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Thread: Democrat, Republican or Southerner?

  1. #1
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    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

    Democrat's Answer:
    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

    .................................................. .................................................. ......

    Republican's Answer:
    BANG!

    .................................................. .................................................. ......

    Southerner's Answer:
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! Click

    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'

    Son: 'Can I shoot the next one!'

    Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

  2. #2
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    That's great. Definately unload both clips.

  3. #3
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    I guess I'm a Republican. I hit what I shoot at and I'm smart enough to know you can't shoot nine rounds out of an 8 round magazine on the reload.

  4. #4
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    Double Tap

  5. #5
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    I'd tend to think the Republican's answer to be something more along the lines of:

    Can I hire someone to go bust down the doors of everyone who lives on the street and search them and their houses for weapons?
    Is the attacker gay? If not, he's a good family man and I shouldn't shoot him. Unless he uses birth control...
    Maybe he's an immigrant. I should call INS and report him so he gets shipped back to Mexico. Oh, er, whatever country he came from?
    I wonder if he evolved or was intelligently designed?
    Can I try to convert him to Christianity? Maybe he won't want to kill me if I force my religion on him and his family.
    I think we need to come up with a new government agency to take care of things like this. Give it police powers, and a nice big budget that we'll pay for by inflating US currency even more.


    I can't argue with the Southerner's answer, though

  6. #6
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    imperialism2024 wrote:
    I'd tend to think the Republican's answer to be something more along the lines of:

    Can I hire someone to go bust down the doors of everyone who lives on the street and search them and their houses for weapons?
    Is the attacker gay? If not, he's a good family man and I shouldn't shoot him. Unless he uses birth control...
    Maybe he's an immigrant. I should call INS and report him so he gets shipped back to Mexico. Oh, er, whatever country he came from?
    I wonder if he evolved or was intelligently designed?
    Can I try to convert him to Christianity? Maybe he won't want to kill me if I force my religion on him and his family.
    I think we need to come up with a new government agency to take care of things like this. Give it police powers, and a nice big budget that we'll pay for by inflating US currency even more.


    I can't argue with the Southerner's answer, though

    Naaah.........not a Republican, more like a RINO.

    a Republican would go more like this;



    Bang! Bang! Bang!

    Daughter: 'Nice Mosanbeak dad.'

    Son: 'On the next one go for the head shot first!'

    Wife: 'My Hero!'





  7. #7
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    Nationalist...

    Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang!!

    Father: Nice shooting, kids!!





  8. #8
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    Jeff the Baptist wrote:
    I guess I'm a Republican. I hit what I shoot at and I'm smart enough to know you can't shoot nine rounds out of an 8 round magazine on the reload.
    One in the pipe. 9 bangs..... I still have 1/2 a magazine left before the reload.

  9. #9
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    Pauly wrote:
    Nationalist...

    Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang!!

    Father: Nice shooting, kids!!



    That is funny!



    I wish I would have thought of that.

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