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Thread: being polite is so passe

  1. #1
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    Went out with the lady this AM for some brunch. Ran out to the car and came back inside. As I was entering, I opened the door and left 6 people through in a family, from ages 25-60.

    Not ONE of them said thanks or even nodded a head.

    Now, I don't do it for the "thanks" I do it because it was how I was raised. But it grinds my gears.

    And it makes it even harder OC'ing. Pre-OC hsmith would say "your welcome" to the lack of thank you, but post-OCing hsmith knows better to stay away from provoking.

    I guess it is harder being stuck in an area where everyone is so self centered.

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    In Milwaukee they just mug you nicely.

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    hsmith wrote:
    And it makes it even harder OC'ing. Pre-OC hsmith would say "your welcome" to the lack of thank you, but post-OCing hsmith knows better to stay away from provoking.
    I know the feeling.

    But I think it's a good thing. Self-control and politeness are aspects of good citizenship, andthe thought of potential consequences reinforces it.

    The punks you held the door for fear no consequences, which is why they don't care.

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    I too hold doors for others... It is just nice and I have had others do the same for me. I have had times where I would get the first door and they get the second.

    But when they decline to respond to your act of kindness.... Do what I do.... say "You're welcome!" as they walk away.

    But if your OCing.... maybe they are just running away and forgot!!

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    Tomahawk wrote:
    hsmith wrote:
    And it makes it even harder OC'ing. Pre-OC hsmith would say "your welcome" to the lack of thank you, but post-OCing hsmith knows better to stay away from provoking.
    I know the feeling.

    But I think it's a good thing. Self-control and politeness are aspects of good citizenship, andthe thought of potential consequences reinforces it.

    The punks you held the door for fear no consequences, which is why they don't care.
    An armed society is a ______ society

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    ama-gi wrote:
    An armed society is a ______ society
    Filling in the blank depends on what group you belong to.

    Anti = Dangerous

    Pro = Polite



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    You make an interesting point. I also hold doors open for strangers as my parents taught me and it seems that a lot of people don't even know how to take it. It's like no one has ever held a door open for them before or they're so surprised by it that they are sceptical to walk through.

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    sailor628 wrote:
    You make an interesting point. I also hold doors open for strangers as my parents taught me and it seems that a lot of people don't even know how to take it. It's like no one has ever held a door open for them before or they're so surprised by it that they are sceptical to walk through.
    Probably thinking that this guy with a gun on his hip is going to rob them after entry..

    But it is true... some people act shocked and the offer to let me enter while you hold the door.

    It just goes to show that times change along with attitudes. It is not overnight... it is over decades. Same goes for people getting use to seeing people walk around with guns..... this is not something that the people are going to like immediately. They will get use to it eventually.

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    LEO 229 wrote:
    It just goes to show that times change along with attitudes. It is not overnight... it is over decades. Same goes for people getting use to seeing people walk around with guns..... this is not something that the people are going to like immediately. They will get use to it eventually.
    You're starting to sound like me....scary....

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    I used to always hold open doors for women, including car doors and do all those things I was taught growing up. In college, after the 3,000th (maybe a slight exaggeration) feminist yelled at me in a public place trying to embarrass me with the "I can do that myself. Do you think I'm too weak to open a door?" or "You think that just because I'm a woman I can't carry that?" I just quit a lot of those things. I've talked to a lot of guys over the years my age who shared that experience. Over the years I've gone back to doing most of those niceties but then I also don't get grief for doing them anymore either.
    Bob Owens @ Bearing Arms (paraphrased): "These people aren't against violence; they're very much in favor of violence. They're against armed resistance."

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    Regular Member Decoligny's Avatar
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    If I am going into or out of an building, I will be polite and hold the door for those going in the same direction as I am. The thing that chaps my hide is when I am entering or leaving, and some idiot going the other way decides that I just opened the door for them when I am actually trying to get through it myself. At 6'1" 230lbs I usually just step through taking up the whole doorway as if I didn't see them trying to go through "my" open door. It is usually in a place where there are two doors, and people are just too damned lazy to open the door on their own side.

