imported post
architect wrote:
KY Soldier wrote:
Well like you said the Hi-Point is heavier so it would be able tosoak up a bit more of the recoil...but 78lbs is considerably smaller than my girlfriend so would it even out?? Would a lighter round provide a noticeablysofter shot??
yes/no/yes/no/maybe -- individual sensitivity to recoil only correlates generally to height and weight.
There is no substitute for taking her to a range and renting a bunch of different calibers to learn which she can handle best. For example, my 100 lb. niece can shoot the center out of a target with the same .357 revolver that gives her 145 lb. mother the fits.
Most instructors I've talked to feel one should learn trigger management and sight acquisition on a .22 before you even start considering recoil, "stopping power," etc. Think of it as an excuse to buy a target pistol!
The part in
bold is the very best advice anyone could give.
People worry too much about the mythical "stopping power" of caliber and not enough about
recoil control to allow on target hits. Common sense dictates that hits with a small caliber are more effective than misses with a big caliber...
Please go here:
http://www.spw-duf.info/handgun.html
and note that caliber choice is #5 on the list of criteria for choosing a carry pistol. Caliber, although a factor, is NOT the most important consideration in a carry gun. And "knock down power" is a (in my not so humble opinion) BS concept that ignores the first consideration that only hits count... hence... rounds, no matter how big they are, that do not hit have absolutely no knock down power at all. And inability to control recoil effectively contributes to misses... not hits.
Ok... "stopping power" rant /off:lol:
But to your question... the best caliber that you and your lady could share is the one the most recoil sensitive of the two of you shoots the best. If you can handle a .40 or .45 but your lady can only handle a .380... or vice versa... then, since you are both sharing the gun, the .380 is best because it insures both of you will get hits... and only hits count.
All too often I've seen guys make up their minds they want a .40 or .45 (or whatever) for themselves and simply expect their lady to deal with it. Or they buy a gun in a caliber they think is best and hand it to their lady and expect her to deal with it. Both approaches neglect to understand that the best gun/caliber for her most often is NOT what the guy thinks it is... and almost certainly definitely NOT what the guys at the range/gun shop/internet say it is.
Please do take your lady to a range and rent a whole bunch of different guns in different calibers (yeah, that will cost money but it is money well spent) to discover which gun/caliber combination actually will work for
both of you.
If a happy medium can't be found then buy the gun/caliber that works for you... and buy the gun/caliber that works for her. That way you each end up with your own gun/caliber that is best.
As an aside.... what I find devastatingly funny is when a guy's lady can shoot a much larger caliber better than he can. When this happens the look on the guy's faces is................. priceless!!! :what:
Edited to add... although the above is good stuff to think about.. after rereading the OP... I believe I've misunderstood the OP's question. I was thinking he and his lady would be using the same gun for defense... but I see the gun would be his and his lady would only be using it only for target shooting? If that is so.... buying a .22 for her (and yourself in addition to the M&P40) would give endless hours of cheap range fun to you both.
Sorry if I misunderstood.
As for the .45, I dunno, best way to find out would be to rent one and let her shoot a bunch of rounds out of it. I've never fired one, myself. 
