imported post
I bought my first handgun after I was married. Wife didn't like me carrying at all. Didn't even want it in the house. Tried to work with her gently. Even took her to the range so she could see what it was all about.
I even pointed out that I had survived a variety of potentially deadly criminal acts including:
1. Armed robbery attempt (Baltimore City, MD, 1970's) . I talked the guy out of it.
2. Handgun assault (Columbia, MD, 1970's). Disgruntled employee pointed gun at me from a car in parking lot. Didn't fire, just wanted to scare me. Police not very interested, despite his drug possession record. He got fired.
3. Two "hot" home invasion burglaries while a college student (Baltimore City, 1970's). One got away with all the goodies. The second guy, a couple of years later, wouldn't leave until I told him I had a shotgun. He decided to leave.
4. Two "cold" burglaries. In the first one, (Pikesville, MD, late 1970's) long before marriage, police shot and wounded one of two suspects in a gun battle on my doorstep while I was at work. In the other, (McLean, VA, 1982 or 3) a cheap burglar alarm this very wife had won in a contest scared the bad guy away while we were on vacation.
5. Nasty encounter with a homeless guy at a fast food place (Fairfax City, VA, late 1990's). After he vandalized the place by smashing a large pane of door glass, I found myself between him and the bathroom. He must have had to go. He growled at me, didn't like the way I was looking at him (I prefer to think of it as my cold steady stare.) Had he taken another step, I would have drawn the SIG P239. Instead, he walked across the street to another bathroom. 911 fire dispatcher answered in seconds, but police took 45 minutes to answer their phone. Guy was long gone.
6. Two car jacking attempts. In the first, in gun-unfriendly Baltimore, MD (late 1990's), I had no choice but to run down the two thugs trying to take my car. They jumped out of the way. Since they hadn't hurt me, and I hadn't hurt them, Baltimore police declined to respond. In the second attempt near Yorktown, VA, (2004) the leader of 4 thugs saw my handgun in its holster and broke off the attack.
7. While on the way to Tae-Kwon-Do class (Fairfax, City, VA, 1991 or 2), my then 6 and 8 year old kids ran ahead of me. A gang of teenagers cornered them and were taunting them as I came around the corner of a building. The sight of an adult, all dressed up in the martial arts uniform, including brown belt and carrying a practice weapon (basically a long stick) was more than they could handle. The gang scattered.
These incidents, some of which occurred while we were married, really didn't get through to her for some reason.
Somewhere during the course of the marriage, I must have grown a pair, something I highly recommend. I finally said to her, as gently as I could, but quite clearly, that I felt a duty and responsibility to protect her, myself, and our two children. Whether she liked it or not, I was going to carry out that responsibility and she needed to grow accustomed to that fact. I should have added "and STFU", but I was too polite to do so.
I think she disliked the fact that I grew a pair more than she disliked the gun. In any case there were lots of other issues. Alas, we're divorced, but I've since married a wonderful woman who has a clue and is grateful I carry the gun to protect us.
