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HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH

U

UTOC-45-44

Regular Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2007
Messages
2,579
Location
Morgan, Utah, USA
imported post

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH





1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16
work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with copies of "Guns & Ammo
Magazine."

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba,
Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an
hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls---they attacked the mailman this
morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it,
but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all 4 of
'em in the house.
Better wait outside.
Cooter

:shock:....:what:....:celebrate....

TJ
 
U

unreconstructed1

Regular Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2008
Messages
695
Location
Tennessee, ,
imported post

UTOC-45-44 wrote:
HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH ...
Click to expand...
I believe that I've got that one covered. I have a nearly 90 lb boxer, and I wear a size 11 1/2. between that, the fact that everyone in the neighborhood knows that I have several guns.
 
deepdiver

deepdiver

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Apr 2, 2007
Messages
5,820
Location
Southeast, Missouri, USA
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Laff -- nice idea.

I'm most of the way there. I wear a size 14, I have gun magazines and catalogs, I have 3 large dogs, the small one is 75 lbs and all have large bowls (and bowels too as testified to by the huge piles of dog poo in the back yard) and my neighbors have seen friends "stage" range trips at my house (including one neighbor who goes with us) with 5-6 guys out in the yard loading multiples of firearms and boxes of ammo into the few vehicles we were taking. I just need to stick the note out front and move the size 14 boots from the back porch to the front.
 
B

Bravo_Sierra

Regular Member
Joined
Jul 5, 2007
Messages
912
Location
Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
imported post

UTOC-45-44 wrote:
HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH





1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16
work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with copies of "Guns & Ammo
Magazine."

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba,
Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an
hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls---they attacked the mailman this
morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it,
but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all 4 of
'em in the house.
Better wait outside.
Cooter

:shock:....:what:....:celebrate....

TJ
Click to expand...
That is some funny shit right there!
 
X

XD9guy

New member
Joined
Jun 3, 2008
Messages
3
Location
, ,
imported post

:celebrate:celebrate:celebrate:celebrate

Best post I've read today!
 
R

Roughneckreed

Regular Member
Joined
Jul 3, 2012
Messages
18
Location
Alabama
How to install a home security system in the south

UTOC-45-44 said:
HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH





1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16
work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with copies of "Guns & Ammo
Magazine."

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba,
Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an
hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls---they attacked the mailman this
morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it,
but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all 4 of
'em in the house.
Better wait outside.
Cooter

:shock:....:what:....:celebrate....

TJ
Click to expand...




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Uber_Olafsun

Uber_Olafsun

Regular Member
Joined
Dec 9, 2009
Messages
583
Location
Alexandria, Virginia, United States
How to install a home security system in the south

I still need to add a big dog to mine. I have a Pomeranian that sounds vicious as hell barking. I need a big dog that doesn't bark so if someone is breaking in they will think I have a little rat dog. Surprise! Then again if you attacked someone in the house the Pom might go Cujo on them.
 
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