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My open carry experiences

Drinking Beer

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Apr 6, 2009
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Well I live in a state in which open carry is perfectly legal. I own my own computer business with very expensive motherboards and monitors that are worth millions of dollars. So it is an absolute must that I open carry because of all the expensive merchandise I have in stock. We have had robbers attempt to break into the store when I'm not there. I could tell because the locks on the doors look liked some professionals tried to pick them. I is not uncommon for me to wear my marshal arts clothes because it deters from anyone coming into the store and trying to rob us. I am 6' 6" 250lbs and highly trained in karate. I don't doubt that I could disarm any burglars but I would rather not hurt them and just hold them at gun point until the police could arrest them before I really loose my temper.

Well anyhow, I was riding my bike to my office because my Harley fat boy is in the motorcycle shop getting a new custom flames paint job. I had my Desert Eagle 50 cal in a holster on my hip like usual. I was only a block away from my office when a cop slammed on his brakes and started freaking out, jumping out of his car with a huge shotgun. I just stopped my bike and screamed, "What probable cause do you have to point that little pee shooter at me!" He was truly scared and his hands started shaking, and said "Shut up! Dont move!" and he called for back up. It like 5 seconds the cops had me surrounded. They told me to get on the ground and to show me my ID. I said unless you want a lawsuit you better let me talk to the chief. The chief showed up with lights and sirens, and jumped out of the car with his gun drawn. I said, "Is that all you got!" and then the chief started getting scared and shaking like a little kid screaming for my ID. I walked up to him with my hands up and told him he and all his stupid cops made a huge mistake and they are all going to get a lawsuit. I told him I am very rich and can afford a good lawyer. Then the chief got mad as hell and his face got red and tried to reach for my gun. I just grabbed his hand with my reflexes and said, "Not today!" He could tell that I meant business, and I was not going to allow them to violate my rights! I then started talking about how open carry is good and he and his dumb piglets should be out getting the real criminals. You could tell that all the cops new I was right, because they looked embarrassed after I schooled him about open carry. There was one cop that was a a woman, you could tell she was so embarrassed. She looked cute, I could tell she wanted me but her bitchy cop attitude front was getting old.

I asked for all of their ID's and told them that they were going to get a call from my lawyer. I will update you guys about my lawsuit after I fly to New York to speak to my lawyer about what kind of settlement we can get from the city because of the police violating my 2nd amendment rights. Thanks for the support! I will update on how this goes, I support 2nd amendment rights and will help out with our cause! I love guns, I own so many I can't even post them all. Later fellows,

-Josh
 

kaiheitai17

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Feb 18, 2007
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WTF?? :? Sounds like a sea story/fairy taleto me. Have you thought about becoming an author of fiction? W.E.B. Griffin and Tom Clancy may have to worry about competition.
 

AWDstylez

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Jul 3, 2008
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kaiheitai17 wrote:
WTF?? :? Sounds like a sea story/fairy taleto me. Have you thought about becoming an author of fiction? W.E.B. Griffin and Tom Clancy may have to worry about competition.

It's a parody of the more retarded members of this board.

I got a good laugh. Thanks OP. :lol:
 

Legba

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Yeah, a 'professional' isn't going to leave any trace with regard to picking locks. And how the hell could you carry a Desert Eagle on your hip even if you wanted to? A little less over-the-top might make a better story.

-ljp
 

Statesman

Regular Member
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Jul 20, 2008
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Location
Lexington, Kentucky, USA
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This is either a joke, or a disinformation campaign designed to get new OCers in trouble.

Since when does anyone "grab" the Sheriff's arm/hand, and not get arrested for assaulting a LEO?
 

skidmark

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Jan 15, 2007
Messages
10,444
Location
Valhalla
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"There I was ..." or "No kidding, this really happened ..."

That's how you tell a true story from a fairy tale.

This one should have begun "Once upon a time, in a very special place where I live with fluffy bunnies ...."

What's the next rank up from keyboard ninja?

stay safe.

skidmark
 

AWDstylez

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Jul 3, 2008
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KarateMaster96 wrote:
:celebratehaha, I'm glad you enjoyed! I was hoping to get some good laughs
If you were going for laughs at the 99% of the people on this board having zero sense of humor and "calling you out" on telling a "fake"storythat was clearly supposed to be a joke... you got it. :lol:
 

beebobby

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Sep 22, 2008
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It would have been more believable if you had mentioned your Playboy model girlfriend who ownes a liquor store.
 

Il_Duce

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May 3, 2009
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Legba wrote:
Yeah, a 'professional' isn't going to leave any trace with regard to picking locks. And how the hell could you carry a Desert Eagle on your hip even if you wanted to? A little less over-the-top might make a better story.

-ljp
They're not that big...
 

WheelGun

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 9, 2008
Messages
276
Location
Delaware County, New York, USA
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Hold on, wait a minute.... Don't you guys remember the softcore magazines we all 'hid' under our beds as teenage boys..... With the 100% true stories sent in by readers of the magazine?

"I was minding my own business when this incredibly hot chick I'll call Candy walked up to me...."

Seems he and 'Candy' got married and opened up a profitable business together. She probably bought him the huge powerful Desert Eagle because it reminded her of.....
 

sraacke

Regular Member
Joined
Jul 20, 2008
Messages
1,214
Location
Saint Gabriel, Louisiana, USA
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WheelGun wrote:
Hold on, wait a minute.... Don't you guys remember the softcore magazines we all 'hid' under our beds as teenage boys..... With the 100% true stories sent in by readers of the magazine?

"I was minding my own business when this incredibly hot chick I'll call Candy walked up to me...."

Seems he and 'Candy' got married and opened up a profitable business 'together. She probably bought him the huge powerful Desert Eagle because it reminded her of.....
"Dear Penthouse Forums, I never thought something like this would happen to me."

The Penthouseletters were good but I also enjoyed the old Beeline paperback novels. Titles like "The cheerleader next door" and "Hot times with teacher". Wow those were some trashy books. good memories.
 
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