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    deepdiver wrote:
    ...feminist yelled at me in a public place trying to embarrass me with the "I can do that myself. Do you think I'm too weak to open a door?" or "You think that just because I'm a woman I can't carry that?"...
    I had a nasty reaction like that before I just said 'I'm sorry Sir' stepped in front of her and walked through the door I was holding as closed behind me. I guess that eitherthe comment stopped her right in her tracks or she did indeed need the door held.

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    Toad wrote:
    deepdiver wrote:
    ...feminist yelled at me in a public place trying to embarrass me with the "I can do that myself. Do you think I'm too weak to open a door?" or "You think that just because I'm a woman I can't carry that?"...
    I had a nasty reaction like that before I just said 'I'm sorry Sir' stepped in front of her and walked through the door I was holding as closed behind me. I guess that eitherthe comment stopped her right in her tracks or she did indeed need the door held.
    I reacted similarly when I first encountered such reactions. The last time I encountered such a reaction I responded with something like, "I'm sorry, I was under the misimpression that you are a lady." Over the years I have come to realize that their reactions say a lot about them and nothing about me.
    Bob Owens @ Bearing Arms (paraphrased): "These people aren't against violence; they're very much in favor of violence. They're against armed resistance."

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    Toad wrote:
    deepdiver wrote:
    ...feminist yelled at me in a public place trying to embarrass me with the "I can do that myself. Do you think I'm too weak to open a door?" or "You think that just because I'm a woman I can't carry that?"...
    I had a nasty reaction like that before I just said 'I'm sorry Sir' stepped in front of her and walked through the door I was holding as closed behind me. I guess that eitherthe comment stopped her right in her tracks or she did indeed need the door held.
    OMG.. that was funny!!

    I will have to remember that if I ever have the same encounter. As I said earlier... attitudes change over time. A long time ago it was expected that a man would hold open the door and remember.. "Women and Children first!!"

    But now... It is every man for himself and holding the door is sometimes appreciated but no longer expected. I have known people to walk in right ahead of me and not look back to see if someone else was following. I always do this and will pause for a moment and let them in first. Makes no difference.. man, woman, or child.

    So when it comes to OC of guns.... it will take many years for attitudes to change about the idea. Just like way back when it was cool to have a rifle rack. Now-a-days... not so cool and "you must be a redneck."

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    Tomahawk wrote:
    LEO 229 wrote:
    It just goes to show that times change along with attitudes. It is not overnight... it is over decades. Same goes for people getting use to seeing people walk around with guns..... this is not something that the people are going to like immediately. They will get use to it eventually.
    You're starting to sound like me....scary....
    Must be those lunches we have together... :P

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    sailor628 wrote:
    You make an interesting point. I also hold doors open for strangers as my parents taught me and it seems that a lot of people don't even know how to take it. It's like no one has ever held a door open for them before or they're so surprised by it that they are sceptical to walk through.
    It's always interesting to hold doors for people in New York City... they don't know what to do. Same with granting right of way to other cars in traffic.

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    I always hold doors and whatnot, just raised right I guess...


    I don't go that far out of my way anymore, in terms of stopping to help people, unless there's a reason... older, obviously in need of help, etc.

    Here's why....


    (it's long, so be warned)


    I was doing some morning walking, and saw a lady in a newer acura on the side of the road with a flat tire. I offer to change her tire, she says yes, saying how late she was for an appointment and 'thanking' me.. I ask her to pop her trunk, I get out the tire, jack the car up, and start changing it, with traffic whizzing by... Well, she 'politely' asks how long it'll take, I tell her 'it's going to be a few mins, and you'll back on the road no problem' ... At this point she starts complaining about being late for her appointment, and asks if I could possibly hurry it up a bit.... She 'thanks' me again, and keeps stressing how important this 'appointment' is... implying that it was medical related (I can't remember exactly what she said)... Well, she gets on the phone, and I can hear her talking to someone else.. Talking about her NAIL appointment, to get her nails done, and how she'll have to wait another week if she can't get it done now, and how 'some retarded guy' (that would be me) is taking WAY too long changing her tire. At that point I had lowered the car and was putting the final twists on the nuts.... I was pissed... I get up, told her, 'alrighty, I'm done, you're ready to go' in a normal/polite manner. She says 'ok', comes back around, looks at it, then gets back into her car and starts it up... No 'thank you', nothing... So I stand there for a second just staring at her, she gets back out of her car,and she starts saying about how I took so long (~10 mins), and now I want to get paid for it (I didn't, I just wanted a thank you) and she begrudgingly holds out a few wrinkled 1$ bills... I told her I didn't want her money, that 'this retard' got paid pretty well, and all I was asking for was a thank you. She copped an attitude, got back in her car and left....

