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Thread: Count me in as a Typical White Person...

  1. #1
    Campaign Veteran Nelson_Muntz's Avatar
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    Good morning all. Just a lil something to make you bitter and clingy about.

    http://www.townhall.com/columnists/D...america?page=2

    I’m a bitter/clingy gun owner—and I’m happy about it!

    Obama, the great healer of America, the hope of our nation, came out last week and whizzed on millions of Christians and firearm fans calling us bitter Cling-Ons to religion and guns. I, personally, wasn’t insulted because I really like God and my rifles, and I make a good living off my rage.

    Yes, when I heard BHO blast us in front of his sassy San Fran crowd and attempt to put a dig into us plebeians, I thought, finally, this man has spoken the truth, unlike all the rest of the stercore tuari he’s been spewing about his dear pastor, his home boy, Bill Ayers, and his audacity of hype.

    Matter of fact, I think he’s rather spot on describing me because I’m one PO’ed Christian who owns guns—nice guns and very many guns. And, yes, I’m rather clingy with them. I’m not alone either, as there are millions of other brothers, from other mothers, who really, really are endeared to our God-given right to self defense and firearm fun. Can I hear a big amen, my brothers?

    Yes, Barack, you may rightly call millions of us men “clingy” because the truth is, when the workday is done, boys just wanna have guns: guns to hunt with, guns to look at, guns for personal defense and a few zany lead spewers should al-Qaeda, or the anti-Christ, or any foreign or domestic threat, or Godzilla ever attack America, we, the clingy ones, will be ready to rock in a hard place, guaranteed.

    Here are eight factoids I found that also cause backwards little old me to clutch my wood and metal friend called the gun:

    1. In 1929, the Soviet Union established gun control. From 1929 to 1953, about 20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

    2. In 1911, Turkey established gun control. From 1915 to 1917, 1.5 million Armenians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

    3. Germany established gun control in 1938, and from 1939 to 1945, a total of 13 million Jews and others who were unable to defend themselves were rounded up and exterminated.

    4. China established gun control in 1935. From 1948 to 1952, 20 million political dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated

    5. Guatemala established gun control in 1964. From 1964 to 1981, 100,000 Mayan Indians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

    6. Uganda established gun control in 1970. From 1971 to 1979, 300,000 Christians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

    7. Cambodia established gun control in 1956. From 1975 to 1977, one million people, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

    8. Defenseless people rounded up and exterminated in the 20th Century because of gun control: 56 million.

    As the old adage goes: “With guns, we are citizens. Without them, we are subjects.” Therefore, I’ll cling to my gun because I really enjoy being a free bird and truly hate kissing someone else’s backside, but that’s just me.

    So, Barack, since you threw that supposed insult at me and millions of other gun-needy Americans, I am going to react by doing the five following things:

    1. I am going to walk up to my gun cabinet and hug and kiss all of my rifles and shotguns and tell them they are really good guns no matter what any far-left liberal lug nut says about them.

    2. Since I just finished my new book, How to Keep Thugs and Bad Boys Away from Daddy’s Little Girl (Thomas Nelson, December 2008), I need a break. Let’s see, what can I do? I know, I just got a custom Ruger #1 elephant gun in 450/400 Nitro Express. I think I’ll go out and celebrate with it in the South Florida swamps next weekend. Clingy me is going to baptize it in wild boar blood as a sort of a cordite warm-up pitch before I go bear hunting in Maine this summer, aoudad and mountain lion hunting in West Texas this fall, and Cape Buffalo hunting in Africa the summer of ‘09. I’m so clingy!

    3. I’m going to buy the new Ruger .380 LCP for my lady because she, too, is also kinda clingy.

    4. I’m going to cling more to God and Christ than I ever have before.

    5. I’m going to vote for John McCain.



  2. #2
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    PLUS ONE 'cept for the Manchurian Candidate

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    Regular Member Huck's Avatar
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    mark edward marchiafava wrote:
    You had "amens" coming from these quarters until you ruint it with that mention of mad man McCain.
    I agree about McCain but if it came down to a choice of only McCain, Hussein Obama, or the Hildebeest who would you want in the white house?
    "You can teach 'em, but you cant learn 'em."

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    Regular Member Huck's Avatar
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    mark edward marchiafava wrote:
    If an outright miracle of biblical proportions doesn't occur and Ron Paul is the republican candidate, as of today, it's going to have to be Chuck Baldwin.
    I'm in agreement about Ron Paul, he's the best candidate I've everseen. Chuck Baldwin looks good too but his stance against women in the Military could cost him a lotta votes.
    "You can teach 'em, but you cant learn 'em."

  5. #5
    Regular Member MetalChris's Avatar
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    Huck wrote:
    mark edward marchiafava wrote:
    If an outright miracle of biblical proportions doesn't occur and Ron Paul is the republican candidate, as of today, it's going to have to be Chuck Baldwin.
    I'm in agreement about Ron Paul, he's the best candidate I've everseen. Chuck Baldwin looks good too but his stance against women in the Militarywill cost him a lotta votes.
    QFT, with one minor correction (in red.)

  6. #6
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    Nelson: Well put; it's something everyone needs to remember.

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    Campaign Veteran kimbercarrier's Avatar
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    I like it, very well put except he forgot about the zombies.

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    Huck wrote:
    mark edward marchiafava wrote:
    You had "amens" coming from these quarters until you ruint it with that mention of mad man McCain.
    I agree about McCain but if it came down to a choice of only McCain, Hussein Obama, or the Hildebeest who would you want in the white house?
    I don't support any of them, and I don't want any of them in the white house, but fortunately, there is a "write-in" line. I can still write in Ron Paul. People keep telling me that I'm just voting in protest, but I disagree. I am voting for the person that I want to be president. I think that voting to try to maximize the "value" of your vote is the kind of retarded thinking that got us into this mess. I know that my vote only counts for one vote, and I'm content with that. The only thing that matters to meis that it counts as one vote for Ron Paul.

  9. #9
    Regular Member MetalChris's Avatar
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    expvideo wrote:
    Huck wrote:
    mark edward marchiafava wrote:
    You had "amens" coming from these quarters until you ruint it with that mention of mad man McCain.
    I agree about McCain but if it came down to a choice of only McCain, Hussein Obama, or the Hildebeest who would you want in the white house?
    I don't support any of them, and I don't want any of them in the white house, but fortunately, there is a "write-in" line. I can still write in Ron Paul. People keep telling me that I'm just voting in protest, but I disagree. I am voting for the person that I want to be president. I think that voting to try to maximize the "value" of your vote is the kind of retarded thinking that got us into this mess. I know that my vote only counts for one vote, and I'm content with that. The only thing that matters to meis that it counts as one vote for Ron Paul.
    And the beauty of that is, since our state is overwhelmingly BLUE, we can write in RP and itwill have no impact on the election whatsoever, because WA state will go Dem no matter who we vote for.

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