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Could someone please start a "Criminals for Gun Control" Organization?

SigPacker

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This is a work in progress but a nice letter like this from a "criminal organization" to companies that ban guns to perhaps make them see "the light"

Criminals for Gun Control wishes to thank you for your recent banning of all guns on your establishment, we have taken note of your stance on firearms and now makes you a high priority target for our criminal membership. So we can asses your business profile could you please fill out the following questionnaire:

Do you keep money in a safe or in the register?

Do you have any hot employees or children on the premises? (our rapist contingent likes to know these things)

How long does it take for the police to arrive at your location?

Thank you very much for your time - and we appreciate that you make our job easier and much less stressful by banning firearms at your establishment(s) as we know the only people who follow your stupid rules - arent criminals.

Sincerely
Thugmaster C."
I hope you all see the sarcasm in this letter!
 

j2l3

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Except for a few gramatical or spelling errors I think it's brilliant and should be sent to ALL businesses in the state, particularly in Seattle.

Well done!
 

SigPacker

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I wish I could say I was fantastic at my grammar and spelling! Corrections are welcome!
 

bcp

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Mar 31, 2008
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Leave out the questions and the "stupid rules" comment.

Make it more about your appreciation of their creation of a safe work environment for criminals.

Use common "safe workplace" language.

Bruce
 

aadvark

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I think I should try something like that here in my Community.

There are two Businesses in my Community that Ban Firearms Publicly: 1. Wachovia, and 2. Tuesday Morning.
 

HeesBonafide

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I like the concept!

If you really want to make the point -- drop the sarcasm in the letter. Make it a REAL letter as if you are someone that really is posing a letter of thanks:

Criminals for Gun Control wishes to thank you for your recent banning of all guns on your establishment! Rest assured, you are now on our list and we will spread the good news to our rapidly growing membership base. In doing so, we will be able to better serve you and your patrons when we patronize your establishment.

So we can assess your business profile could you please fill out the following questionnaire:

· Do you keep money in a safe or in the register?· What is the average cash on hand you keep in your register or safe?

· What is the average cash on hand your patrons have in their possession when they visit your business?

· What are the peak hours of business for your location?

· Do you know howlong does it take for the police to arrive at your location?

· Is there a burglar alarm at your establishment?

· Are there video cameras at your establishment?

Thank you very much for your time on this matter. We hope to use this information to better serve our membership and the community in providing a safe environment for us all.
[/quote]
style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff"Sincerely


Thugmaster C."
 

Batousaii

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~ Itoo like the idea, however i would take a slightly different approach. Rather than flavoring it with sarcasm form the start, make it sound as absolutely legit as possible. Make it almost heartfelt and sympathetic to the agony that "offenders in hard times" face, commenting on job safety, job longevity, reduced medical costs at taxpayers expense -- the works!.... then at the end, request a donation to the "maurice clemins memorial fund" to help the friends and families of the slain offender.

If it sounds legit and heart felt at first- they will read the whole thing (rather than roll their eyes and click it out realising it is an affront). After possibly considering it, to see the MCMF donation request at the end, would make em feel a little dirty. Kinda like when you realize the hot-girl you wuz checking out is a gen-swap... lol.

Consider alternative naming conventions (dishwasher = textiles engineer).. to be just a little sneaky at first, enough to peek their interest and keep em reading.

lol - have fun

;)Bat
 

Trigger Dr

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Mr. XXDXX

CEO XYZ co.

You are well aware that the presence of guns inthe community poses a direct threat to the health and well being of those that frequent your business.

As spokesman for our organization, I wish to compliment you on your decision to disallow the presence of guns within the confines of your business and property. It a great comfort to know that when I, or one of our members, patronize your business we will not need to worry about the threat of injury or possibly death from gunfire.

Once again, thanks for making a safe work environment for all to enjoy.

Inmate #1456623

Walla Walla, Washington.
 

Capn Camo

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Nov 19, 2009
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Just make sure to leave out any words or phrases that might be construed to say that you intend to do criminal activity.

Other than that, this is what I do. I liek the following:

Those of you who hate the Constitution, raise your right hand
Those of you who dont own guns, raise you left hand.

Now the criminals dont even have to say STICK EM UP.:what::what:
 

ghosthunter

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Jun 8, 2008
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MOUNT VERNON, Washington, USA
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umm Like the idea . But I would not put anything in about slain perps. We should not make fun of the loss of any human life. We are all about protection of life.

Don't get me wrong Clemmons got what he deserved in my veiw. But rubbing folk,s nose in it will do us no good.
 

Bookman

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Aug 3, 2008
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Winston Salem, North Carolina, United States
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This organization already exists. It's called the Brady Campaign to Advance Criminal Enterprise.

Any organization seeking to abrogate the Constitution is a group of traitors, which makes tham criminals in my book.
 

amlevin

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Feb 16, 2007
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North of Seattle, Washington, USA
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This is a great idea----BUT----

Most companies would most likely just reply "We've never had any problem with our current policy that is in effect."

A typical mentality of closing the barn door after the horse wanders off.



Would be interesting though to see what happens if everyone here invested a stamp and sent this letter to one company of their choice and post who it was here so that everyone didn't send the letter to the same company.
 
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