carried or even read about those who do. I will not lie; There have been a few times when a policeman went about after I informed him (in Ohio, we have a rights-infringing duty to inform) as if nothing happened. Even had one that interrupted me because he knew what I was saying and didn't want me to have to "give away my secret" to others that were there. Which was nice.

    But there have also been times when it has led to being disarmed. Or them showing they have intent to disarm. Others have reported the policeman reaching for their own gun and similar escalations.

    It follows logic that somebody openly carrying their firearm clearly has no intent to misuse it. However, the liberal media and decades of a growing government have left people with a sense about firearms where logic doesn't often apply. Don't forget that the Second Amendment was put into place that we might be equally armed against a tyrannical government. Yet in Ohio, it is legal for that same government to strip me of that very right during a TRAFFIC stop. And many people are.

    OC works. CC works. What matters is that we have the right to do either

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    Demarest wrote:
    papasmee wrote:
    also, i'm sure many LEO's, etc. would much prefer seeing your weapon properly displayed rather that having to guess whether or not some suspicious person is carrying something in tucked into his belt.

    i am going for my ccw...
    No offense intended, but I could tell by your first statement that you had not yet carried or even read about those who do. I will not lie; There have been a few times when a policeman went about after I informed him (in Ohio, we have a rights-infringing duty to inform) as if nothing happened. Even had one that interrupted me because he knew what I was saying and didn't want me to have to "give away my secret" to others that were there. Which was nice.

    But there have also been times when it has led to being disarmed. Or them showing they have intent to disarm. Others have reported the policeman reaching for their own gun and similar escalations.

    It follows logic that somebody openly carrying their firearm clearly has no intent to misuse it. However, the liberal media and decades of a growing government have left people with a sense about firearms where logic doesn't often apply. Don't forget that the Second Amendment was put into place that we might be equally armed against a tyrannical government. Yet in Ohio, it is legal for that same government to strip me of that very right during a TRAFFIC stop. And many people are.

    OC works. CC works. What matters is that we have the right to do either
    A friend and I OCed @ the Ron Paul Rally in SLC,Ut and we were standing next to a cop (SLPD)during the whole speech @ the very front about 50ft from Ron:celebrate. I like OCing of course

  20. #20
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    First off please DO NOT TAKE HER CONCERNS LIGHTLY.

    She most likely is an intelligent woman (most are - Mine is much smarter than I am) and will listen but will not if you ignore those pesky little things the chicks call "feelings".

    I will relate my own (12 years of marriage) experience here.
    I met my wife through a friend of mine (her cousin.) All of my wife's life she was a democrat. She even worked to get Clinton elected the first time. For many years her cousin (my friend) tried to berate her into his "republican" way of thinking. She would have none of it and became even stronger in her liberal "beliefs" (i use quotes, because she never really believed a word of it.) Shortly after she and I started dating and I got to know her well I talked to her about issues. After hearing her answers to her opinions on a variety of political questions I informed her, she is not a liberal or even a democrat for that matter. She has come full circle and is almost as conservative as I am (one would be hard pressed to find anyone as or more conservative than I.)

    The point is to speak softly and only if needed - make your points and ask questions, LISTEN - let her talk herself into it, advise where appropriate. Print out some stories you get from the site or ask her to sign up and ask her own questions. Hell, I will give you my email address. She is the one that wanted us both to get guns and carry permits.

  21. #21
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    I guess I'm lucky. We were in Arizona and I had two guns in the car. I askedmy wifeif she'd OC and she said, "OK" and did. She does shoot and it was a revolver so no big semi auto issues. She had it on at the rest stops, gas stations, and a few fast food places!

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