My family doesn't "get it"

imported post

Just like what the title says. Everyone in my family acts completely ignorant about me open carrying.

My wife thinks it is "the most idiotic idea I have ever had" and thinks that it not only endangers my safety but the safety of everyone around me. She refuses to go anywhere with me if I have my gun on my hip, and is even reluctant to be in a car with me while the gun is cased and locked in the trunk. The bizarre thing is that her dad is a big hunter and gun buff.

This is where it gets more wierd. People in her family seem to share the same belief that she does, despite the fact that they have a room in their house that looks like an armory. I'm not sure why they all have this idea in their head that me doing this puts everyone at risk; they aren't crazy wigged-out libs or constitution stompers, I really thought of all the people I talked to about this that her family would be the most accepting of it. Instead, I'm no longer allowed near her younger sister's un-conceived children with "that F#$%^# thing".

It makes it exceptionally difficult to do something that I whole-heartedly believe in when the people that are supposed to be my support structure fail to do just that: support me in my decisions. Nothing I can say or do makes them understand that it is MY RIGHT, which SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED UPON. I feel exponentially more uncomfortable having to argue this point with people than I feel about strapping my gun on and going out. Normally I am a very eloquent and pleasant conversationalist, but for some reason I can't get by why people can't just leave it be with "It's my right to do so, you are not in any danger."

So if any of you have some tips that have really turned the tide of a conversation to your favor and garnered some support, help me out, because I really can't stand it when people try to trample my rights, especially people so close to me.

imported post

I expect my family to react the same way. Although I don't have a wife to contend with I would say living by your beliefs is the most important thing. The first step in my opinion for them to accepting it would be to try and make it a normal thing, like putting on a belt.
Their voicing a different opinion isn't trampling your rights. I'd imagine that you're not just carrying because you can, but in order to protect your and your wifes life, try and help them understand that. Personally I was considering a firearms course to add a level of credibility. Even though I shouldn't need one, it sounds like fun and can't hurt.

imported post

"If I saw anyone with a gun on where I work I would call the police and demand they be arrested because they are making me feel unsafe" was another gem from the conversation. I guess on a personal level -i- feel like that is rights trampling.

What if I were scared of men with tatooes or long hair or a different skin color than mine? Does that make it ok to call the police because I have an irrational fear and demand they be arrested for doing nothing else but being part of a minority? Of course not, that is utterly moronic, but people don't tend to like it when I point out that they are discriminating against a minority and trying to invalidate that person's rights because of prejudice and preconceived notions.

imported post

My wife felt the same way about my open carry. She would not be seen out side with me at all. After about2 months, she just gave up. Now she knows to wait for a minute when we park so I can get out and holster up. She assumes that I will be carrying at all times now. She still does not like it, but she is used to it now. So today, if I have a belt on, I will have a holster on also, and she know it. As far as her family goes... I gave up on them years ago... Again, time should fix it all though. Go to a few "events" this summer. Bring her with. When she sees that it is not just you, she will learn to deal with it better. I bet by the end of summer, she does not feel the same way she does now.

imported post

Sixty (60) Years of GUN == BAD being taught in the schools is difficult to overcome and won't be achieved overnight. That is why we MUST "come out of the closet."

My wife doesn't like it either, so here are my suggestions.

1. Talk to your wife. Explain to her WHY you feel the need to exercise the right.
2. Bring her to the picnics. Help her realize there are MANY who do this.
3. Start a support group. We meet once a week in Onalaska just to discuss/support one another.
4. The "family" is stuck in the guns for hunting thinking.
5. Give them examples of were an armed citizen saved lives and where unarmed citizens couldn't.

That's a starting point.

imported post

SIGdude,

I solved my family issues by using a purely "Rights" based argument. I think it worked because they thought the idea was loony originally and didn't see any need for me to carry a firearm in our "safe" community. So I didn't feed their thoughts. I took the "champion of our rights" approach. I talked to them about the history of the protection of ourrights all the way from the Magna Carta, the revolutionary war, the aftermath of the civil war, passage of the 14 amendment, the civil rights movement.

I believe this must have made them decide I wasn't a loony and that I had a darn good reason for doing it; even if they didn't agree with my approach. After all, it's my first amendment right to display an openly carried firearm to bring about understanding of my 2nd amendment right to protect my life and myfirst amendmentitself with said firearm.

