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trying to convince wife...

W

wjxavier

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 14, 2009
Messages
41
Location
Quantico, Virginia, USA
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hello to all, this is my first post here after been a regular reader to the site for some time now. since i moved to VA, i have opened carried on a regular basis, MUCH to my wife's dismay and "annoyingness." i have my CWP but i choose to open carry for many reasons both political and personal. however, my wife ABSOLUTELY HATES when i carry openly. i'm just wondering if anyone has any suggestions i can give or show my wife to try and convince her that i am not a "scary man with a gun" and that it is in fact a perfectly normal thing to do. i want her to see what i'm seeing, but i can't think of any ways to do it. any help is appreciated. thanks!



Semper Fi,

Walter
 
R

RebelHell

Regular Member
Joined
Apr 18, 2009
Messages
103
Location
West Milton, Ohio, USA
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Smack her upside the head and drag her by her hair back into the kitchen.:p

Okay don't do that, now I am gonna get smacked. Just try showing her this forum. A good bet would be to take her to any open carry events, be they picnics or protests or whatever. Maybe seeing other people openly carrying and all the unarmed people around them whom it obviously doesn't bother will at least help her be more comfortable with the idea.
 
C

chewy352

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Joined
Sep 11, 2009
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769
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Harrah, Oklahoma
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RebelHell wrote:
Smack her upside the head and drag her by her hair back into the kitchen.:p

Okay don't do that, now I am gonna get smacked. Just try showing her this forum. A good bet would be to take her to any open carry events, be they picnics or protests or whatever. Maybe seeing other people openly carrying and all the unarmed people around them whom it obviously doesn't bother will at least help her be more comfortable with the idea.
Click to expand...
Owww I just told my fiance that first line and got smacked. lol
 
HankT

HankT

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wjxavier wrote:
hello to all, this is my first post here after been a regular reader to the site for some time now. since i moved to VA, i have opened carried on a regular basis, MUCH to my wife's dismay and "annoyingness." i have my CWP but i choose to open carry for many reasons both political and personal. however, my wife ABSOLUTELY HATES when i carry openly. i'm just wondering if anyone has any suggestions i can give or show my wife to try and convince her...that it is in fact a perfectly normal thing to do. i want her to see what i'm seeing, but i can't think of any ways to do it. any help is appreciated. thanks!
Click to expand...

Well, one thing is for sure. In most contexts in this country (and even in Virginia), it is decidedly not normal behavior to OC. So, it's probably going to be extremely hard to convince someone that it is.

The more relevant point is that OC is an acceptable and legal behavior.

And prudent, too, for many reasons.

With regard to normality, I think you might make the case that OC will eventually be "normal" and that it is now in the early stages of diffusion. That's a debatable proposition but it is much much better than saying it already is "normal."
 
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rmansu2

Regular Member
Joined
Mar 12, 2009
Messages
325
Location
Baton Rouge, Louisiana, USA
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I've had the same problem. My wife is slowly coming around to it too. I OC when I'm not with her and CC when I am. Recently she's begun to walk when she gets home from work and wants me to go. The problem is because of school, we never know what time that will be. Most often it's at night. I definately carry then. The problem with CC and excersise is it's near impossible to do. At first she didn't like me having it, but when we had a scare one night, dog in the woods coming towards us, she decided then and there she had no problems with me carrying when we walk.

Still haven't gotten her use to me carrying anywhere else, but when I come in the door, holstered firearm, and do house work or anything else that needs to be done she kind of has to deal with it. She knows I carry in public and I have yet to be arrested so my thought is that "if I don't get arrested when I'm alone, why would I be arrested when I'm with my wife?"

More or less it just take time and reassurance that it's not illegal, embarrasing, or a problem.
 
Riana

Riana

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Dec 23, 2008
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Fairfax County, VA
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Task Force 16 wrote:

wjxavier,

You might want to invest in protective head gear.
Click to expand...
+1, if you listen to these guys. :lol:

rmansu2 wrote:
I've had the same problem. My wife is slowly coming around to it too. I OC when I'm not with her and CC when I am. Recently she's begun to walk when she gets home from work and wants me to go. The problem is because of school, we never know what time that will be. Most often it's at night. I definately carry then. The problem with CC and excersise is it's near impossible to do. At first she didn't like me having it, but when we had a scare one night, dog in the woods coming towards us, she decided then and there she had no problems with me carrying when we walk.

Still haven't gotten her use to me carrying anywhere else, but when I come in the door, holstered firearm, and do house work or anything else that needs to be done she kind of has to deal with it. She knows I carry in public and I have yet to be arrested so my thought is that "if I don't get arrested when I'm alone, why would I be arrested when I'm with my wife?"

