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Wife drops the OC bomb on me yesterday. :(

LovesHisXD45

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580
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, Utah, USA
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Can you believe my wife said she doesn't want me to OC at parks and places with kids around???? I told her, on the way to my daughter's soccer game Saturday, that I wished I had all my gear together so I could do my first OC at the game. She about blew a head gasket and dropped the bomb on me that she didn't want me to do it because "Tooele is a safe place and there are too many kids around". She also said this BS, "It's not like Salt Lake. If we were in Salt Lake, I would say go for it". !!!!!!

Can you believe this???? My own wife!!! Well... considering what she has already put me through this year, this probably comes as no surprise to some. I have been telling her all about my plans to OC for months, and not once has she voiced anything but support until yesterday. GRRRRRRR

I tried to steer her to this site, but she isn't interested. She is one of those complacent ones who thinks the world is all rosy and safe and nothing is going to happen, especially at a soccer game for young kids. What am I going to do about this? Doh! She is using gun control on me through the deligated powers of a controlling spouse. I'm screwed. I guess I'll be using the ole Supertuck, once I actually get it, for those soccer games and park activities. :( Oh well, Winter is right around the corner anyways. I guess I'll just grin and bare it till next spring. Maybe she'll change her mind by then if we're still together.

Kevin
 
M

mdgary

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imported post

LovesHisXD45 wrote:
Can you believe my wife said she doesn't want me to OC at parks and places with kids around???? I told her, on the way to my daughter's soccer game Saturday, that I wished I had all my gear together so I could do my first OC at the game. She about blew a head gasket and dropped the bomb on me that she didn't want me to do it because "Tooele is a safe place and there are too many kids around". She also said this BS, "It's not like Salt Lake. If we were in Salt Lake, I would say go for it". !!!!!!

Can you believe this???? My own wife!!! Well... considering what she has already put me through this year, this probably comes as no surprise to some. I have been telling her all about my plans to OC for months, and not once has she voiced anything but support until yesterday. GRRRRRRR

I tried to steer her to this site, but she isn't interested. She is one of those complacent ones who thinks the world is all rosy and safe and nothing is going to happen, especially at a soccer game for young kids. What am I going to do about this? Doh! She is using gun control on me through the deligated powers of a controlling spouse. I'm screwed. I guess I'll be using the ole Supertuck, once I actually get it, for those soccer games and park activities. :( Oh well, Winter is right around the corner anyways. I guess I'll just grin and bare it till next spring. Maybe she'll change her mind by then if we're still together.

Kevin

Is there anyone else at the game that OC's? If so point it outto her.
 

yo101jimmy

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Feb 8, 2008
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262
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West Jordan, Utah, USA
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Thats a hard one because for me I carry when I have my kids all the time! I feel the need to make sure their lives are safe and with me around thats one thing me on a fair playing field is even better. I will forget to carry when I am just going out by myself or with friends. But I never forget it when I have my kids!

This is hard because how do you really approach it? very softly? Well not sure.
 

utbagpiper

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LovesHisXD45 wrote:
I'm screwed. I guess I'll be using the ole Supertuck, once I actually get it, for those soccer games and park activities. :( Oh well, Winter is right around the corner anyways. I guess I'll just grin and bare it till next spring. Maybe she'll change her mind by then if we're still together.

Kevin

I suppose your marriage and family are none of my business, but would you really consider ending what I presume is an otherwise good marriage/relationship over a disagreement over HOW (not even whether, but just HOW) you carry a gun in certain locations?!??!!? If so, may I humbly suggest you rethink your priorities?

I carry to protect myself, but mostly to protect my children and wife. Not much need to protect the wife if I upset her to the point that she won't live with me.

NO two, mature, thinking, independent adults are going to agree with each other 100% of the time. I don't even agree with myself 100% of the time.

So she wants you to be a bit discreet in the home town, at the kids' soccer game, with all their other parents around? BFD! You never ask her to do something just a little different than she might prefer?

Put this into perspective and remember that the key is to carry and otherwise be prepared, not HOW you carry.

So carry concealed in those locations she prefer you carry concealed. OC or casually conceal in other locations. And if this is the biggest disagreement you two have--politically/socially or otherwise--buy her a dozen roses, take her out to dinner, and count your lucky stars.

Legal disclaimer: I am not a licensed marriage counselor, nor do I even play one on TV. But I hate to see molehills made into mountains.
 