Many in my family still don't like it, but they tolerate it andI gained a few converts as well. For the few that refused to even think about it; well, I don't care about their opinions anyway.



Lastly, since I'm from around the area, let me know and I'll join you for a beer or some food some night or weekend and we can have a chat. It's always nice to have a conversation with some right minded individuals.

imported post

My wife, god bless her, is originally from Wisconsin and has moved to Texas with me many moons ago but she still has a son in Wi. Anyway, when I first got my TxCHL she was against it and didn't like me carrying and HATED guns being in the house after many moons have passed she came to accept my decision even if she still doesn't like it and has asked on occasion to make sure I did have my gun with me. When visiting Wi the last time she didn't even blink an eye or give me a dirty look when I OCed, but unfortunately I wasn't able to OC everywhere because of her 9y/o son, who is a whole new can of worms in itself with taking a bb gun to school and shooting a teacher, but yeah, I didn't OC around him because he was frightened and until we get custody of him there's no way of unbrainwashing him or straightening him out as their idea of punishment is a spanking that my two year old would laugh at because it's so weak.

imported post

Fear: they have been brainwashed into thinking that guns are only for hunting. Ask then if they are endangering themselves or others when they take a gun out hunting. A rifle will shoot farther and a shot gun has a bigger spread. Do they have the urge to shoot people and rob banks every time they pick up a gun and then walk out into the woods and blast innocent creatures away; thus filling the need to kill. What will people think?

No need: Because Baraboo is a quiet town and not much crime they don't see the need. Crime only happens in big cities. Is there a lot of crime in Baraboo; no, but it does happen. If they can tell you when and where a crime will take place I will carry only there.

We just had a janitor from a local school arrested for an armed robbery and I live in a quiet town.

My wife and I carry everywhere. I insisted that she carry because I can't protecter her 24/7. I love my wife to much.

imported post

Unfortunatly I am in the same boat. My wife does not agree with open carry. Last summer there were some houligans messing around in the alley late one night. I went out there strapped up. My thought is someone yelling "get the H3LL outa here) would hold more water if that someone had a sidearm strapped on. Well the local police were out there looking for the punks. They saw my sidearm and pretty much just said "dont reach for your gun unless your defending yourself". My wife came out and was upset, thinking that the cops are gonna bust me. The cop told her its perfectly legal. Yet she still doesnt want to go any where if I'm carrying. She did say she wouldnt have a problem if CC was legal and I carried, she just doesnt like it in the open. I seldome carry out now because she is usually with me when I do.



One of these days I am going to sit down and really discuss it, when I have a few hours of time available. I could care less about what her family thinks or says however.

imported post

Well SigDude,

I guess I gotta ask what you told them as to the reason you are now carrying a pistol. Did you tell them it was to make a statement? or did you tell the wifey it was to protect her and yourself from harm?

I guess I just got it easy, when me and my GF were first dating she had no clue I even owned any guns. Well then something weird happened one night when she was over at my house,
I heard footsteps on the roof of the house that I was renting, I told her to stay in the room, and if she heard me yell to call the cops to dial 911 But to not call if I did not say to call, (very important)
That is when I grabbed my Stainless Ruger revolver and went outside to confront the drunken crackheadidiot that I found on my roof trying to break in through an upstairs window.
He was so F'ed up he mistook my home for the one next door where the woman who lived the had a restraining order against him for being abusive.
Since that very first time she realized that I possess the ability and the proper tools to defend her and her son against the crazies.

Sadly it may justtake a violent crime to happen in your neighborhood to make the wife realize that a gun is the proper tool needed to protect her from the crazies in the world.

imported post

Nut, basically I'm doing it for several reasons. Firstly, I am a firm believer that it is better to wear the gun every day and never need it than to need it one day and not have it.

Secondly, I find myself over the last few years becoming highly aware of the amount of rights that citizens willingly allow to be taken from them. I have always been fairly liberties-oriented but when I sit down and think about it, there was no gradual snap or switch that was flipped and made me like this, just day to day happenings making me realize how important our rights are and what happens when someone tries to supplant them.

