• We are now running on a new, and hopefully much-improved, server. In addition we are also on new forum software. Any move entails a lot of technical details and I suspect we will encounter a few issues as the new server goes live. Please be patient with us. It will be worth it! :) Please help by posting all issues here.
  • The forum will be down for about an hour this weekend for maintenance. I apologize for the inconvenience.
  • If you are having trouble seeing the forum then you may need to clear your browser's DNS cache. Click here for instructions on how to do that
  • Please review the Forum Rules frequently as we are constantly trying to improve the forum for our members and visitors.

Craigs List

okboomer

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 18, 2009
Messages
1,164
Location
Oklahoma, USA
imported post

This was posted in another forum I belong to, and I don't know if it is true, but it is a funny scenario even if it isn't :lol:


To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you .... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex

P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil society!
 

Tomahawk

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 1, 2006
Messages
5,117
Location
4 hours south of HankT, ,
imported post

This has already been posted to OCDO in the past at least once. COnsensus was that it was amusing but almost certainly fake.

Even if you see it on craigslist with your own eyes, chances are somebody just copied and pasted the text of it from a forum like this one.
 

CommonMan101

Regular Member
Joined
May 20, 2009
Messages
123
Location
Dallas, Texas, USA
imported post

Funny stuff.

While I wouldn't do any of thestuff like steal his clothes or bash a car but I would be reallytempted to run up his phone bill.

Then again,maybe not... I actually had that opportunity and didn't do it. I DID throwthe phone away. It was a guy andhis friendwho said they didn't have a phone when he crashed into my son. When the cops showed up they were hauled away and when I went to pick up my son's car with a trailer we saw his phone sitting on his dash. Lying bastard! So I made it a truthful statement that he didn't have a phone. He was a drunk alien in a car that did not belong to him. He said he only spoke Spanish and tried to play the "No Habla Inglish" game. My son speaks it just fine though. ahahaha! His face dropped whenmy sonasked him the questions again in Spanish. Wish I was there for that moment! :lol:They didn't knowhe was in hisown neighborhood.
 

protector84

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2007
Messages
624
Location
Arizona, U.S.
imported post

Here's a robbery for the new economy: Idiot robs man walking down the street only to find out the wallet he stole had no cash or change in it, a bus pass that just expired, and credit cards that have already been closed by the creditors. The debit card doesn't work because the victim's bank account was already overdrawn with his rent check he paid late. Then when the attacker tries to use the victim's stolen cell phone, he gets a message that the Cricket customer has not paid his phone bill and access has been suspended. He also finds a car key to a vehicle that has already been repossessed.
 

since9

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Jan 14, 2010
Messages
6,964
Location
Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA
imported post

"Robbery for the new century" - too funny!

A friend once remarked that if anyone wanted to steal his credit cards, he'd gladly give them away: "Why not? I can cancel them in minutes, no liability, and yet they remain the fastest way to catch the guy."

It won't be long before every credit card has (or can have) an RFID tag that'll allow law enforcement to track the perp like lojack using cellular technology.
 

flintlock tom

Anti-Saldana Freedom Fighter
Joined
Jun 13, 2008
Messages
405
Location
San Diego, California, USA
imported post

This past Sunday my pastor said (and I'm sure he was joking) that when his wallet was stolen he didn't bother to cancel his cards because the thief was spending less than his wife does.

:what:
 

jag06

Regular Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2010
Messages
292
Location
, North Carolina, USA
imported post

AbNo wrote:
since9 wrote:
It won't be long before every credit card has (or can have) an RFID tag that'll allow law enforcement to track the perp like lojack using cellular technology.
http://www.rfidjournal.com/article/articleview/2098/1/1/

I like that device, hope they go into production and become available here in the US.

Since9, don't forget they will be able to use it to track you as well. Don't know about you but the last thing I want is for the government to track everywhere I go in the name of my "safety". Not that you have said you are for it, just thought I could post how I feel about rfid tags.

Back to the original post, I have seen it floating around the internet for a few years and love it, its more than likely fake but its still a great read.
 
Top