Dating

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I am a single 25 yr old and I sometimes meet women off the internet to date. (Its just easier that way) I open carry but sometimes I am unsure how some of these women will react to it. Should I throw it our there before the date or just not even mention it or discuss it until she notices?

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Tough question. The thing is, your new potential g/f could be one of four major groups: pro-gun and pro-OC, pro-gun but anti-OC, anti-gun but convinceable otherwise, and totally, unconvinceably anti-gun. If she's pro-OC, home run. If she's totally and rabidly anti, the date's over as soon as she finds out you're a gun person and there's little you're going to do to change that.

But, most people are somewhere in between; they either like guns butregard OC as "the cowboy macho look", or they don't like guns but only because they have no firsthand experience with them and get their opinions from political pundits. You stand a good chance of changing the mind of a girlfriend who falls in either of these two groups. However, you will probably set yourself back quite a bit by being openly and forcefully pro-gun (in their mind) by OCing.

It all boils down to whether you want to bother trying to change your g/f's mind, or just say goodbye after the first date if she's not as pro-gun as you,and try your luck with the next girl. If you want to give talking a try, I'd conceal the gun if you can legally do so or leave it in the car if you cannot,bring up guns as an interest duringan opportune moment, gauge her reaction, and work from there.Personally, I'd go this route; Ihave not yet met someone who didn't at least understand the need for an average Joe to have a handgun, and even though the majority of people I've discussed the matter with have been somewhat skittish, they're generally open to the idea ofhaving atarget shooting pistol if not a carry/home defense weapon.

If you don't want tohave to change a potential g/f's mind about guns, just OC. You'll quickly weed out the antis, that's for sure. Trouble is, you never get a second chance to make a first impression, and even if your g/f has a concealed carry permit, a gun on the hip of someone you've never met can be unsettling. A girl may not need any convincing; just time to adjust to the sight of guns being around. Meeting you with a gun on your hip gives her approximately zero time to adjust, so you will probably weed out all but the most pro-gun girls before the first hello.

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Showing up with a gun - especially with a new acquaintance - is probably going to get you dismissed as a creepy guy. I wouldn't blame a chick for running away if I did that. Even if she's OK with it, her friends are likely to poison her mind against you when she gives the details of your dates at girl-talk sessions. I was with my gf for a while before I got my current job, so it was easier for her to acclimate to my carrying. She still thinks I have macho pretension "issues" about it though. She's just not a gun person. Fine - more for me. ;-/

I'd discuss it first before showing up at her door packing. Maybe lock it in the trunk or conceal it if you can for the time being.

-ljp

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If it is that important to you then you should bring the subject up in conversation before committing to other activities. It is no different than other criteria used to prescreen potential mates: How would they react to your chosen career, your religion, your educational background, etc., etc.

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Aberk wrote:

I am a single 25 yr old and I sometimes meet women off the internet to date. (Its just easier that way) I open carry but sometimes I am unsure how some of these women will react to it. Should I throw it our there before the date or just not even mention it or discuss it until she notices?

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It has been a LONG time since I was dating, but I do have some thoughts.



When I met my wife.....at a dance, we went home to my place....which I shared with 5 other guys....and we talked for hours and hours....yea we kissed some too, but mostly we talked....

We shared everything we could about ourselves to each other and before our first date she knew more about me and me about her than any one else.

We shared the real important things and we knew we wanted to be with that other person.

If I were dating today and I met someone on the Internet that I was thinking about meeting in real life....I would share with them the real me which includes my desire to protect myself and others and the fact that I carry a gun.

I would want to know up front if they are interested in ME and not in the false persona, all to oftendisplayed on the Internet.

I had guns back then, but I did not carry a gun.

My wife not only accepts me carrying, but expects me to carry and protect her and ours.

We shared the same values then and we still do. I think it is important to know these types of things, before you get romantically involved with someone that may not truly accept the real you.

That is just my .02 on the matter.



Tarzan



PS In a week I will have been married 36 years. :dude:

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If she's pro-OC, home run.

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At first I read this as, "If she's pro-OC, run home." LOL!