Naturally, they all think that this is a quiet, small town and nothing bad ever happens here. 6 murders in the last 10 years. Dozens of rapes. Hundreds of burglaries, assaults, thefts, and other assorted felonies. I'm well trained enough that I could handle 1 other person who is also unarmed. I'm not well trained enough to handle any more than that. As such, I would rather carry a firearm to make myself feelsafe, and if people around methink a holstered and thumb-breakedhand guncarried by a person who has never even gotten as much as a traffic ticketworries them so much then I guess they don't need to be around me, but any rational thinking individual will see it as a means to further ensure my safety and the safety of those I care about

People willing to trade their freedom for temporary security deserve neither and will lose both. I'm right there with Old Ben.

imported post

While I am not married, I have dealt with this from my girlfriend and MY family. Here are some of the things that I speak of:

1. When I am shopping: Reference the woman in SoCal that started stabbing people randomly in Target. She was apprehended by an off-duty LEO. If I am confronted by someone in the store who doesn't think I should be carrying I say this: So if someone walked in the store right now and started shooting everyone in sight, would you still thinkI didn't need to carry? That one gets them every time.

2. As for my girlfriend and family: There are several things that I will say. For one, it's a constitunionally protected right that should not be infringed. If they don't support it than that is fine, however, they need to understand it's place. I have started to take my girlfriend shooting and get her used to a firearm. She has been willing to do that but still doesn't quite understand it. I will be taking her to an event just to see what it is all about. She won't carry, but she'll hopefully learn from it.

And for the other naysayers in the area, a friend of mine was walking home from a Festival here in La Crosse on Saturday night. As she was walking with a friend, someone came out of nowhere and hit her friend in the face. Knocked him out cold, broke his eye-socket, and fled. No apparent reason for the attack. The worst part, the guy is a LEO!!!! If that's not reason enough for me to carry and protect myself then what is????

imported post

Man, I feel like the lucky one. My fiance` is in total support of OC. She says it makes her feel safe when we're together and I have a gun. She knows she's well protected and appreciates it.

One member of my family believes in the Constitution and knows that personal protection is the individual's duty; the rest of my family thinks its just crazy to even think of ever carrying a gun, only police should have guns, and that ALL GUNS ARE EVIL :what:

imported post

Blue, if all guns are evil, and only cops should have guns are cops evil?

imported post

love is grand. divorce is 20 grand. anyway, to attempt to help; when faced with dissent from the government, i have stood on, and it works: Dear, is it your intent to infringe upon my rights as guarenteed by the constitution of the united states?

imported post

Does anyone in the family who's against your OC smoke, drink, or eat to much? If so, bring that up. "My gun, when used properly, like I use it, will not harm anyone, except to protect my life, or those I love, your smoking, AT BEST, will only kill you."

imported post

For the same reason I keep a fire extinguisher in the kitchen.My family is notexpecting a fire, but should I ever need it, it is there.

For the same reason Ikeep a spare tire for the truck. My family is notexpecting a flat, but should I ever need it, it is there.

For the same reason I keep afirst aid kitin the bathroom. My family is not expectingto get hurt, but should I ever need it, it is there.

imported post

SIGdude,
here is a story that may help your family understand just how important it is to be able to protect yourself when needed.

If this doesn't help, I am afraid nothing will.


http://www.gunownersalliance.com/hupp-10.htm

imported post

Another I have used, after a long winded one sided anti-speech is, "I have listened to you speak freely about how you feel towards guns and carry,as youare allowed to speak that way because it is your rightto do so, and Iand honoryour right to do so, even though I may not be a fan of what you have to say, I still supportthat right you have..."

Usually that should be enough to get them thinking. I'm not out to win anyone over, I just want them to think a little bit. I never get into the "Me, me, me" side of things. Sometimes, I don't mention the word 'gun' at all, use 'safe' or 'safety', like BNH said, the 'G' word can be scary for some.

imported post

I have had this same problem with some of the guys at work. It is hard to argue when you are talking about opinion so I started to show them some stats off the web. They will have a hard time arguing when thefacts don't back up their side of the argument. Also the book by John Lott JR. More Guns Less Crime is a good place to start. The facts don't lie. I also have been cutting articles out of the paper about the crimes that happen in our area and showing them that bad things happen to good people. Don't let them discourage you, you are doing the right thing. You should feel proud for standing up for your rights. Carry on my friend.