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The .45ACP is not particularly different than the 9mm in terms of performance, but if she shoots best with it then it seems like a logical choice.
I like my S&W 642 Airweight, I can carry it everywhere and I'm a skinny guy. I have trouble even CCing a Glock 26 to be honest. The only gun I've found that is reasonable for CC is the S&W, it has an internal hammer and isn't likely to snag. There are smaller guns of course but they are so tiny that you can't practice with them very much and a lot of them can't use +P ammo. This revolver will work when needed and if you get Double Tap's .38 Special +P load you'll send a 125gr Low Velocity Gold Dot out of a 1.875" barrel at 1100fps and 336ft.lb.!!! That is insane performance for a .38 Special and when I realized that I wouldn't be restricted to 200ft.lb. with a snubby I was perfectly fine with the .38Sp+P. It's an awesome gun and it only weighs 12oz, so it's super easy to carry all day everyday. At 1o'clock IWB, I can carry it everywhere and it has never once been noticed (Even by family members who would be extremely rude about it). It doesn't even print when I wear relatively tight fitting shirts.
I use a Clip Draw so I always carry it at 1o'clock IWB. I can carry it with pants or shorts, with or without a belt and with or without pockets. That makes it incredibly useful. I almost always carry 10 extra rounds with me in HKS #36A Speedloaders. 15 rounds isn't bad and the speedloaders make reloading very quick. The 642 also just feels right in my hand. It has an extremely natural feel when aiming it. It comes on sight instinctively and it feels extremely balanced, comfortable and controllable in my hand. The simplicity of use is on the level of a Glock of course, which is great because I love my Glocks, just pull the trigger and keep pulling until you're done.
I don't know how big or small she is, but concealing full sized or compact models is nearly impossible for me unless I'm wearing a huge coat or something. I have to have sub-compacts and snubbies. Even the XDSC and S&W M&P Compact were too big (The XD's slide is massive and the M&P is just large overall when compared with the G26), the only subcompact semi-auto I've found that is acceptable in size is the Glock 26. The lack of a pinky grip isn't a problem for me at all, I don't find myself holding any firearm particularly tightly with my pinky anyway. I hold it with my middle two fingers and use my weakside hand to control it. The pinky is there for a bit of control, but it doesn't do much and I find it's surprisingly natural to simply not use it as well. I can actually shoot the G26 regularly with no control issues and it will take +P+ ammo all day long, unlike a super small gun like the Kel-Tec PF-9. My Glocks have been so incredibly reliable and simple that I have trouble getting different makes anyway, I trust these 9mm Glocks to work every time. Same with the 642, it will eat anything that it can be fed and will fire. If it doesn't, keep pulling the trigger!
Depending upon how long it will be before she gets her CC permit, it may be best to go with a Full Sized handgun. That will give the most velocity of course and will offer the best performance. If she's going to take the CC course soon though, the S&W 642 Airweight is a good idea because then she'll save a bit over the XD and be able to put that towards the course. It ended up costing me a little over $200 to get my CC permit after all of it was said and done. $120 course, $80 application fee and $15 fingerprint fee IIRC. Then I had to wait exactly 4 weeks to get the permit, which was a lot quicker than I'd expected.
If she gets the 642, just get her some very good loads like Double Tap and Extreme Shock's Enhance Penetration Frangible round. That way you can maximize the performance of the .38 Special. Even if you get her the XD in 9mm or .45ACP, I still HIGHLY recommend Double Tap's loads, they are priced right and are extremely powerful. They make a 9mm round that pushes a 115gr Gold Dot to 1415fps and 511ft.lb. out of a 4.5" barrel Glock 17. Their 124gr and 147gr 9mm Gold Dot loads are also sickeningly potent. Extreme Shock's 9mm (And up) loads are super deadly. Jeff at Gunblast dropped a big hog in it's tracks with a S&W M&P Full Size 9mm using that load. People have killed 200-300lb hogs with nothing more than a .32ACP or .32NAA in one or two shots using the ES EP round. Pigs are rather similar to humans in terms of their "ballistics," and if it drops a 275lb hog in it's tracks I believe it will have similar performance on two legged swine. I carry Extreme Shock's Fang Face (Which appears to have been discontinued in favor of promoting the Enhanced Penetration) in the primary mag for my Glock 26 and of course one is in the chamber. My secondary mag is Federal's +P+ 124gr LE Hydrashok.
If you're interested in getting some Law Enforcement (Henceforth dubbed "LE") loads you can PM me. The 9mm is incredibly cheap to load up well. $15-$20 for 50 rounds of +P or +P+ LE ammo. Double Tap's 9mm loads are $27/50rds, which is the same price as Speer's LE Gold Dots anyway and DT loads them much more aggressively resulting in significant velocity improvements. DT also some how manages to do the impossible with their powders, many handloaders cannot reach the velocities DT reaches without causing overpressurization. But DT is awesome about that. Plus you're getting a nickel coated case (By Starline I believe) and a bonded core Gold Dot bullet, all with low flash powders and higher velocity than any other 9mm or .38 Special load. Especially when you consider that 20 Personal Defense Speer Gold Dots that perform significantly worse than DT's loads will run you $25+ for 20 rounds. Double Tap is an insane deal at $27 for 50 rounds.
Of course, it's worth it to make sure she has the best loads available in her caliber. I perfer light and fast because everything I've read (Jeff at Gunblast has researched several thousand shootings and came to the same conclusion) has stated that the lighter and faster loads stop the attack faster. They may not necessarily be more deadly, but the increased energy means they hit harder. They also tend to stop in a shorter distance than heavier loads. If you think about it, if they have more energy and stop more quickly that will result in the energy being fully delivered in a shorter time period. This gives higher acceleration, and I don't mean "deceleration," (I'm not a fan of the word since acceleration can be positive or negative) and a greater force being delivered to the target. So I go as light as is reasonable for the gun and the time of year (What clothing it will have to go through). In my Glock 26, I really prefer to have 124gr loads in the summer and 147gr loads for the winter because of the reduced velocity provided by the 3.5" barrel. In my Glock 17 I prefer 115gr loads in the summer and 124gr loads in the winter. The only 147gr 9mm load I would really be comfortable carrying is the Double Tap load though. It's the only one I've seen that really has a nasty punch behind it. A review is on their webpage that states the following about the 147gr Gold Dot:
"I tried these out for the first time and wow! They are by far the most potent 9mm round I have ever experimented with. I tried a few rounds on Cottontails and Jack Rabbits and the results were amazing. The tissue damage was extreme to say the least, not only were my rounds taking chunks of muscle through the exit channels, but whole muscles and bone fragments were being pulled through. The chemistry of the velocity matched with the bullet weight is unbeatable. It is surprisingly low in muzzle flash and recoil and is very accurate. The 10mm is the only caliber I would consider above this round for self defense. As of now my XD-9 Tactical is loaded with the 147gr +P and I have no worries."
There are plenty more reviews like that. People say the 124gr load tears up a slab of beef "like you wouldn't believe." People chrono their ammo and often find that it was under-rated and performs even better than advertised. One guy got the same velocity that was advertised for a 4" barrel out of a 3" barrel with one of their loads. Their choice of powder is so good that they don't seem to lose much velocity when you put them through a short barrel. Here is Double Tap's ammo page:
http://www.doubletapammo.com/php/catalog/index.php?cPath=21&osCsid=8f3d7855771e5dd2b1dc1dcb393cef34