MSC 45ACP wrote:
A resounding "AMEN" from the choir loft for the above posts. I firmly believe when my children had a "cold bottom that needed warming up", they got it. As a result, they have become above-average students (3.5 GPA or above for all four), one ofmy daughtersis aresponsible OC'er,youngest daughter wastold last night (after her SECOND time picking up a match-grade smallborerifle) that sheis "Scholarship Material" by the coaching staff attheSmallbore Junior program ata local gun club. Youngest child has been in Scouting for four years.
The highest compliment one can receive from another adult is "Your children are wonderful students" or something about their behavior, manners, discipline or sportsmanship. To me, there is no better compliment.
Simplifying it: because they got a spanking when they needed it as toddlers, they are not (nor are they likely to be) convicted felons, teenaged (unwed) mothers, drug abusers, or criminals of any type. Theyare not sexually active anddon't drink, smoke orabuse drugs.
I disagree with one above statement, though... "They're good people". Sorry. I don't buy it. Good people don't raise monsters. That phrase crives me CRAZY. "Good People" don't raise unwed mothers, teenaged drunks or stoned shoplifters.
Something went wrong in the upbringing of their children. They may be "good people" in that they are not criminals themselves, but its nearly criminal behavior to raise a child with apathy and neglegence.
Parenting is a tough job. I'm the LEAST perfect person I know, but I do my darnedest to do a good job. We've all made mistakes. Hopefully none of my mistakeswill come back to bite me in the buttocks in the form of one of my children making a bad decision because I didn't teach them enough. I will spend the rest of my life hoping this doesn't happen.
Regardless of upbringing or in spite of it, some kids just "blow a fuse" and "go wrong". They may have been brought up in a loving home and attended the best schools, but they just "snap". File that under the "Feces Occurs" category. Their chances are greatly improved by good parenting, but some goodkids still make bad choices.
<stepping off soapbox, awaiting the barrage of flying vegetables>
I shall clarify "good people" for you. These neighbors of whom I spoke are good neighbors, nice people, not of the types you would avoid or not invite into your home. That was what I meant.
I didn't know them until 1999 and at that time, their son was, I think, 14.. the daughter was either 11 or 12. While I cannot say how they were raised before I knew them, I do believe I can make some very good guesses.
The first ten years of your child's life are the most important in terms of raising them. It is during this period where you implant the seeds and the concepts and ideas of parental authority along with responsibility. If you don't do the work here, you stand a pretty good chance of losing the child during their teenage years. I doubt these parents where nosy when they should have been (which means virtually always), watched with whom their children were hanging around, invited their children's friends over to see how they all interacted (did they go off into bedrooms and close the doors, down in the basement and act secretively, etc.). It was obvious these parents didn't control how their son and daughter dressed, too. When you dress a certain way, you are going to advertise to groups of teens and the wrong apparel can easily send a message to the wrong crowd (dropey pants, all black clothes, etc.).
Parents absolutely MUST do the work if they are to expect the results they hope for with their children. I could easily spend the next several pages and paragraphs on this topic, but I won't. I know what I think about raising kids is right and the proof is in my own two daughters. One graduated from UVA and went on to James Madison for her master's. The other was satisfied with her bachelor's from Virginia Tech. Both are married, have a child each, nice homes, and are VERY good people.
I was so fixed in my ideas about raising children that if my wife disagreed, we never would have gotten married. It had to be my way and it was (she agreed completely with me in raising them). I had just seen too many parents over the years do it wrong I was NOT going to be one of them. Too important of a parental job to screw up.