More or less it just take time and reassurance that it's not illegal, embarrasing, or a problem.
Click to expand...
My husband was a bit leary when I got my CHP and started carrying more regularly (we live near a school - CHP was a must). I go walking several times a week - always carrying. I do shopping and errands - always carrying. And if I arm in the morning, I don't disarm unless required to go to the school, having a glass of wine/beer/whatever, or going to bed. If we go out, I OC, and he usually doesn't notice. I've asked him if he minded me carrying, and he's finally decided it's OK.

It just takes time.
 
H

Harper1227

Regular Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
387
Location
Lorton, VA
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Task Force 16 wrote:
Just keep OC'ing. She's bound to get over it eventually.

Yu might try giving her a choice. Either you OC, or take a mistress. :uhoh:
Click to expand...

No offense TF16, but that is a horrible idea. not even talking about the mistress comment which i am sure is a joke, right? please say yes :uhoh:. Butjust the general she'll get over it- not a good plan.

as a wife that acted the same way as the OP's wife. the best thing to do is show her the forum, go to OC events and even better show her the self defense blogs. like clayton cramer, etc.

Once i started reading those and realized gun owners aren't the 'crazies' i thought they (now we) are, it became an important issue for me too.

if you want, you can come out with me and hubby and let her experience OC for herself. or talk to other women about it.

WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT TRY TO FORCE IT ON HER!

if she doesnt change her mind, let it go. explain to her that it is your responsibility as a husband, father, minister, god-fearing American (whatever works for you) to protect yourself and those you love. and that while you understand it bothers her, she has to respect that it would bother YOU even more not to carry.

in time she will get it, or she wont.
 
H

Harper1227

Regular Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
387
Location
Lorton, VA
imported post

HankT wrote:
wjxavier wrote:
hello to all, this is my first post here after been a regular reader to the site for some time now. since i moved to VA, i have opened carried on a regular basis, MUCH to my wife's dismay and "annoyingness." i have my CWP but i choose to open carry for many reasons both political and personal. however, my wife ABSOLUTELY HATES when i carry openly. i'm just wondering if anyone has any suggestions i can give or show my wife to try and convince her...that it is in fact a perfectly normal thing to do. i want her to see what i'm seeing, but i can't think of any ways to do it. any help is appreciated. thanks!
Click to expand...

Well, one thing is for sure. In most contexts in this country (and even in Virginia), it is decidedly not normal behavior to OC. So, it's probably going to be extremely hard to convince someone that it is.

The more relevant point is that OC is an acceptable and legal behavior.

And prudent, too, for many reasons.

With regard to normality, I think you might make the case that OC will eventually be "normal" and that it is now in the early stages of diffusion. That's a debatable proposition but it is much much better than saying it already is "normal."
Click to expand...
Dont worry about what is normal. think about what is right and legal. As long as you are safe, aware,and responsible then that is all you need to worry about.
 
J

jadedone4

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Joined
Jul 8, 2009
Messages
127
Location
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Agree with Harper1227 you have to let a person, particularly a spouse come to OC'g on their own terms; may never happen, may happen in 30-days, but it has to be of their own doing.

Quick question - is the SO trained in firearms...? You didn't mention if she is active in shooting with you (range, shows, events, etc). If she is not active, you may want to start her off there... once she gets the "bug" she'll come around faster, or at least understand your position better.
 
W

wjxavier

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 14, 2009
Messages
41
Location
Quantico, Virginia, USA
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i honestly can never see my wife shooting much of anything other than a BB gun. i've tried to get her to go to the range with me before, but she never wants to and i really don't want to push that on her. i just want her to understand that it's ok for me to OC in public.
regardless, harper, i might just take you up on that offer some day. i'm actually thinking about going to a fredericksburg dinner soon and hopefully the wife will be able to come with me on that one. hopefully...if not, then we can all plan one for farther up north. hows that sound to everyone?
 
T

Task Force 16

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Joined
Jul 20, 2008
Messages
2,615
Location
Lobelville, Tennessee, USA
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Harper1227 wrote:
Task Force 16 wrote:
Just keep OC'ing. She's bound to get over it eventually.

Yu might try giving her a choice. Either you OC, or take a mistress. :uhoh:
Click to expand...

No offense TF16, but that is a horrible idea. not even talking about the mistress comment which i am sure is a joke, right? please say yes :uhoh:. Butjust the general she'll get over it- not a good plan.
Click to expand...
Yeah, Harper, it was meant as a joke. I'm sure such an ultimatum would result in an iron skillet up side the head....repeatedly. :what:
 
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