I have been wondering this myself, as I am currently single. I have not met anyone I'd consider dating in the past few months, but this is a concern of mine as well. I think it is probably best to state up front what your interests are, including firearms and carrying. If they don't like this at all, as the first response said, then of course you're not going to be dating for long. It's probably best for them to find this out up front, so that you don't end up wasting time or getting into an unneccessary argument after or during your date.

My concern is that there may not be a whole lot of folks out there who are willing to be around someone who OC's. I don't know for sure, but it just seems like the average person either doesn't like it or is somehow frightened.

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You could always just set up the date at the shooting range, that'll weed any anti's out quickly

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Weak 9mm wrote:

....My concern is that there may not be a whole lot of folks out there who are willing to be around someone who OC's. I don't know for sure, but it just seems like the average person either doesn't like it or is somehow frightened.

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That is probably a good concern. I would probably CC at first, even if she was OK with the knowledge that I carried.

When I started to carry some 9 years ago, at first I carried concealed, as I did not know that you could carry open and frankly I wasn't ready to carry that way.

As time went on and I learned I could open carry, I was more comfortable and started to carry either way, as the need seemed to present its self.

My wife said, sometime back, that she was glad that I no longer worried about keeping my gun concealed as it was just so much more natural to just carry it as the situation allowed.



Tarzan

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VTNGNR wrote:

You could always just set up the date at the shooting range, that'll weed any anti's out quickly

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That was going to be my plan.

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Aberk wrote:

I am a single 25 yr old and I sometimes meet women off the internet to date. (Its just easier that way) I open carry but sometimes I am unsure how some of these women will react to it. Should I throw it our there before the date or just not even mention it or discuss it until she notices?

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"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." -- Sigmund Freud, General Introduction to Psychoanalysis (1952)

Tell her before hand that you carry. If she doesn't agree with your god given right, then find someone who will.

Plenty of fish in the sea... blah, blah, blah, and all that shit.

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I would carry...what if you don't and show up and she is carrying???haha....Even up here in "liberal" CT...i rarely meet people who are anti-gun...maybe its just who i hang around though..

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Bravo_Sierra wrote:

Aberk wrote:

I am a single 25 yr old and I sometimes meet women off the internet to date. (Its just easier that way) I open carry but sometimes I am unsure how some of these women will react to it. Should I throw it our there before the date or just not even mention it or discuss it until she notices?

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"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." -- Sigmund Freud, General Introduction to Psychoanalysis (1952)

Tell her before hand that you carry. If she doesn't agree with your god given right, then find someone who will.

Plenty of fish in the sea... blah, blah, blah, and all that shit.

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B_S, I agree with you. I would tell her upfront that I carry, BOTH CCW and OC, but that I OC pretty much all the time.

And taking her to a range/BLM area is an awesome idea.

TJ

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Well with me, before I met my wife, I went on dates with girls and I did not tell them I carried until later.
You may want to let her see you are a nice guy for a few dates. Then let her see you holster your pistol before going on a date with her. If she says " what's that, tell her "Oh I've had this with me every time we've gone on a date. Just for protection "
My friend and his g/f came over one time and we all were going out, she saw me put on my shoulder holster, check my pistol and holster my 1911, and put on my coat in front of the mirror, and said to her B/F" I didn't know he carried a gun, why don't you carry a gun? That is so sexy," ….( he told me that later) Then later on we all went shooting together… The lady you talk about may just think it is sexy. I would not OC to soon, it might be atoo much.

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I met my fiancee on an internet site. In my profile under hobbies I had something like: Going to the gun range for target practice and supporting second amendment rights.

That weeded out some people right there. I actually had several women key in on that and ask about it. My fiancee was not anti when I met her but she had never been around anyone who carries a firearm. It was a totally alien thought to her and her friends. On our first date she asked about it. She brought it up in the context of, "Do you really carry a gun? Are you carrying one right now? Can I see it?" Then we went through the whole, "What if it goes off accidently in the holster" stuff. We went for a walk by the river and the river park with "panic phones" every 50' and she hugged my arm and said something like, "I guess I don't need those with you here." I didn't say anything about it and just put my arm around her.

