How do you deal with an anti wife?

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While a VA native (and resident) I do travel with my wife to NC with some frequency. She has family in Cary, Raleigh, Washington, Trenton and Kinston and we like to holiday on the OBX.

She isn't "for" or "against" guns. I think she's just more ambivalent. She's not uncomfortable with me carrying, she simply doesn't appreciate the sentiment or the concern.

When I send her links she shrugs them off as happenstance. And that's what self defense is about. You don't carry on the prospect that you'll have to defend yourself every single day. You carry for that ONE TIME that you may have to do so. Because like so many other things, if you have it, you're less likely to need it. If you don't have it... you're much more likely to need it.

She was privy to a couple of conversations, including one with a Dare County deputy regarding carry on Ocracoke. Went pretty well, even though she was just a fly on the wall.

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My fiance is nervous around guns as well. She has however warmed up to me carrying it the more i have. I still need to take her and shoot it. She says the reason she is nervous is because she has never ever fired one before.



Just keep trying

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Best of luck with the wife. If you can get her to an NRA home safety course you may make some headway.

.40S&W is not the Holy Grail, that would actually be .380ACP. LOL

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The Wolfhound wrote:

Best of luck with the wife. If you can get her to an NRA home safety course you may make some headway.

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I have been hoping to get mine to go to a women's firearms course or to get her around some other women (my cousins, mostly) who shoot and are comfortable with guns.

She doesn't want to touch them. Not because she's scared of them, but because she doesn't trust herself. She doesn't understand how they work and her lack of practical exposure has colored her judgment to the point where she doesn't think she should be handling them.

That's good and bad. It means she appreciates that guns are dangerous if you don't what you're doing (rule #1 - All guns are always loaded. rule #2 - Never point a gun at something you are not willing to destroy.) but it also shows a lack of confidence.

Confidence can be built up with positive, empowering experiences. My personal experience has told me that nothing empowers a woman like that first trigger squeeze, a controlled environment and a comfort zone that allows her to become familiar on her terms with something that she is very unfamiliar with.

You have to remember that women are very emotionally-driven creatures. They are not logical and rational (sorry, ladies) on the same level as most men. There are exceptions to the rule, but in all my travels throughout this great big world it has been proven more often than not.

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wylde007 wrote:

You have to remember that women are very emotionally-driven creatures. They are not logical and rational (sorry, ladies) on the same level as most men. There are exceptions to the rule, but in all my travels throughout this great big world it has been proven more often than not.

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Wow. Talk about naked male chauvinism...

"Proven" is a really BIG word....

Uhm, have you ever considered that your sample is, er, not representative?




wylde007 wrote:

When I send her links she shrugs them off as happenstance. And that's what self defense is about. You don't carry on the prospect that you'll have to defend yourself every single day. You carry for that ONE TIME that you may have to do so. Because like so many other things, if you have it, you're less likely to need it. If you don't have it... you're much more likely to need it.

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Y'know, we all have ways to motivate us...and to make sense of the world. So what we tell ourselves is important and true about the world that requires us to take charge of our self-defense is pretty much a personal worldview.

But it strkes me that your highlighted statement is unambiguously false. The estimated probability of need should be the same. Unless you can show cause and effect.

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Well I am taking mine to some mandatory range time right before the OC meet up in Jville.

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I find my wife to be quite logical. After all, 3 of our pistol purchases this past year were her choices. The NRA course really increased her "Comfort zone" although she had shot before. She enjoys the range and looks to see who she can take out to introduce to shooting. If you were in town, I would be tossing an invite.

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Well.....my last wife has been gone since 1987 and my dog and I make all the purchases now. I get him gravy train and then get me anything else 'cause he's happy.:celebrate

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Well I don't have a wife yet but I do have a girlfriend who doesn't understand my desire to carry. She keeps saying she wouldn't mind shooting but she hates my family :banghead: and won't come over to shoot (I'm 19 and don't have a pistol she can shoot yet), so I'm not sure how to fix that as of yet. Any ideas?

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Lawmaker wrote:

Mine is a left wing liberal. Who knows how that happened. She thinks that I am the only one that OCs in NC. She hates when I do it. I hope that the Jville Dinner will change her mind.

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Mine is a liberal artist...but I was a working LEO when she married me, so she knew guns were part of the package.

Over the years (30+) she has come around to a "I wish they weren't needed" kind of attitude...though she still shakes her head and sighs when I buy a new one (which is frequently). It's probably easier for her though, since I have almost always carried concealed (though frequently poorly concealed).