Utah_Patriot

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Jun 13, 2008
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Kearns, Utah, USA
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LoL I eased my wife into it now she does not notice I have my firearm even my son OC's Around the house Unloaded and slide back wants to be like daddy. Can tell you everything to do if he finds a gun thanks to Eddy Eagle. I say carry the firearm don't tell her and if it causes a problem then CC. Tell me when and where I will be their OC at the park
 

cato

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Oct 29, 2006
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California, USA
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Keep the peace in the house. Give in on this. Do a lot of honey dos. She'll come around in a few months.
 

LovesHisXD45

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Messages
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, Utah, USA
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utbagpiper wrote:
LovesHisXD45 wrote:
I'm screwed. I guess I'll be using the ole Supertuck, once I actually get it, for those soccer games and park activities. :( Oh well, Winter is right around the corner anyways. I guess I'll just grin and bare it till next spring. Maybe she'll change her mind by then if we're still together.

Kevin

I suppose your marriage and family are none of my business, but would you really consider ending what I presume is an otherwise good marriage/relationship over a disagreement over HOW (not even whether, but just HOW) you carry a gun in certain locations?!??!!? If so, may I humbly suggest you rethink your priorities?

I carry to protect myself, but mostly to protect my children and wife. Not much need to protect the wife if I upset her to the point that she won't live with me.

NO two, mature, thinking, independent adults are going to agree with each other 100% of the time. I don't even agree with myself 100% of the time.

So she wants you to be a bit discreet in the home town, at the kids' soccer game, with all their other parents around? BFD! You never ask her to do something just a little different than she might prefer?

Put this into perspective and remember that the key is to carry and otherwise be prepared, not HOW you carry.

So carry concealed in those locations she prefer you carry concealed. OC or casually conceal in other locations. And if this is the biggest disagreement you two have--politically/socially or otherwise--buy her a dozen roses, take her out to dinner, and count your lucky stars.

Legal disclaimer: I am not a licensed marriage counselor, nor do I even play one on TV. But I hate to see molehills made into mountains.

You took my comment out of context and misinterpreted what I wrote. I wouldn't let a disagreement about sidearm carry jack my marriage. The fact that she had an affair on me with somebody she met at a bar and then gave me the clap after she slept with him a few times... now that is the part that put this relationship on shaky grounds. I had written about this in another post, and the aside I put into this thread about "if we are still together", was in reference to that and those who already knew what the situation was.

Do you understand where I'm coming from now? She has had internet cyber sex affairs and treated me like crap on top of that for the last 10 years, and I still forgive her every time. If anybody deserves a benefit of the doubt inthis relationship, it is me. If anyone on this earth has moral proof that they have the mental stability and tolerance to carry a sidearm, it's me. If I were go to in to great detail of what I have been through and how I have handled it, your jaw would hit the floor and you would stare off in disbelief. If I were to press charges against my wife for that and for the other crimes, like contributing to the delinquency of a minor and providing alchohol and cirarrettes to a minor (all Class B Misdomeanors), she could serve up to a year and a half in prison and pay hefty fines on top of that. Don't get me started.

Kevin
 

ainokea

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Jul 30, 2008
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173
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Heber, Utah, USA
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gunsfreak4791 wrote:
LoL I eased my wife into it now she does not notice I have my firearm even my son OC's Around the house Unloaded and slide back wants to be like daddy. Can tell you everything to do if he finds a gun thanks to Eddy Eagle. I say carry the firearm don't tell her and if it causes a problem then CC. Tell me when and where I will be their OC at the park
How old is your son?
 

LovesHisXD45

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, Utah, USA
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thoughtpolice wrote:
I have to agree with some of the others here, OC if you can when you want, but if it is causing marital strife in this ONE place, just CC. You are just as able(and willing I assume) to protect your family no matter how you carry. I believe its not so much HOW you carry, but THAT you carry which is most important. Good luck.

"I guess I'll be using the ole Supertuck, once I actually get it, for those soccer games and park activities."

That's a quote from my original post. I also still have my old beat up Uncle Mike's IWB too, which is what I still use, but it's very painful and uncomfortable now.

Kevin
 

LovesHisXD45

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, Utah, USA
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Let me clarify for the record and to set this misconception straight.

This gun issue IS NOT CAUSING ANY, AND I REPEAT, ANY stress on the marriage in any way shape or form whatsoever for crying out loud. Why do you think I went to the stress of revealing more details about the affairs and other problems? THOSE are the reasons the marriage is in jeapordy, NOT THE GUN ISSUE.

