Wives and UOC

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I would like to know about your decision to UOC and how that has affected your wife. Did you have to convince your wife, or was she supportive from the start? Does she still support your decision? Or does she no longersupport your decision? Or maybe she's neutral about it? If she needed convincing, give us a brief glimpse into how that went.

If you are a wife or girlfriend of a UOC'er it would be great to hear from you directly. Feel free touse your lesser half's account if you don't have your own.

As for me, my wife wasn't all that excited about it. She needed asome convincing and thought I was just trying to be macho or something. However, she knows that I do my research and I spent the better part of two to three months researching and studying the laws before my first UOC. For awhile she was convinced that I was going to be arrested, and I suppose still worries a little. I started carrying around the house and office first. She thought that was the dumbest thing ever and kept telling me to take it off. I was trying to get used to all that weight hanging off my belt as well as get the kids used to it...I didn't want to surprise them in public and have them make abig deal about it.In both the office and home I UOC as well as LOC, but much less now that everyone is used to it. After the last three monthly meetups that I have co-organized she has calmed way down, though she still teases me. Today I UOC'ed to the gun shop and Walmart. When I came home she just rolled her eyes at me and laughed a little. She's supportive, but I don't think she'll be open carrying anytime soon.

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My wife comes from a hunting family, so she is very familiar with guns of all sorts. When I met her she had an old police special .38 her dad left her and a little tiny semi auto .25. I had a good arsenal my self from my hunting background. Back in the 80's I lived in Crescent City in Del Norte county and hadCCW for about 3 yrs.

To make a short story long, One day I was cleaning all the household guns and thought about getting a CCW here. I started digging around on the net and found thatitwas out of the question, but I did find this site in my search. The first time I carried, she said, "thats stupid carrying a unloaded gun." I told her that was the only way to carry legally. I also asked if she thought carrying loaded was stupid. She said "of course not, that makes sense." Now she always checks to make sure I use my booksafe when we are on the road. I suppose she has resigned herself to the fact I'm going to UOC.

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I started by trying to obtain a CCW permit. The wife (shadylane) was supportive for all the reasons one would carry concealed. I figure she also trusts me with a firearm as I've been a marksmen since I was 10 years old and received lots of training as a member of a Special Operations team (2 tours in Iraq and 1 in Afghanistan). Her support waned when I was denied a permit becasue of my lack of "good-cause" and started to look at UOC.

Her main concern now is negative police reaction and possible legal battles. Her concerns are valid and I share them. But they don't out way the risks of not being armed.

The solution, education. I read her all of the heavy hitting laws about it and asked her to trust that I've researched enough to know of all the minor laws that could still land me in trouble. Keep in mind that the window of opportunity for a discussion on the issue of carrying could be like 10 mins at time. If she seemed annoyed or bored I'd stop and pick it up another day.

So baby steps I guess.

I remember, my first outing (which I did solo), she joked of having to come pick me up from jail. Now she attends meet ups and comments from time to time on OCDO.

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My wife seemed a little concerned at first, but she trusts me to exercise sound judgment in all things I do... and when I fail she LOVES being able to say, "I told you so!"

Seriously though, after the first time I carried while out with her, she got over it very quickly. I think most people, even our wives, are prone to the same misconception that people will freak out. Every person I've introduced to the open carry experience has told me how profoundly uneventful it was. And to be honest, I was equally surprised the first few times I carried.

My advice if you're trying to convince your wife: take her out on the town while carrying... and hope you don't get unlucky and have a bad interaction on her first time out. (Pretty low risk; I open carried roughly 100 times before my first negative encounter.)

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I would have so few occasions to UOC legally (GFSZ issues), I don't bother. If I did, my wife would be supportive in concept, but apprehensive of police overreaction. She and I LOC'd in Pahrump.

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My wife, was supportive but I broke her in slowly. Carried around the house, first then to places I knew to be gun freindly and now she is totally supportive. I think she just thought it was going to draw to much "bad" attention, she saw instead how supportive most people were and that I got to have a lot of freindly discussions with folks.

She lost a bet now she has to open carry to our next meet. :celebrate

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My wife of 20 years wasn't thrilled when I told her of my plans to OC. She said I was NOT to do it when I had our son (8yrs old) with me, and not to plan on doing when I was with her.
Well, after reading up on this forum for about 6 months, I finally started OCing a couple weeks ago. I DID take our son with me on a couple occasions (including today to Lowe's and Jamba Juice) and she hasn't threatened divorce yet. We went out to dinner and shopping a couple nights ago (no son) and she just asked that I didn't carry into the restaurant, as she wanted a quiet dinner with no distactions, but didn't care if I carried while we shopped. I'm sure she'll get used to it in time.
I've got my son trained not to even mention my gun, look at it, or touch it while we're out and about.

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My girlfriend has been to a meetup and walked market night in Redlands with us. She really enjoys listening to everyone's educated talk on guns and laws and it eased her mind a lot.
She catches herself telling people about open carry all time... I like that!!

Guit

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JJ wrote:

  We went out to dinner and shopping a couple nights ago (no son) and she just asked that I didn't carry into the restaurant, as she wanted a quiet dinner with no distactions, but didn't care if I carried while we shopped. I'm sure she'll get used to it in time.

Click to expand...

My rebuttal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhyuJzjOcQE
and her testimony http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECTIf4yf1Yk