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PaxMentis wrote:

Over the years (30+) she has come around to a "I wish they weren't needed" kind of attitude...

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We all WISH they weren't needed but, since we're only responsible for our own actions and not the criminal intentions of others, we must prepare accordingly.

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Hi all, I stumbled across this forum while googling, and I can't help but offer my support. I agree that you should have a gun for that one time you may need it. I don't own a gun, but I wear a crash helmet everywhere I go, because you never know when that crack in the concrete, or falling anvil may strike, & I am NOT going to be the one unprepared!

My wife is very supportive too, as she never takes off her one-piece, flame retardant Nomex suit. She's seen way too many news stories of people burning up in home fires, car crash fires, and office fires, and decided long ago she wasn't going to end up another statistic.

We're both working towards convincing eachother of our irrational paranoia, so that we'll both eventually match in clothing, but as stated by others, its a work in progress.

Cheers!:celebrate

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wylde007 wrote:

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Why bother?

Apparently (at least, acording to his post) he only protects that part of his body that he cannot use anyway. He won't be around long.

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I bet you are the guy that doesnt want law abiding citizens to carry firearms...because you want to crawl through someone elses window at night with no worry, or you want to mug and rob innocent people without fear or resistance



Uncommon wrote:

Hi all, I stumbled across this forum while googling, and I can't help but offer my support. I agree that you should have a gun for that one time you may need it. I don't own a gun, but I wear a crash helmet everywhere I go, because you never know when that crack in the concrete, or falling anvil may strike, & I am NOT going to be the one unprepared!

My wife is very supportive too, as she never takes off her one-piece, flame retardant Nomex suit. She's seen way too many news stories of people burning up in home fires, car crash fires, and office fires, and decided long ago she wasn't going to end up another statistic.

We're both working towards convincing eachother of our irrational paranoia, so that we'll both eventually match in clothing, but as stated by others, its a work in progress.

Cheers!:celebrate

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No sir, I am the smartass who doesn't live in fear of what man can do to me.

I am not the urine-stain with the lifelong inferiority complex who feels he needs to compensate his pre-adolescent small-dickfears buy wearing a gun into a Walmart & bragging online about it.

There is nothing wrong with firearms, pistol or rifle. Like all things, it is the misapplication of them that results in crime & tragedy.

You were a late-bloomer, weren't ya? High school gym class must've been a nightmare.

gipper72488 wrote:

I bet you are the guy that doesnt want law abiding citizens to carry firearms...because you want to crawl through someone elses window at night with no worry, or you want to mug and rob innocent people without fear or resistance

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Shenanigans...

I suggest a ban. Moderators?

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wylde007 wrote:

While a VA native (and resident) I do travel with my wife to NC with some frequency. She has family in Cary, Raleigh, Washington, Trenton and Kinston and we like to holiday on the OBX.

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I live in Washington, and we spend a fair amount of time in the summers on the OBX Next time you're coming through town, drop me a note, and we'll go grab dinner somewhere.

She was privy to a couple of conversations, including one with a Dare County deputy regarding carry on Ocracoke. Went pretty well, even though she was just a fly on the wall.

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So what did the deputy say? I know prior to Feb 22, 2010, most of the OBX were off-limits because it is "National Seashore", but now with the ban being lifted on NPS land, a lot of the OBX might be OK to carry on--unless of course, it's in "State Gamelands" areas...

So what did the Deputy tell you?

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Dreamer wrote:

I live in Washington, and we spend a fair amount of time in the summers on the OBX Next time you're coming through town, drop me a note, and we'll go grab dinner somewhere.

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I noticed that and the thought had occurred to me. However, we generally come down for the day for pre-"holiday" suppers with the family. The missus has cousins that have a house right on the water on Shady Banks Beach Road.

However, if the opportunity presents itself, we may make it a date. So what did the deputy say? I know prior to Feb 22, 2010, most of the OBX were off-limits because it is "National Seashore", but now with the ban being lifted on NPS land, a lot of the OBX might be OK to carry on--unless of course, it's in "State Gamelands" areas...

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In my haste I incorrectly referred to the Dare Co. offices. We were on Ocracoke which is, of course, Hyde County.

And he said that it was perfectly lawful and that as far as the Hyde Co. sheriffs department was concerned, not a problem at all open or concealed. Ocracoke Island is not in the CHNS, so far as I know.

It was a very casual conversation and the deputies on Ocracoke seem pretty laid back. The whole island is. That's why I like it there. If only it wasn't so far away!