This relationship would not last 10 minutes with this woman if something as samll as an OC disagreement could cause problems. Sheesh!

Kevin
 

scorpioajr

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Eagle Mountain, Utah, USA
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LovesHisXD45 wrote:
...this gun issue IS NOT CAUSING ANY, AND I REPEAT, ANY stress on the marriage in any way shape or form whatsoever for crying out loud...
lol- your a lucky man. There are plenty of stresses caused by guns in mine. but not OC issues...more like ,"No, you have enough guns, you don't need anymore!" argument. Lol.
 

LovesHisXD45

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, Utah, USA
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ProtectedBy9mm wrote:
LovesHisXD45 wrote:
...this gun issue IS NOT CAUSING ANY, AND I REPEAT, ANY stress on the marriage in any way shape or form whatsoever for crying out loud...
lol- your a lucky man. There are plenty of stresses caused by guns in mine. but not OC issues...more like ,"No, you have enough guns, you don't need anymore!" argument. Lol.

ROfL! :) You crack me up 9mm :)

Kevin
 

LovesHisXD45

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, Utah, USA
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JoeSparky wrote:
We could as a group "drop in" to the old "toole" and do an open carry in support of you...

When? Where?



Joe Sparky

Thanks for the offer, but I think I'm going to relent on this one. I'll just let her have it her way for awhile. If the super tuck is as comfortable a holster as everyone who has one has stated, I'll just use that when I'm with her and the kids and just OC when I'm by myself or "in Salt Lake", so she doesn't give me any grief.
 

Bflamante

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Welcome to my life. Married 9 years this month to a girl raised in San Francisco. Her mom was raised in Oakland (Berkley area) during the 60's. Tells you everything you need to know about their tolerance for guns. I OC on my own, and CC when they are around. She can stomach CC much better so that is what I do. I have never seen any point in trying to get her to see my point of view. Not gonna happen.
 

JoeSparky

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Bflamante wrote:
Welcome to my life. Married 9 years this month to a girl raised in San Francisco. Her mom was raised in Oakland (Berkley area) during the 60's. Tells you everything you need to know about their tolerance for guns. I OC on my own, and CC when they are around. She can stomach CC much better so that is what I do. I have never seen any point in trying to get her to see my point of view. Not gonna happen.
Yep, sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. The trick is to NOT BE DISAGREEABLE at the same time...

JoeSparky
 

utbagpiper

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LovesHisXD45 wrote:

You took my comment out of context and misinterpreted what I wrote. I wouldn't let a disagreement about sidearm carry jack my marriage. The fact that she had an affair on me with somebody she met at a bar and then gave me the clap after she slept with him a few times... now that is the part that put this relationship on shaky grounds. I had written about this in another post, and the aside I put into this thread about "if we are still together", was in reference to that and those who already knew what the situation was.


Kevin

With all due respect, you made your comment out of context for those of us who don't know your situation and lacking such knowledge of your marriage it was perfectly reasonable for me (and several others it seems) to read your post as indicating that it was OC, and just OC putting the strain on the marriage.

That said, you have my deepest regrets over your troubles and my best wishes for a happy resolution.

All the best.
 

UTOC-45-44

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Morgan, Utah, USA
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ProtectedBy9mm wrote:
LovesHisXD45 wrote:
...this gun issue IS NOT CAUSING ANY, AND I REPEAT, ANY stress on the marriage in any way shape or form whatsoever for crying out loud...
lol- your a lucky man. There are plenty of stresses caused by guns in mine. but not OC issues...more like ,"No, you have enough guns, you don't need anymore!" argument. Lol.


I am putting up my Henry 44 mag Rifle for sell along with my Ruger Vaquero 44 mag.

I am also selling my Benelli Nova shotgun.

All these firearms I am selling too show my wife that I feel that SHE is MORE important than my guns.

She knows that am keeping 2 firearms. My kimber and S&W 4006.

If anyone is interested, PM me and spread the word.

I need to get rid of the ASAP



BTW, my wife also prefers me to CC vs OC. I will CC probably 75% of the time because I want HER to FEEL important and than NO OBJECTS are more important than her and also that I need to respect her to make her feel more comfortable and respected.

I can always OC when I am on my own at times. I did tell her that there will be an odd occasion or two when I will be OCing.

Just my .40



TJ
 
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