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Thread: A few laughs for everyone....

  1. #1
    Regular Member
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    Mar 2009
    Crowley, Louisiana, USA

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    Clint Smith, Director of Thunder Ranch, is part drill
    Instructor, and part stand up comic. Here are a few of his observations on tactics, firearms, self defense and life as we know it in the
    civilized world.

    "The handgun would not be my choice of
    weapon if I knew I was going to a fight....I'd choose a rifle, a shotgun, an
    RPG or an atomic bomb instead."

    "The two most important rules in a gunfight are: always cheat
    and always win."

    "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

    "Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. I may get killed
    with my own gun, but he's gonna have to beat me to death with it, 'cause it's going to be empty."

    "If you're not shootin', you should be loadin'. If you're not loadin, you should be movin', if you're not movin', someone's gonna cut your head off and put it on a stick."

    "When you reload in low light encounters, don't put your
    flashlight in your back pocket. If you light yourself up, you'll look like
    an angel or the tooth fairy...and you're gonna be one of 'em pretty soon."

    "Do something. It may be wrong, but do something."

    "Shoot what's available, as long as it's available, until something else becomes

    "If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. That's ridiculous. If I have a gun, what in the hell do
    I have to be paranoid for?"

    "Don't shoot fast, shoot good."

    "You can say 'stop' or 'alto' or use any other word you think will work but I've found that a large bore muzzle

    "pointed at someone's head is pretty much the universal language."

    "You have the rest of your life to solve your problems.
    How long you live depends on how well you do it."

    "You cannot save the planet. You may be able to save yourself and your family."

    The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in
    defense. The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more
    important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is

    1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

    2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

    3. I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy.

    4. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.

    5. A reporter did a human-interest piece
    on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the
    Ranger was carrying and asked him 'Why do you carry a 45?' The Ranger responded,
    'Because they don't make a 46.'

    6. An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity.

    7. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a
    lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see you have your pistol.
    Are you expecting trouble?' 'No ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle.'

    8. Beware the man who only has one gun. He probably knows how to use it!

    If you believe in the 2nd Amendment, please forward. 'The true
    soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he
    loves what is behind him.' -G. K. Chesterton

    A people that values its privileges above its principles will soon lose both.

    'Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not.'
    Thomas Jefferson

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    , ,

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    Cool post.

  3. #3
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Lake Charles Area, Louisiana, USA

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    Here's some I found that I love.

    #21 BELOWhas to be my favorite.

    "21. Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet."

    USMC Basic Laws of Combat

    1. You are not superman.

    2. Suppressive fires -- won't.

    3. If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.

    4. Don't look conspicuous -- it draws fire.

    5. When in doubt, empty the magazine.

    6. Never share a fighting hole with anyone braver than you are.

    7. Never forget your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

    8. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

    9. No plan survives the first contact intact.

    10. All five second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.

    11. Try to look unimportant, because the bad guys may be low on ammo.

    12. If you are forward of your position, the artillery will fall short.

    13. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.

    14. The important things are always simple.

    15. The simple things are always hard.

    16. The easy way is always mined.

    17. If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.

    18. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

    19. Incoming fire has the right-of-way.

    20. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

    21. If the enemy is in range, so are you.

    22. Beer math: 37 men times 2 beers each equals 49 cases.

    23. Body count math: 3 bad guys plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs = 37 enemy killed in action.

    24. Friendly fire - isn't.

    25. Things that must be together to work usually can't be shipped together.

    26. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.

    27. Anything you do can get you shot -- including doing nothing.

    28. If you make it too tough for the enemy to get in you can't get out.

    29. Tracers work BOTH ways.

    30. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

    31. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share to take.

    32. When both sides are convinced they are about to lose, they're both right.

    33. Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.

    34. Any significant military action will occur at the junction of two or more map sheets.

    35. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

    36. Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.

    37. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

    Six Phases of a Military Operation

    1. Enthusiasm.

    2. Disillusionment.

    3. Panic.

    4. Search for the guilty.

    5. Punishment of the innocent.

    6. Praise and honor for the non participant.

    USMC and USN Rules of Engagement


    1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns.

    2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.

    3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.

    4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough nor using cover correctly.

    5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. [Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.]

    6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and a friend with a long gun.

    7. Ten years from now, no one will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

    8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.

    9. Accuracy is relative. [Most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.]

    10. Use a weapon that works every time. [All skill is in vain when an angel pisses in the flintlock of your musket.]

    11. Someday someone may kill you with your own weapon, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

    12. Always cheat; always win. If you walk away, it was a fair fight. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

    13. Always have a plan.
    13.1 Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.

    14. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. The visible target should be in FRONT of your gun.

    15. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

    16. Don't drop your guard.

    17. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.

    18. Watch their hands. Hands kill. [In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them].

    19. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.

    20. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.

    21. Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

    22. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

    23. Your best option for personal security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.


    1. Adopt an aggressive offshore posture.

    2. Drink coffee.

    3. Send in the Marines.

    (Tnx to Ed Poplin & Jarrad Langley)

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