imported post
I am studying up for my Technician's license now and one of the points it makes is to always use minimal power to complete a transmission.
My conscience would only ever permit me to use force in this way as well. Whatever the law says, my own conscience is not going to forgive me for taking a life when "stopping an attack" would do. This means shooting at center mass and hoping fate intervenes so my assailant does not die. If he dies, though, he dies. God forbid, because I will not bear the weight of this act, however justified, well, and I know that now.
Now of course, this is complicated by the stress of the situation and the question is whether you can stand there and reason how many shots are enough to stop an attack vs. kill. I can only hope when the time comes that I will be able to function on that guideline. I meditate on this/think about it all the time when I am carrying my gun as a kind of "mental preparation." It is not a casual assumption. I run the scenario through my head repeatedly (there's not much else you can do).
One thing they cover in the CCW class is, "Don't carry a gun unless you're sure you can take a life." And I've taken that blasted class twice now, in full. In every circumstance I look around and assume there might be military or law enforcement vets who know precisely whether that is true for them or not, but I have to question how many people can ever be sure of such a thing. We *are* law abiding citizens - by definition of getting a permit, we are peacable people, or any criminal record would cause the permit to be denied. So I have to assume that the vast majority of people getting that permit have never taken a life and really have no idea how they would react in that abnormal circumstance.
Could I shoot and kill someone? For myself I have reframed the question as an affirmation: In the event my life is in danger, I will shoot at center mass. I will do all of my soul-searching and philosophizing now, not when my life or someone else's life is threatened: I believe to not act and be a victim, or even worse, to let someone else be a victim, is the worse moral crime, and will be even harder to live with (If *I* live at all.)
So it's not a question. It is an intention: to use my firearm to stop an attack on an innocent person. I meditate upon this daily. Every day. Because I have chosen to carry a gun. Because in so doing, I have no choice but to take responsibility and use it if the occasion (god forbid) arose. To not meditate on this would be irresponsible. At minimum, every time I pick that gun up with the intent of toting it somewhere concealed or open, I make this affirmation.
This is important for a guy like me because I grew up in a safe suburban environment. I live in a safe suburban environment now. I have never been a victim of a violent crime. I have never been in the military, nor law enforcement. As a civilian, there are a lot of question marks. Taking a life would be the single most unnatural thing I can think of doing, in self-defense or otherwise. I am a non-violent person. I like having friends rather than enemies. I like a quiet evening at home with a book.
But I have chosen to carry a gun for a variety of philosophical reasons. It is a grave responsibility. Shooting at the range is just fun. Carrying a gun in a holster, around town, is a far more sobering proposition. My entire mindset is different. I can't even enjoy my day in the same way.
I can see myself, having shot an assailant, shaking, standing 5 or so feet away from him, gun still trained on him, until the police show up. I'm not sure I'd lower my gun once he was down. That's my plan, anyway. I am trying to make that automatic; my affirmation or mental training is this:
* Shoot until assailant drops, aiming at center mass. Do not consider life/death issues re: where I shoot.
* When assailant drops, stop shooting. Put finger up against slide ("finger off trigger unless ready to shoot")
* Keep gun pointed at assailant and watch every move.
* Ask for bystander, if one exists, to secure/kick away any weapon the assailant might have had and dial 911.
Until that guy is in cuffs or on a stretcher, I think I'd have a problem lowering my pistol.
Could I freeze up if it came time to shoot? Possibly. Ever gone off a high diving board? You say, "Oh sure, I'll dive off that thing." And then you climb it and you look down and every molecule in your body says, "You idiot, do you know how high you are? Don't jump."
At some point something within you pushes you off that board. The problem with this analogy is that you can practice until you are desensitized. You cannot do this with shooting at a human being.
The only thing I can do is imagine it (it generally takes place in a Circle K in my mind, for some reason), follow the mental image through, and make those affirmations. And do it regularly.
I am curious how most people come to the conclusion that they could take a life, for certain. I can't answer that. I can simply say, "My full intention is to take a life, if necessary, but at minimum to squeeze the trigger repeatedly until the attack ends, and no more."