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Thread: HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH

  1. #1
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    HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH





    1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16
    work boots.

    2. Place them on your front porch, along with copies of "Guns & Ammo
    Magazine."

    3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

    4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

    Hey Bubba,
    Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an
    hour.
    Don't mess with the pit bulls---they attacked the mailman this
    morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it,
    but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all 4 of
    'em in the house.
    Better wait outside.
    Cooter

    :shock:....:what:....:celebrate....

    TJ


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    SC's next previous AG Charlie Condon made good on his promise not to prosecute homeowners killing home invaders. McMaster has politicized the decision. The prosecutors DA and ADA are in disarray.

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    UTOC-45-44 wrote:
    HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH ...
    I believe that I've got that one covered. I have a nearly 90 lb boxer, and I wear a size 11 1/2. between that, the fact that everyone in the neighborhood knows that I have several guns.

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    Campaign Veteran deepdiver's Avatar
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    Laff -- nice idea.

    I'm most of the way there. I wear a size 14, I have gun magazines and catalogs, I have 3 large dogs, the small one is 75 lbs and all have large bowls (and bowels too as testified to by the huge piles of dog poo in the back yard) and my neighbors have seen friends "stage" range trips at my house (including one neighbor who goes with us) with 5-6 guys out in the yard loading multiples of firearms and boxes of ammo into the few vehicles we were taking. I just need to stick the note out front and move the size 14 boots from the back porch to the front.
    Bob Owens @ Bearing Arms (paraphrased): "These people aren't against violence; they're very much in favor of violence. They're against armed resistance."

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    UTOC-45-44 wrote:
    HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH





    1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16
    work boots.

    2. Place them on your front porch, along with copies of "Guns & Ammo
    Magazine."

    3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

    4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

    Hey Bubba,
    Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an
    hour.
    Don't mess with the pit bulls---they attacked the mailman this
    morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it,
    but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all 4 of
    'em in the house.
    Better wait outside.
    Cooter

    :shock:....:what:....:celebrate....

    TJ
    That is some funny **** right there!

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    Bahaha!
    Why open carry? Because 1911 > 911.

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    :celebrate:celebrate:celebrate:celebrate

    Best post I've read today!

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    Regular Member MetalChris's Avatar
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    Sheriff wrote:
    It is funny, but I think this post tops it.

    http://www.crownvic.us/forum/showthread.php?t=7069
    OMG, that was freaking funny!

  9. #9
    Regular Member mpgnc64's Avatar
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    That is too damn funny! Gotta show the wife that one.

  10. #10
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    How to install a home security system in the south

    Quote Originally Posted by UTOC-45-44 View Post
    HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH





    1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16
    work boots.

    2. Place them on your front porch, along with copies of "Guns & Ammo
    Magazine."

    3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

    4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

    Hey Bubba,
    Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an
    hour.
    Don't mess with the pit bulls---they attacked the mailman this
    morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it,
    but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all 4 of
    'em in the house.
    Better wait outside.
    Cooter

    :shock:....:what:....:celebrate....

    TJ



    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  11. #11
    Campaign Veteran since9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Roughneckreed View Post
    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    I'd make a couple of inward punctures through the door, followed by a twenty going in the opposite direction, along with a sign that said," Sorry about the mess, but with three of threes last week, I've got to help clean the halls, or it's really going to stick.
    The First protects the Second, and the Second protects the First. Together, they protect the rest of our Bill of Rights and our United States Constitution, and help We the People protect ourselves in the spirit of our Declaration of Independence.

  12. #12
    Regular Member Uber_Olafsun's Avatar
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    How to install a home security system in the south

    I still need to add a big dog to mine. I have a Pomeranian that sounds vicious as hell barking. I need a big dog that doesn't bark so if someone is breaking in they will think I have a little rat dog. Surprise! Then again if you attacked someone in the house the Pom might go Cujo on them.

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