    One thing I forgot to mention, The spare? regular donut spare..crappy black steel wheel. The 500$ aluminum Acura rim with the flat tire on it? Still on the side of the road, right next to me. The trunk carpet that was covering up the jack, and the jack itself... Yup, you guessed it, right next to me as well.... I made sure to dispose of those properly..heh...

    New Acura rim with matching tire - $713.52
    New trunk carpet - $185.39
    New jack - $38.97

    Realizing that being a snotty bitch just cost you way more than a 'Thank you' - Priceless

    Evangelical lessons are provided upon request. Anyone wishing to meet Jesus can just kick in my door.

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    That's hilarious! Sounds like she got what she deserves. Thanks for sharing.

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    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! I LOVE THAT STORY!

    Please tell me it's true. PLEEEASE tell me it's true!

    Man, I know a lot of jarheads that would have done the same damn thing. Me included.

    Holy crap. that was funny.

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    Well done, weenie.

    -ljp

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    Weenie, now THAT is justice! Well done!

    I too am always polite and hold doors, but Iwas just raised that way. I've never had an issue with it, but no matter how crappy others might get, I'm not going to change who I am and compromise my integrity by lowering myself to their level.

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    TechnoWeenie wrote:
    snip

    New Acura rim with matching tire - $713.52
    New trunk carpet - $185.39
    New jack - $38.97

    Realizing that being a snotty bitch just cost you way more than a 'Thank you' - Priceless

    sounds like changing tires can be a lucrative business! why stop!

  23. #23
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    Rey wrote:
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! I LOVE THAT STORY!

    Please tell me it's true.* PLEEEASE tell me it's true!

    Man, I know a lot of jarheads that would have done the same damn thing. Me included.

    Holy crap. that was funny.
    Indeed it is true. I was pretty upset that I spent my time/effort, got dirty, on the side of the road, just being a nice guy, and this #%(&@# could only think about her nail appointment.....

    I was so tempted to take the spare OFF, but I figured it'd be even more work, which I wasn't about to do at that point..
    Evangelical lessons are provided upon request. Anyone wishing to meet Jesus can just kick in my door.

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    Weenie, I would send that in to the local paper! That would actually make a great story and play it up as she took off an abandoned the tire and equipment - just deserts! If she read that, she would be SO pissed!

    (Don't mention the sale price!)



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    I am a feminst aka independant woman in a "manly" profession, but I will welcome any man who wants to, to open a door for me, or to do other manly things for me. A man who helps carry something heavy is also quite nice. I'd welcome the flat tire change too, but I would be wary of any man I do not know ( other than aaa guys in aaa vehicles afterI called aaa) stopping to help due to the stuffI was taught growing up about rapists. IfI was carrying, then I would just watch him in cond yellow and not worry so much, but I live in this godforsaken pro crime state whereI couldn't do that legally within the state.

    BTW it is firstly a man's job to protect his family, but the mothers job also to protect her kids, or herself be she alone, or if 2 people are needed against attackers. If some nutjob broke into my house, it would be nice for my dad to do the shooting instead of me, but that would not happen due to dad's " I can't touch guns" thing . If it came to shooting someone, I would get the task and I don't know if I could handle all the legal crap afterwards. It seems manly to handle all that legal crap, and I may be manly in other curcumstances, but I am not THAT manly.

    As to ettiquette, there is still plenty in the little PA towns and in York city as well. But OMG go down towards Baltimore, and its just every person for themselves. Some of that is up here, but not too bad. I however cannot stand the tailgating on back roads! Some daysI am already irritated ( PMS perhaps LOL), and if I get 1 idiot driver after another, I just get to near fuming. But I don't let the idiot drivers know, other than if I opt to go the speed limit rather than 5-10 above I was doing before they came up on my butt. Road raging against these idiots is just stupid, but I guess fantasizing shooting them or having a huge deer go through their windsheild is ok, right? LOL

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