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Thread: A New Version of A Christmas Carol

  1. #1
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    Found a link to this over at David Hardy's blog, Arms and the Law.

    He found it on the Real Gun Guys board. Thought you all might enjoy it.

    Comment from REal Gun Guys poster: "I don't know who wrote it originally as it came to me unattributed, but here it is. Enjoy!

    -------

    The Night before Christmas (as it should be........)

    'Twas the night before Christmas,
    cold, dark and foreboding,
    I sat at the work bench,
    quite busy reloading.

    The empties from autumn were polished so clear
    for primers and powder and bullets from Speer
    and Hornady´s soft-points, and Nosler´s Partitions
    (my bench Ain’t no place for brand
    name omissions!).

    All sat in their boxes, right next to the
    press with dies from Pacific, and RCBS,
    when all of a sudden there came such a jolt,
    I grabbed for my Benelli and whipped out my Colt.

    As I spilled Hodgdon's powder all over the shelf,
    I scrambled for cover, just to protect myself.

    From up on the rooftop, came hoofbeats and snorting
    like the noise out of L'il Rock from Clinton's cavorting!

    I eased off the safety to press-check my
    auto with 230-talons I'll knock 'em all blotto.

    Were these rogue federal agents sent by Schumer and Reno ?
    Or a staggering Ted Kennedy, in bad need of vino?

    My question was answered with a knock, and some sneezing,
    "It's Santa, you moron, lemme in there, I'm freezing!"

    I flipped off the dead-bolt and threw the door wide
    to find St. Nick a shivering, Rudolph by his side.
    He eyeballed my A.K. with a nod of approval
    "You're all set," he said, "for dirtball removal."

    "But this is no raid, we're not here to harm you
    nor persecute, prosecute, nor even disarm you."
    "Instead," said dear Santa, "I needed to borrow
    your .357 'till day after tomorrow."

    "It's okay," he assured me, with a hint of frustration,
    "I'm enrolled in the National Rifle Association."

    He showed me his card, 'twas a Life Member rating,
    "I've had this since me and the missus were dating!"

    "And you see, Dave, ol' buddy, I've gotten real nervous
    since Feinstein was elected with a promise to serve us.


    So henceforth as I'm out there, my presents a stackin',
    I want to assure you, I'm legally packin'',
    and my gift for you this year should give you a hoot
    I've told the Supreme Court to give Brady the boot!

    Now, Rudy and I must be on our way,"
    he said as he climbed back in his sleigh.
    With the reins in his hand and my Colt in his pocket,
    he jingled the sleighbells and was off like a rocket.

    With a pair of speedloaders and ammo to spare,
    I knew he'd be safe, he was loaded for bear!

    As he faded from view, I could still hear him calling
    "From D.C., where 'P.C.' is already falling.
    To bad guys in L.A. , Detroit and Atlanta ,
    "I'm licensed to carry, don't go messin' with Santa!"
    I'll make you an offer: I will argue and fight for all of your rights, if you will do the same for me. That is the only way freedom can work. We have to respect all rights, all the time--and strive to win the rights of the other guy as much as for ourselves.

    If I am equal to another, how can I legitimately govern him without his express individual consent?

    There is no human being on earth I hate so much I would actually vote to inflict government upon him.

  2. #2
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    LOL
    A gun Owner Is A Citizen
    Anyone Else is a Subject

  3. #3
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    HAHAHAHA forwarded.
    -Unrequited

  4. #4
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    It occurs to me that it is misnamed.

    A Christmas Carol is the Charles Dickens story about Ebenezer Scrooge, no?


    I'll make you an offer: I will argue and fight for all of your rights, if you will do the same for me. That is the only way freedom can work. We have to respect all rights, all the time--and strive to win the rights of the other guy as much as for ourselves.

    If I am equal to another, how can I legitimately govern him without his express individual consent?

    There is no human being on earth I hate so much I would actually vote to inflict government upon him.

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