A short time later her friends started in with the, "OMG he carries a gun!!!!1!1! What if he shoots you!!!1!!!!11!" stuff. By then we had a few dates and she told them that she had never felt safer with a man before. Her ex-husband was the save his own butt type. She told them that she just knew, without having to ask, that I would always protect her and that my carrying a gun was just another part of my caring enough about myself, and her and the community to see to my own safety and ability to defend those things that matter to me. At least that is what they told me she said.

She is not yet convinced that she needs to carry a gun, but we are working on it. She has agreed to take the CCW class with the understanding that once she has the training certificate she may not go on and actually get her CCW (CC only in the town I live in and where her family lives). She no longer moves the pistols holding them with 2 fingers like she is removing a dead mouse from a trap. And she has been shooting with me a few times. We are certainly headed in teh right direction.

Anyway, I think the basis for that discussion was set by the fact that she knew upfront from my profile that I had some involvement with firearms. It opened the door to that issue coming up early in our conversations. So there ya go, FWIW.

ETA: All of her g/f's now think that it is cool that I carry. When people I haven't met come over to the house they almost always bring up the fact that I carry and, if there is negative comment or objection, they go on to defend my right to do so. None of them have decided to go that route, but I have awakened a few dozen people to a positive opinion of carry rights and the positive reasons to exercise that right.

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Aberk wrote:

VTNGNR wrote:

You could always just set up the date at the shooting range, that'll weed any anti's out quickly

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That was going to be my plan.

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I've done the range thingon a second date and it ended up working out very well. As another poster suggested, if you are using an internet dating site, you should have some information in your profile regarding this issue so that it's not a total surprise to her when you are out. If you are open and honest about things up-front, it may show her that you are a guy that can betrusted.

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I've only dated 1 girl so far who was upset with my carrying a weapon (I was actually CCing but thru "circumstances" she became aware of it).....haven't heard from her since. With others I bring it up in conversation as early as reasonable. So far the worst kind of reaction I've had is they mostly don't really care one way or the other that I'm armed (whether CC or OC). My myspace page and other sites have gun logos and quotes/sayings on them, subtle tho since I'm trying not to come across as a "gun-nut" or anything

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I tend to go with the idea of discussing firearms before the date. It weeds out the anti's fairly quickly. In high school, back when firearms were kind of a secondary interest to me, I had a girl with who I was involved suddenly start avoiding me and stop talking to me. I later found out that it was because she overheard me mention that I bought a new shotgun. Whoops. :shock:

It was a good shotgun, though.

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imperialism2024 wrote:

I tend to go with the idea of discussing firearms before the date. It weeds out the anti's fairly quickly. In high school, back when firearms were kind of a secondary interest to me, I had a girl with who I was involved suddenly start avoiding me and stop talking to me. I later found out that it was because she overheard me mention that I bought a new shotgun. Whoops. :shock:

It was a good shotgun, though.

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Speaking of a good shotgun, last night at Dick's I discovered the Mossy 930 SPX. Holy crap the thing is beautiful! I'd never heard about it before seeing it last night...

/offtopic :celebrate

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Wow, I guess I was just lucky. My wife was a gun owner before we met.

on that note...

"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." -- Sigmund Freud, General Introduction to Psychoanalysis (1952)

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...thanks for posting that quote Bravo_Sierra- that explains a lot about my EX wife. :lol:

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Dahwg wrote:

Wow, I guess I was just lucky. My wife was a gun owner before we met.

on that note...

"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." -- Sigmund Freud, General Introduction to Psychoanalysis (1952)

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...thanks for posting that quote Bravo_Sierra- that explains a lot about my EX wife. :lol:

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Yeah, well, use it, but Freud's theories have been largely discredited. Not all things in life can be, or should be, boiled down to sex and/or aggression. This particular quote can still be justified without Freud; most fears concerning weapons boil down to the following: "Those who have weapons are capable of killing me. I do not want to die and so I do not want them to have that power over me". This does indeed indicate an immaturity; the belief that some parental entity should protect you from others. The other major argument involves the gun as an intelligent or at least intelligence-modifying object, and by its very presence it is thus more likely to be used. This is also immature as it is irrational and emotionally based.